The folks at the National Organization for Marriage took the bait Google dangled in front of them on Valentine's Day by pretending to not take the bait.
"Personally we'd hesitate to make some of these analogies," wrote the hate group in a blog post on Tuesday.
What?! NOM is for once hesitant about making illogical homophobic claims? Are pigs flying? Nope, but—pardon us for not hesitating—pigs might be in an sinful relationship with your toaster, courtesy of Google's prophetic Valentine's Day video and, satanic sodomite marriage, of course.
Just as silly as NOM's (totally unexpected!) mockery of the Google doodle are some of the comments from readers appearing on the blog post.
"Let's see, inanimate objects, inter-species, same-sex. I guess Google sees them as all being the same. I just love my new shoes. Maybe I'll marry them. I doubt my husband will mind."
"This is one of the reasons why I use bing.com instead."
Now while we totally support the blessed union of cookies and milk despite the fact that it ruins the sanctity of our four-pack, we cannot get behind the abomination that is astronaut/octopus marriage equality.