I would like to nominate my mother to be one of your Instinct Moms of the Month. She has always been there for me, well except that time I was drowning in Crystal Lake. She loved me so much that she even got a job as a cook at a summer camp so I could go. Even though she knew I was different than other boys, she always defended me, like when my camp counselors were too busy playing ’80s naughty tube-sock-touch-tickle instead of watching over me, she taught them a lesson…in the dangers of sharp objects.
CH CH CH CH AH AH AH AH and kisses,
Jason Voorhees, Crystal Lake
Jase and his mother Pamela share a truly special bond. This could be attributed to all that they have in common: their love of nature, pastels and revenge. “The counselors weren’t paying any attention. They were making love while that young boy drowned,” Pamela says. “Jason should’ve been watched. Every minute. He was…He wasn’t a very good swimmer. We can go now…dear.” Ol’ Pam even went as far as developing schizophrenia to keep her boy’s childish presence with her at all times. “Kill her, Mommy. Kill her. Don’t let her get away Mommy. Don’t let her live,” she says. “I won’t, Jason. I won’t!” And who can forget when Pam finally lost her head, it was Jason (like any good gay son) who took her in and looked after her…and that fabulous sweater.When we told Pammy about this honor, she was incredibly touched. “You let him drown. You never paid any attention. Look what you did to him. Look what you did to him!” she said. “Come dear. It’ll be easier for you than it was for Jason.” AAAAHHH!!!
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