What's Your Instinct: Gay Bar The Abbey Bans Bachelorette Parties PDF Print
Written by Instinct Staff | Thursday, 24 May 2012
Tags: the abbey, west hollywood, los angeles, l.a., california, gay bars, best, world, bans, prohibits, bachelorette parties, what's your instinct

the abbey

Sometimes, on sadly unsuccessful nights, the only phallus we get shoved in our faces comes from drunk straight girls flaunting man-meat-shaped lollipops at bachelorette parties being thrown at West Hollywood's The Abbey. But the shrieking, penis-balloon-hat wearing girls will be a thing of the past now that The Abbey, often crowned the world's "best gay bar," has banned bachelorette parties.

The policy change was announced via a press release issued by The Abbey on Thursday:

“Every Friday and Saturday night, we’re flooded with requests from straight girls in penis hats who want to ogle our go-gos, dance with the gays and celebrate their pending nuptials. They are completely unaware that the people around them are legally prohibited from getting married,” said David Cooley, Founder of The Abbey.  “Over the past 22 years, The Abbey has been a place that accepts everyone, gay, straight, lesbian, transgender, bisexual and everything in between. We love our straight girlfriends and they are welcome here, just not for bachelorette parties.”
 
It has long been a policy at The Abbey to deny admission to groups in costume, including Bachelorette regalia. Bachelorette parties had previously been allowed inside if they removed their costumes. The Abbey’s 'bachelorette ban' comes on the heels of a ban on gay marriage in North Carolina and a number of other states across the South.   The Abbey encourages other gay-owned and operated establishments to institute their own bans as a sign of solidarity until marriage is legal everywhere for everyone.

What do you make of the bold move by The Abbey, Instincters? Is it fair?

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written by ColumbusJeff, May 24, 2012
I think it's great. A number of Chicago's Boystown bars have done the same thing.
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written by David T., May 24, 2012
A smart and wonderful decision. Cheers to The Abbey!
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written by Phillip923, May 24, 2012
At first I was against the exclusion of celebrating the wonderful institution of marriage, whether being celebrated by straight or gays.. After reading the press release, it now completely makes sense why the Abbey would prohibit bachelorette parties. Equality for all! .
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written by JonJon, May 24, 2012
I think it's great. I only wish the bars in Dallas would as well. Everyone is welcome to party but why come to a gay bar for that. It really gets on my last gay nerve. smilies/grin.gif
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written by Ben Mitchell, May 24, 2012
BRAVO!!!
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written by MrMon, May 24, 2012
We're not animals in a zoo for them to ogle.
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written by Kris5, May 24, 2012
Now if we could just get them to ban straight, coked out "business" men from coming in on girls nights that are supposed to be for lesbians...
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written by D..., May 24, 2012
This is amazing. I hate the bachelorette parties. I'm glad Cooley made this statement.
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written by dan_boston, May 24, 2012
They aren't banning the females...they are banning Bachelorette parties. It's a key difference and is not hypocritical in the slightest.
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written by Progressive Business, May 24, 2012
If I owned an establishment like this I would simply create a VIP Charge on parties of six or more and use those funds to pay for whatever political action I wanted. They can still come in, but if you're going to tout a civil right that's denied me and the other patrons you're going to pay a steep cover to improve the quality of life for my target demographic. And then there's the costume charge as well.

I can certainly appreciate the sentiment here, but it doesn't seem to take the high-road. I hope they have something in writing indicating exactly WHY this policy exists so that it creates understanding beyond the gay community.
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written by EFY, May 24, 2012
fantastic! if nothing else will make them realize what it feels like to experience exclusion then ban them altogether to show them first hand.
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written by Jacob Harshbarger, May 24, 2012
Personally, I agree with the reasoning behind the ban. However, putting myself the others' shoes, I see where there are feeling a pinch of unfairness. They may feel a little punished for society's lack of evolution on the subject. As I am a true advocate for the fight for equality, I feel like we will not be able to gain ground at other's expenses. Granted, it is somewhat of a flaunt and I would hope that bachelorettes and bachelors would find the compassion to empathize with our lack of enthusiasm for their celebratory traditions. I think that more communication is necessary to help evreyone be on the same page.
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written by TSS, May 24, 2012
I think it is good. They need to go to their own bars, of course strip clubs for straight woman charge a cover, and the other people in the audience are just horny middle aged women.
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written by DavidLA, May 24, 2012
I think it's a shame that the people doing this were so oblivious to how offensive this might be that it required a ban, but as someone who frequents The Abbey, I'm glad they took this step (whether it was a publicity stunt or not).

AssBackwards above clearly doesn't get it. I have very supportive female friends of gay marriage who refuse to get married until everyone can get married. While I'm not saying everyone should go to such lengths, *THAT*, sir, is acceptance and support.

Going to a gay bar to have your bachelorette because it's the trendy thing to do and so you can get wasted without getting hit on by straight guys is neither acceptance nor support. It's inconsiderate, and completely unwanted. They can have their bachelorette party at one of the other 95% of the bars in the city that cater to straight women instead of rubbing their noses in the faces of people who are banned from getting married.
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written by Bearrugsd, May 24, 2012
The owner of The Abbey made the right decision. It's not about excluding women. It's about the
bachelorettes rubbing their ability to marry in the face of the many gay men/women who are not able to enjoy the same right to marry that the bachelorettes enjoy! Using the excuse that they can get drunk and not have to worry about being hit on by straight guys is an INSULT!
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written by David B, May 24, 2012
All the Gay bars should do the same.
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written by Dani, May 24, 2012
Haha...l love it!
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