UPDATE: Houston Chronicle Writer Tells Parents To Stop Accepting Their Gay Kids PDF Print
Written by Jonathan Higbee | Friday, 04 November 2011
Tags: kathleen mckinley, houston chronicle, idiots, homophobia, editorials, columns, parents, accepting, gay youth, lgbt, teens, bullied, closet

mckinley

Updated Friday, 2:15 p.m. (EST)

Kathleen McKinley, a columnist at the Houston Chronicle, has responded to the storm of controversy that has brewed after she penned an editorial blaming the parents of victims of anti-gay bullying for their children's harassment. Details follow.

Writes McKinley in the shockingly ignorant and homophobic story:

Am I mad at the hateful mean kids who bully and tease these teens? You bet I am. But I am just as mad at the idiotic adults who force our adult views on kids, and pull them into our adult world long before they are mature enough to handle it. The 13 year old that killed himself told his Mom he was gay. She said she already knew and hugged him. She said she just assumed that everyone else would be as accepting as she was.

Really? Have you been around teenagers? They are cruel and mean. They constantly tear each other down. It was bad when I was a teenager, I can only imagine what it’s like now. No, I don’t have to imagine how it is now. This is how it is now. Why in the world would you give teenagers a REASON to tease you? Oh, yes, because the adults tell you to embrace who you are, the only problem? Kids that age are just discovering who they are. They really have no idea yet.  The adults tell you to “come out,” when what we should be telling them is that sex is for adults, and there is plenty of time for figuring out that later.

I always taught my kids to stand up to any bullies they see bullying anyone. I tell them them to imagine Christ standing there. What would he want you to do? Would he want you to step in? Of course he would. I have always taught my kids to be kind to everyone, especially those who seem to have no friends or seem different. I tell them what a simple hello or smile will mean to a kid who is lonely. But for every parent like myself, there are ten parents who either don’t care, or don’t think to teach their kids that. That is when human nature takes over. It’s “Lord of the Flies” in Junior High and High School. Have all the adults forgotten that??

When my 24 yr old was in high school, they started a gay club. But the time my 22 yr old got there, it was gone. The kids had had enough with the teasing and jokes. Do I wish it were different? Sure. I also wish trees were made of chocolate, but that will never happen either.

It seems McKinley is so blinded with her confusion that she doesn't get that realizing one's true self has nothing to do with sex, especially when it comes to LGBT preteens. McKinley blatantly overlooks the fact that it's homophobic dolts like her who are the problem and not educated, accepting parents.

Gawker, however, did not overlook her ignorance, and picked up on the story early Friday to call out McKinley in its trademark irreverent tone.

McKinley really gets inside the head of teens bullies here, I think, who typically wait patiently for some kind of open acknowledgment on the part of a vulnerable classmate as to what their identified sexual orientation is before going in for the kill. Also, not enough can be said about asking teenagers to not think about sex, ever. It's a very underrated and plausible strategy! So smarten up, parents! The next time your kid comes to you and admits to having feelings of same-sex attraction, don't even think about accepting them or hugging them or telling them whoever they are is perfectly fine with you and you'll love them unconditionally regardless.

Well, McKinely, who is undoubtedly ecstatic about all the attention her column is receiving, has responded to Gawker's post with a "clarification" that doesn't much help her case.

First off, I am not telling a kid to “stay in the closet.” A 13 year old doesn’t even know what the closet is! That is NOT saying they are not aware they are gay. That is saying they are not aware of the consequences of coming out or how they will handle it all themselves. Once again, this is adults projecting their world on kids. Secondly, I am not in any way blaming the parents. The parents were in uncharted waters and just did the best they could.

Hold on, McKinley: didn't you title this piece "Are Adults Also To Blame For Gay Teen Suicides? Yes."?

You can read the entire infuriating essay here.

 

 


Comments (20)Add Comment
0
...
written by Jacob from Chicago, November 04, 2011
It is co perfectly clear that she does not get that being gay or straight is NOT just about SEX. No adult told me to like Ricky, my next door neighbor in third grade. No adult told me not to like Carlee, the 6th grade girl who wanted to "go out with me."

