Sure, it may be that time of the year when every magazine and news organization will put out their best and worst lists for all things 2009. But let’s face it, the only opinion that really matters is ours! We already hit the cultural highlights of the year in our December/January issue, but this week will delve just a little deeper into a few of our favorite topics. So, check back every day and weigh in on our choices. Think we got it wrong? Let us know! Think we got it right? Tell us that even more! We love a little praise...
Today’s Fave 5 is uniquely Instinct: The tools that annoyed us to no end this year, so we’d prefer they drop off the face of the earth next year. And trust, picking only five was no easy task.
Tiger Woods’ Many Mistresses
Wow, you slept with a professional athlete...score! You slept with a golfer...lame! Bad enough you were doing the nasty with a married man, but saving every text and voicemail just makes you an opportunistic ho. And besides, unless you were mistress #1, anyone else was just sloppy seconds. Or sixteenths.
Why are you still relevant? You were hardly relevant when you were running for VP! Okay, so you “wrote” a book this year and went on Oprah. You also resigned from being governor before finishing your first term—quitter!—and scared middle America by perpetuating lies about healthcare reform. Way to be a leader.
Soooooo over you. Go be a good father or something.
Well not the actual balloon boy, because he didn’t really do anything wrong (other than throw up on live TV, poor thing). But his f-ed up parents. What the hell were you thinking?! You two are the precise reason that future generations will laugh at us, because you pulled ridiculous stunts like faking your own child’s abduction (of sorts) for the chance at getting a reality show, where you would likely end up like the douchebag above.
Carrie Prejan and Maggie Gallagher
Truth be told, you two could each hold your own position on our little list. But you’ve become so inexplicably linked with one another, we figured we’d just keep that going. For no other reason than the fact that you both represent that complete antithesis of what a good Christian is supposed to be, we politely ask that you shut the fuck up.