Sir, is that a gun in your pocket?
41-year-old Jonah Falcon was packing some seriously heavy artillery when he went through security at San Francisco International Airport on July 9.
One lucky (or unlucky, depending on your tastes) TSA officer had to do a pretty intensive pat-down when the man with what's being called "the world's largest penis" made his way through security.
More after the jump.
Falcon told The Huffington Post, about the security guard's extensive search of his favorite carry-on.
"I had my 'stuff' strapped to the left. I wasn't erect at the time. One of the guards asked if my pockets were empty and I said, 'Yes.'"
Apparently measurements state that Mr. Falcon's member is 9 inches flaccid, 13.5 inches erect. Not that you care.
Falcon tells Huff Po, that "he knew that his interview was about to get a lot more personal when he was led through one of the X-ray body scanners and passed a metal detector."
Falcon laughs, "Another guard stopped me and asked me if I had some sort of growth."
A younger security guard interpreted Falcon's "very noticeable" package as a biological threat.
"I said, 'It's my dick,'" Falcon said. "He gave me a pat down but made sure to go around [my penis] with his hands. They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing."
Apparent the TSA kept things professional. Falcon says the screener got through the such without so much as a blush or a smile. He even made his flight to New York on time!
Falcon has a new plan for the next time he flies: "I'm just gonna wear bike shorts from now on. That way, they'll know. You'd think the San Francisco TSA would have had experience with hung guys before, but I guess not."
Oh, TSA. Keeping us safe from weapons of mass destruction.
All in a day's work.