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 IT'S A DIRTY JOB…
This Southern gentleman dishes the dirty on making beautiful things grow
Company: Robert’s dirTworks; Myrtle Beach, SC
Owner: Robert Gerba
Established: 1997
Contact: 843.293.3273
Type: Landscape installation & design / Seasonal Christmas decorating
INSTINCT: How’s the weather?
ROBERT GERBA: Right now, it’s perfect. Got a little breeze goin’. It’s just right, especially after a maddening day like today. I planted this nightmare customer’s flower beds.
So what constitutes someone being a “nightmare customer”?
[Laughs] She’s one of those women who wants everything right now. Her husband’s got money, and she likes to spend it. [Laughs]
Now, I hear a bit of an accent…
Yeah, I have a little bit of one. [Laughs] Originally home is West Virginia, and when I go home everyone’s like, “Oh, you got an accent now!”
Well, do West Virginians have a bigger twang than you?
You get a little Southern drawl once you move down a bit.
How old were you when you became interested in landscaping?
Ever since I was little, I used to follow around the old people in the neighborhood to see the gardens. I started my own company in ’97. The seven years previous to that, I ran a garden center.
How did you ever come up with the name “Robert’s Dirtworks”?
Ah, I just wanted to be different.
What type of services do you offer?
We do all landscape, design, installation, irrigation and maintenance.
Does this include interior designing?
The only time we mess with interior design is during the Christmas season—we have a whole branch that does interior Christmas. Because of the climate, there aren’t too many times we can’t do outside work.
Now, I heard you’ve done some very eclectic landscaping work, one being turning 50 acres of beach into jungle. Care to explain?
There’s a company down here that does movie, TV and educational programming work with exotic animals, like the elephant in the picture.
How long has this project taken?
I’ve worked on it probably 10 out of the 11 years that I’ve been with ’em—just every other couple of weeks. Last week I was out there with 10 crew and two machines and plantin’ plants in the ground as fast as we could go.
Any good stories?
Well, 11 years ago, the folks that I was staying with were trying to hook me up with one of the girls that was working there. Oops, right? [Laughs] Well, they just didn’t have a clue. And when I was younger I was so into working—I never did the personal relationship thing—and raised strict Catholic. So I just kinda suppressed all that and concentrated on buildin’ the business. They were just tryin’ to play matchmaker.
And that’s when things blow up in people’s faces.
Exactly. [Laughs]
Ever had any on-the-job scares?
A few times. When you’re on a piece of machinery and you’re holding up a 3,000- or 4,000-pound palm tree, and the machine decides it just wants to tip over… [Laughs] You wanna push that piece of equipment to its limit, and you know it’s only supposed to pick up 3,000 pounds, but you think, Well, the tree only weighs 5,000 pounds, so if I pick it up just right… Warranties need not apply. I’ve walked off a couple of them as they started tipping over. Several times. But all you do is just get another piece of equipment.
How many people do you work with?
I have 10 employees. One girl has worked for me—she’s not a lesbian, because everyone asks—for 10 years. She’s my foreman.
Have you personally landscaped your house?
In part. Nobody else has touched it. It’s one of those things, you know, “the shoe peddler’s kids don’t have shoes.” [Laughs] I’ve lived in my house about five years, and I started landscaping it a year and a half ago. I’m so wishy-washy, I can never decide what I want to put into it.
Robert's 5 top reasons for being a landscaper
1. It’s a very rewarding job.
2. It keeps you fit.
3. It gives you a chance to be creative.
4. It’s environmentally friendly and helps improve the beauty of the community.
5. It leaves a lasting visual mark of your work and accomplishments.
Robert's 5 tips for the perfect garden
1. Pick a style similar to your interior design.
2. Research the growth habits of the plants you like. Don’t over- or underplant for your space.
3. Properly prep your soil.
4. Purchase locally grown plants, if at all possible.
5. Plant your garden in a manner that it is pleasing to your eye for maximum enjoyment.
Robert's 5 hardest landscaping projects
1. Creating natural-looking and -sounding waterfalls.
2. Creating a stream-like water garden.
3. Moving existing landscapes and trying to reuse plants.
4. Re-creating natural landscapes with container-grown stock.
5. Landscaping my own yard!!
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Know a great gay-owned business? E-mail business@instinctmag.com!
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Instinct Online 
written by north of you, sc on September 13, 2007
This guy plants his knees in the dirt pretty well also. Nice position. I'd love to feed him a three blind mice and get him drunk. That elephant looks like it would be fun to ride naked on the beach. Cute smile also robert.