The second-best gay magazine in the country (second behind Instinct, of course) is Details. Okay, maybe not technically gay, but c’mon, pretty gay. Anyway, in Details’ current December issue with John Mayer on the cover (see, kinda gay...), there is an entertaining, yet slightly unnerving piece on the rise of the gay douchebag. Actually, they refer to him as a “douchefag,” but I’m not too keen on that term.
Point is, I love the term “douchebag.” It so perfectly describes so many annoying people (yes, people, because I certainly have been known to stick a chick in that category before). A douchebag can be tacky. He can be absurd. Annoying. Cocky for no reason. The possibilities are endless.
But, my definition of douchebag has almost solely been connected to the heteros in my life. What is this gay douchery Details speaks of?
Well, apparently you’re a gay douchebag if you take the prime principles of being stereotypically queer just a tad too far for comfort. Example: If you’re eagerly awaiting the Sex and the City sequel, then you’re gay. If you, however, stood in line for hours and “auditioned” to be an extra in said sequel, then you’re a gay douchebag. Only work out with a trainer? Gay. Only date trainers? Gay douchebag. Gives bigger tips to cute delivery boys? Gay. Plays just the tip with cute delivery boys? That’s right, gay douchebag.
Thinks DADT is a bad military policy clearly makes you gay. But thinking that DADT is a good plastic surgery policy makes you a gay douchebag.
Wear skin-tight shirts to clubs and bars? Gay. Takes off skin-tight shirts at clubs and bars? Gay douchebag (and a large percentage of my friends).
There’s a whole host of entertaining (maybe too close for comfort) comparisons in the piece (my personal favorite being that you’re gay if you cried when Lady Diana died, but you’re a gay douchebag if you cry when Lady Gaga performs), but it also made me stop and self reflect. Of the 40 some-odd cues, I, apparently, am a tiny bit of a gay douchebag—and no, I’m not reveling which examples fit me. Does that mean I need to stop bestowing my favorite insult title unto others? Hell no! After all, wouldn’t we all pick being a gay douchebag over a straight one?