And to bring the spotlight to other kids who are being bullied..GLBT kids are not the only ones killing themselves because of bullies. Are you going to tell us now Mrs. Houston Chronicle that parents who have children that are overweight or may not be as good at sports as other kids....are not supposed to accept their kids wither... or give them hugs and love them. It's times like this and people like this, that make me what to just SPIT.
0
...
written by JR P, November 04, 2011
She is so stupid and shame on Houston Chronicle for giving this stupid woman a platform.
0
...
written by fiercy love, November 04, 2011
24 and 22 in high school?
cjones
...
written by cjones, November 04, 2011
Is there a link where we can write in to the Houston Chronicle to voice our concern/opinion?
0
...
written by Troyboy711milw, November 04, 2011
You are a sorry excuse for a human being. Who are you to judge? I wish my parents embraced me being gay. Then I would have been able to come home from school and we could talk about it. How dare you take the responsibility in telling parents what to do with their kids. you will be judged all the days of your life for this. Stupid, arrogant, misinformed, and a hater.
0
...
written by Cody_CypressTX, November 04, 2011
Wow your full story is just.... completely biased. You know I dont think youll ever understand the pain of people hating you for your sexual choice. And Im pretty sure the parents dont have anything to do with their child's sexuality. Its their feelings, their wants, and their concerns too. Yes it might not be a good idea to come out in highschool but hiding who you are is alot more painful. I had been dealing with this since like 5th grade. A lot of the problems with bullying is the parents that set that example for them. And these clubs are for kids that have been bullied to vent. Unlike you I knew that 13 year old that took his life and it was a lot more than coming out that made him do it. I went to school with him and i knew his brother and both were made targets for being a little different than the rest of the kids. It just so happened that the younger of the two was gay on top of the other things he got bullied for. And another thing, our choice in sexuality isnt just about sex, sure we may be attracted to the male physique or female physique but does that have anything to do with who the person is on the inside? NOPE! And you say it shouldnt be worried about at this time, but running and hiding from your feelings is going to make things a lot worse than being true to yourself. Whether you like it or not all these feelings to these kids are real, and yes most kids dont understand and deal with things differently but that's why there's people like me. To tell them that things WILL get better, it might not happen anytime soon or when you want it but its up to the person to make the best of any situation. To all the gay lesbian bi straight or transexual kids out there its okay to be the way you are, theres nothing that says you cant just people like this who try to put it off as something thats not important. Its your life live it how you want, but if anyone is bothering you because of this dont keep it bottled up. Talk to someone whos willing to help. Happiness is a lot better than your pain. Dont listen to people like this ignorant homophobic moron, talk to someone who understands
0
...
written by Jstrelax, November 04, 2011
I just have a ? Kathleen... Whether a child tells their parent they are gay or straight why do you bring it to sex? This should be proof to all of you "homophobes" that being gay is not a choice but a feeling of who you are. So instead of bashing parents for NOT hating we should encourage abstenance in our youth. I guess if your child told you they were gay you would give up on them huh? I would like to meet your god who taught you to hate..
0
...
written by ME, November 04, 2011
She tries to make it sound like its compassionate to tell your kids to deny who they are to "fit in." When she tells her kids to stand up to bullies, if the bullies are the popular kids, won't her own kids be bullied in return? Her logic is the logic of a popular kid from high school who was only popular because she was shallow and didn't figure out who she was until... well... I think she still doesn't know. And if this is who she is, she really needs to start digging deeper again. I do agree with her in the sense that it makes no sense to give somebody a reason to pick on you, but to deny who you are is too big of a sacrifice.
0
...
written by William Bloomquist, November 04, 2011
Perhaps if the "writer" did a modicum of actual research into the development of LGBT kids she would have found that these feelings first appear generally at around age 5-6 and are quite pronounced usually by age 8.
We become cognizant of self much earlier than most adults would care to believe or accept.
If you personally do not understand yourself as LGBT, then so be it. You do NOT have the right and you certainly are not granted the responsibility to try to dissuade these kids from being who they are and how they define themselves.
0
...
written by n2singing, November 04, 2011
My hope is that she will bear no more children. It's obvious she doesn't know how to raise them
MWood
...
written by D. Verone, November 04, 2011
She kind of has a point. She just wasn't so eloquent or PC in saying it.
MWood
...
written by Drummond, November 04, 2011
Can this woman be any more clueless? Sexuality in this instance has nothing to with sex, meaning the sexual act. It's about emotions and feeling a certain way. Kids need guidance not edicts.
0
...
written by JR P, November 04, 2011
And what point is that @D.Verone? Her stupidity or homophobia masking as concern? Are you kidding me?
0
...
written by soldierboy, November 04, 2011
OMG -- this bitch really thinks she was doing us a favor by writing this!
0
...
written by Oh My, November 04, 2011
No, this bitch wants to get people to visit their site.
0
...
written by Serefin 84, November 04, 2011
@Oh My.... i think its a bit of both
0
...
written by A. Cyclei, November 04, 2011
I see what she's trying to say, she's just not saying it the right way. Its very likely she wanted to mention many points, one of those being that she wants her kids' friends to find out who her son was before finding out who he likes. She's obviously not advocating kids to stay in the closet as per what was quoted, but instead she's suggesting not everyone will be as accepting as parents are. My intake on this is that she wants people to prioritize the order in which things occur: Make friends first based on compatibility then mention your preferrances. She doesn't want her kids or others to open theselves too early and lose the possibility to make those friends. Its a conundrum too however because its not necessarily "hiding" what she's suggesting but rather I think she's trying to mention to take baby steps out of the closet instead of one big giant leap especially when it comes to meeting new people at that age. Not to pick a side or anything, politically, this is what I believe she's trying to say.
0
...
written by M. Reds, November 04, 2011
So, A. Cyclei: You're saying Kathleen is simply a victim of being really, really shitty at her job as a writer?
0
...
written by A. Cyclei, November 04, 2011
Yes lol. A perspective to proofread her article would have made all the difference. Her rebuttal didn't help her case either. Can't help her there, she's on her own now.
0
...
written by Zoe, November 04, 2011
I would have thought I was reading the blog of some ignorant housewife if it hadn't told me that the author writes for a newspaper. The grammar is terrible, for a writer. The attempt to make a point is futile. She jumps around the topic without making logical connections (segways) from one point to another. I think she bit off more than she could chew by taking on this topic. If she gets paid to be a writer, she should be fired. I guess, the editor should be fired as well. What a ridiculous ploy to raise your ratings. Shameful!

Write comment

busy
 
 
 
© 2009 Instinct Magazine  |  All Rights Reserved  |  Web Site By Nathan Grimes Design