Dad Disowns Gay Son In Handwritten Letter That Has Gone Viral PDF Print
Written by Instinct Staff | Wednesday, 08 August 2012

dad letter

A heart wrenching letter reminding us why we're fighting everyday for equality and tolerance has been making the social network rounds in its ascent to viraldom.  Posted by Reddit user RegBarc (James), the intimate letter announcing disownment from his father is still an all too familiar refrain in the LGBT community. 

Grab the tissues and follow the jump to read what James has to say.

James writes on Reddit:

In August of 2007, I finally built up the courage to tell my father I was gay. The moment I said it, the phone got quiet and he got off the phone after a few "Okay"s. I decided to give him time to process the news. About a week later, and not long before my birthday, I received the following letter:

"James: This is a difficult but necessary letter to write. I hope your telephone call was not to receive my blessing for the degrading of your lifestyle. I have fond memories of our times together, but that is all in the past. Don’t expect any further conversations With me. No communications at all. I will not come to visit, nor do I want you in my house. You’ve made your choice though Wrong it may be. God did not intend for this unnatural lifestyle. If you choose not to attend my funeral, my friends and family will understand. Have a good birthday and good life. No present exchanges will be accepted. Goodbye, Dad."

It's important to know just what this zealotry from Bryan Fisher, Maggie Gallagher, Dan Cathy, et al., does to everyday people. I've never done drugs, was an excellent student, an obedient child (far less trouble than many of my classmates), didn't drink until I was 22 because it terrified me, and have had just 1 speeding ticket in my life. Yet I am still seemingly deserving of this terrible act of hate and cowardice that one person can place on another. 5 years on and I am still doing fine, though this letter saunters into my mind every once in a while. When it does, I say without hesitation: F**k you, Dad.

 (Via Towleroad)

Comments (37)Add Comment
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written by Kama, August 08, 2012
I say better off
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written by JRS, August 08, 2012
OMG, that's just so wrong in all levels smilies/sad.gif
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written by Jake Edwards, August 08, 2012
smilies/sad.gif
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written by Josh Drury, August 08, 2012
I'm so sorry that you went through that. But I am in a situation when I wasn't disowned and have had to argue with my mom about my lifestyle a million times. And believe me, there were times that it's been so bad that I wished I was disowned.
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written by jam, August 08, 2012
ouch. that's a bit harsh coming from a parent that is supposed to love a child unconditionally
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written by Desirae, August 08, 2012
I really didn't want to believe that a parent could actually do something so heartless, to their own child. Especially in this day and age. It sickens me.
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written by shell, August 08, 2012
i say FU dad also
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written by Bill Ballantyne, August 08, 2012
This is just so sad.All I can Say is that I wish you were my son as I would give the biggest hug ever. Stay strong... I'm a gay man with no son.He did not desrve you in his life
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written by Susan Scammon, August 08, 2012
glad you're done w/ him==his loss...smilies/wink.gifsmilies/wink.gif
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written by The Huth, August 08, 2012
What a biggot. You are the bigger man in all this by far.
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written by Ronnie, WeHo, CA, August 08, 2012
Sorry about your father... but here's some love....

E-hugs a million times...

Sending super love vibes and hugs your way... I know it doesn't take the place of your father... but hopefully you'll know that a mother of 2 in West Hollywood, CA is thinking about you and sends positive energy your way.

Take care...
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written by Gregorysnd, August 08, 2012
You are better off without his hate and your trying to please him would only torment you throughout your life. Be happy don't hate him, maybe someday he will come knocking.
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written by Charmayne, August 08, 2012
You know I would never understand why people have to be that way. But i guess were all better of with that kind of people in our lives. Am sorry your dad fells that your life style changes that you are his son and who you are. Who we choose to love dosen't change who we are inside.
My father accepts me for loving a woman but my mother acts on way to my face and another to my back. So keep your head up and keep on going. And to all like us we are who we are and don't have to change to make someone els happy.
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written by Angel love, August 08, 2012
Right on! I've had that happened to me but just face to face...and now I'm happy with my wife and son..I love my life right now.

"live life free in all the colors!"
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written by Michaelantonio, August 08, 2012
Although this son is hurting badly from an uncaring & thoughtless father, he should learn to understand the difference between hate & religious/cultural difference of opinion. Many good people simply disagree with the gay lifestyle, yet they love those in their lives who engage in this lifestyle.

Those who would try to generalize & lump everyone in the same category as a hater & bigot, are just as guilty of hate as those who truly do hate gay people.

If you don't prefer the smoker's lifestyle, you can still love those smokers in your life just as much as anyone else. We have to get away from the divisive nature of attacking the many for the hate of the few....
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written by misty, August 08, 2012
My heart fell reading this! This is what we truly fear hearing when we finally find the courage to come out! This hits home too close &hard!!! I can do or say nothing but love hope & aspirations your way!! Be proud of who u are & keep finding th courage to be who u are!!! Xoxoxoxo
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written by Crash Rainbowtron, August 08, 2012
"But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever." -1 Timothy 5:8 ESV
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written by Susan T., August 08, 2012
Dear James (RegBarc), I will gladly adopt you and you can be MY SON!! I have a son and a daughter so you will have instant siblings! They are super people and very tolerant and NICE! I have always wished I had had more kids......I would be proud to call you my son........
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