Updated Tuesday, 3:30 p.m.

Cynthia Nixon has expanded on her "I chose a gay lifestyle" comment by claiming it was delivered from a place of biphobia. The situation gets stickier, after the jump.

In a follow-up to Monday's New York Times story, The Daily Beast's Kevin Sessums asks Nixon to clarify her controversial comments. 

I’m a bit confused. Were you a lesbian in a heterosexual relationship? Or are you now a heterosexual in a lesbian relationship? That quote seemed like you were fudging a bit.

It’s so not fudging. It’s so not. I think for gay people who feel 100 percent gay, it doesn’t make any sense. And for straight people who feel 100 percent straight, it doesn’t make any sense. I don’t pull out the “bisexual” word because nobody likes the bisexuals. Everybody likes to dump on the bisexuals.

But it is the “B” in LGBT.  

I know. But we get no respect.

You just said “we,” so you must self-identify as one.

I just don’t like to pull out that word. But I do completely feel that when I was in relationships with men, I was in love and in lust with those men. And then I met Christine and I fell in love and lust with her. I am completely the same person and I was not walking around in some kind of fog. I just responded to the people in front of me the way I truly felt.

I understand for political reasons why some people want to kind of squelch this idea that being gay might be a choice, because a lot of the rights we want are posited on the supposition that why are you denying me my rights any more than if I were created a different color? But I don’t feel the need to cede the definition of what a gay person is to the bigots. They don’t get to define who I am.

Does her resistance to use the "B" portion of the acronym clarify her statements for you, Instincters?

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(Original post)

Sex and the City alumnus Cynthia Nixon raised a lot of threaded eyebrows on Monday after telling the New York Times that she chose a homosexual lifestyle for herself. 

"I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.

"As you can tell, I am very annoyed about this issue. Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with.”

Cynthia, who will join her wife Christine to celebrate her son's first birthday in a few weeks, elevates an interesting point: what ramifications might arrive if it was revealed that homosexuality stems as much from human decision as it does from genetic coding? Is it possible Cynthia's argument might benefit the lesbian portion of the LGBT yet harm the gay male community? Discuss!

(Source: NYT)

Comments (17)

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written by Serefin 84, January 23, 2012

These is a very dangerous comment from Cynthia, I think. She is simply bisexual but setting our work towards tolerance back a few years with this bs

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written by Stone Gonzalez, January 23, 2012

I think that calling it "a choice " is absurd. More likely Ms. Nixon is a bisexual female, for whom the attraction is stronger towards females. I would therefore argue that she likes both sexes and is still gay. Nothing to do with choice.

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written by Chuck Anziulewicz, January 23, 2012

All this tells me is what many people have known for a long time: Women tend to be much more "fluid" in their sexuality than men.

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written by David Tullis, January 23, 2012

Cynthia, like everyone else in this world (gay, straight, and bisexual), did not choose her sexual orientation. She chose how she wants to live her life. I am gay, but I am living a celibate life right now. One is my choice; the other is not.

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written by Chris D, January 23, 2012

I would be okay with Cynthia's statement if she simply made it clear that she was referring strictly to being lesbian and not homosexuality in general. This was outrageously irresponsible of her.

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written by Jasper, January 23, 2012

I can't speak for any LGBTQ person any more than they (or Cynthia Nixon) can speak for me. In THAT regard, Cynthia is correct. What many of us are bothered by is not so much that she is 100% correct but by the fact that any chink in that argument gives the Religious Right a toe-hold in the discussions of sexuality, whereas they can say "See? See? You CAN change because you chose!!" Now THAT is what bothers us.

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written by Kayle, January 23, 2012

@Chris D: You realize you're saying the exact same thing she did?

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written by Gregor6, January 23, 2012

Although her statement makes me uncomfortable, I don't think her argument is entirely without merit.

For me, being gay was not a choice. I didn't flip a switch or wake up one morning and DECIDE to be attracted to guys. It's also my biggest argument as to why I should be treated no differently than my straight counterparts.

But if you throw it against the context of other things we like or dislike, it becomes a little less black and white. I don't care for redheads. Put a dozen redhead men in front of me, if I don't fancy any of them, does that make me straight? Of course not. Is my aversion to red hair similar or different to my aversion to women? Is it genetic? Neurological? I don't care for a lot of vegetables. Or country music. How much of our likes and dislikes are predetermined, and how much of them are a conscious preference? There are a lot of things I hated as a kid, and now I like them, and vice versa.

I assume a lot of this debate gets settled with better word choice. We're probably a lot less control in what we are attracted to, and a lot more in control of how we choose to express that. A lot of gay people are living lives as straight married persons.

On the other hand, maybe we do have a little more control over what we like and dislike than we're aware of. It's hard to imagine that any of us would choose a life full of persecution and discrimination. But the brain is complex, and it's tough to fully comprehend all of the neurological and biochemical mechanisms in place that structure who we are and the choices we make. While I still don't believe that same sex attraction is a choice, I don't think we should be entirely dismissive of Cynthia's remarks.

Something else to chew on. 7 billion people on the planet... If as little as 3% of us are gay/lesbian, then that's nearly a quarter billion of us. And a percentage of the population is certifiably nuts. So statistically, I would argue that there are some people who did make a conscious choice to be gay.

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written by Marcdfw, January 23, 2012

The fact of the matter is that no matter if someone chooses to be gay or not; it should not matter in terms of our rights as a community. Period. It seems as if we are using an excuse to justify our existence; "we were born this way, so we deserve equal rights, protection against discrimination, and equal marriage protection and rights."

The truth is we deserve it because we are human beings who don't happen to confirm to "normal" sexual behavior. I, for the record, do not believe it's a choice. If Cynthia does, then that's her opinion. But the only thing that makes it a dangerous opinion is pinning our argument on the fact that we only deserve equal rights because we were all born this way.

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written by Scott S, January 23, 2012

That is very dangerous territory. I believe Cynthia should be more detailed, by saying that she is bi-sexual and chose to live a gay lifestyle. But for those of us who are gay...we're just gay...not bi-sexual. Her statement is too broad, even though she said "for her." This WILL make it difficult for some kids trying to come out to their parents. Very sad!

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written by LindaMarie, January 23, 2012

This is going to be very rude ! The bitch should mind Her mouth. For those of Us who have come such a long way in this world of bigots and religious zealous[ I told you so's] bible thumpers. {they} will eat this up...and use it against Us. And keep ALL of US, third class citizens,because some Hollywood rich bitch{Cynthia} spouts Her mouth off about it being a choice ! If this "woman",doesn't know what side her bread is buttered on..., that's HER Problem !! DON'T make it OURs !

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written by christine h., January 23, 2012

I think her point is that it doesn't matter how you got to BE gay, but you ARE gay - we ARE gay. for some people it was there from the beginning and they've always known it and that's beautiful. for others there is more 'choice' involved. and you can call that bisexuality but i think creating another 'box' is divisive and suggests somehow that bisexuality is not gay... for a bisexual who has a female partner, well - is she any less gay than a woman who has never been with a man? is she somehow not gay? i would say yes - of course she's gay! let us welcome her with open arms! and yes, she also 'chose' to some degree, to be with the woman that she loves. we all choose that. choose love.

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written by Diane Williams Shaw, January 23, 2012

I think that everyone, including the fab Cynthia Nixon is missing the point. You can, in fact, choose to LIVE as a gay or strait or whatever person in your daily life.
It is not a question of who you are, what she is talking about is what (or maybe whom?) you do. Gay may be who we are even if we chose to try and live a certain behavior. Straight people can and do have gay sex, and some of them even live gay lives- loving and wonderful gay lives. Gay people do often choose to live straight lives, some can do it successfully, some cannot. to some, that effort can be tragic, to others, a nuisance. We all live on a spectrum whether we admit or not. The question of identity & self identification, and what makes us alive and ticking may often have a different answer than what kind of life are we living. (AND...Bigotry is bigotry, no matter what kind of person or lifestyle we are talking about, or which "side" said what.)
So, her point about bigotry being bad, and not making it a point about how we got here- we still deserve to be treated with respect...yeah, I am all in. She doesnt threaten me, my sexuality, or my life, by saying she chooses to live gay (or be gay, or however she words it.)
I agree with her, inequality is bad.

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written by Bob Bond, January 23, 2012

I think, as others have stated, that people are missing the point of her statement. She did not say same gender attractions is a choice for everyone. She said she has been attracted to men and to women and she has found the latter to be better. Some of us are more exclusively attracted to one gender or the other and that is not a choice. I do believe women tend to be more attracted to a personality than to a body type then men which permits greater fluidity in their partner selection.

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written by amy, January 24, 2012

i think for some people being gay chooses them or for some other we choose it. it's not always something "we can't HELP" - makes it sound like a disease.

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written by Oh My..., January 27, 2012

WTF is wrong with her. She's bisexual, but doesn't like to use that word. So instead she calls herself a gay person who can choose what gender she's attracted to? There is no such thing! That's the definition of bisexual.

She wonders why bisexuals don't get any respect. It's because of stupid comments like this.

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written by tirone , July 10, 2012

ok do yo

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