Nigel Campbell's picture

Mother Stiffs Gay Server On $100 Check: 'I Do Not Agree With Your Lifestyle'

Well isn't this a gem? Apparently a New Jersey mom with two kids at a Gallop Asian Bistro had no problem shoveling $100 worth of food into her family's mouths, but she had a big problem with tipping her androgynous lesbian waitress. 

Dayna Morales, a former U.S. Marine posted this on the "Have A Gay Day" Facebook page:

Dayna writes: 

I'm a server at Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater, NJ and THIS is what happened to me today.....

The note says "sorry I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle & the way you live your life" 

NEVER in a million years did I think this would happen. Not only was it a family with two kids, but as I introduce myself and tell them my name is Dayna - the mom proceeds to look at me and say "oh I thought you were gonna say your name is Dan. You sure surprised us!"

I am THOROUGHLY offended mad pissed off and hurt that THIS is what her kids will grow up learning and that I served in the Marines to keep ignorant people like them free. Sorry lady but I don't agree with YOUR lifestyle and the way you're raising your kids but you didn't see me throwing that in your face and giving you shitty service. Keep your damn mouth shut and pray we never cross paths again.

Dayna M.

How classy of this mom to explain her reasons behind stiffing the server who just spent time on her feet putting food on your table. 

Dayna later told her Facebook supporters (and there are many): 

Thanks everyone for your support - it took very fiber of my being not to spit in their food and say something. (Not gonna lie if kids weren't there it would of been a totally different story)

Truth. 

How would you have reacted, Instincters?

 

(H/T: Gaily Grind)

Comments

Um no... I'm sorry but you are wrong. This mother chose to be hateful and hurtful towards another human being just to be rude. She could have left no tip and said nothing. She chose to be bigoted and voice herself. While she has the freedom of speech to say her opinion, to use it in this case is disgusting. The waitress, whether she is a lesbian or not, I'm sure in no way came up to her table and said, "Hi! My name is ___ and I'm a lesbian. Can I take your order?" No one does that! She is working, just as I’m sure the mother does, to support herself. The woman made a judgment call about someone she knows nothing about and then CHOSE to be disrespectful about it. The waitress didn't choose to be who she is just to make this woman uncomfortable. You comment just proves how small minded and bigoted you are!

learn the definition of "bigoted," then give your opinion.

You do realize that the server has to pay federal tax on 8 dollars because of that Bill? At least where I live you are taxed on 8% of your gross sales as "allocated tips." This means you pay taxes on every small minded or tightwad that doesn't tip.

I do not have to agree with everyone's "life style", but I do have to tip for services rendered. Why is it this ladies business how a person lives their life? Her only concerns should be: was her food served in a timely manner, were their drinks kept full, and were all of the families eating needs met. That's it. No more. How does this stupid lady know that her server was a lesbian? Did she greet the family "Hi, my name is  Dayna. I'll be your server today. Oh and by the way, I'm a lesbian."? I know many non-gay men that appear feminine and many non-lesbians that appear manly. You cannot judge a book by it's cover.

No, you do not have to tip. Tips are not required. If they were, it would be part of the meal price. Tips have to be earned.

I would expect a comment like this from a Canadian (no offense, but in my years as a server in a tourist town that hosts many Canadian vacationers, y'all are indeed the worst tippers).  On the bright side you Canadians don't tip well because you're bigots, but because you are very very poor tippers in general.

It may be that Canadian tip less because they are accustomed to our servers being paid minimum wage. That said, most of the Canadians I know tip at least 10-15%, and I tip the same when I'm in the States.
 http://www.labour.gov.bc.ca/esb/facshts/min-wage.htm
 

Maybe you're just a terrible server.

If someone brings you food and drinks then it was earned pinhead. If you can't or aren't willing to tip then don't eat out. These folks make $2.13 an hour to wait on your ungrateful asses. I agree better service deserves a better tip but you ALWAYS tip unless outright insulted by your server. Also the reason we have the tipping system is because the restaurants claim they couldn't afford to stay open if they upped the menu prices to include server wages.

If I was a waiter and this witch came into my restaurant. I would  give her and her inbred homophobic brood a nice big plate of shit sandwiches complements of the house, with a big smile from me and.... oh yes Mam no tip necessary, enjoy the complementary shit sandies, and have a great day !

I have something to say about the "witch" part. I am a witch in real life meaning I practice witchcraft. I completely take offence to you saying that this woman is being a "witch." Real witches do not act like that. In fact we are one of the kindest human beings on this earth. It hurts my feeling just as much as that woman hurt the waitress's feelings. Please learn and don't use witch as a derogatory term. It is equal to f**got in my book. Thank you. (But everything else I agree with.)

Dear witchy poo lol lighten up, lets stay on target with the real 'bitch" here lol hypersensitive much? it makes no difference to me if your a fairy princess or queen of the north pole, the word witch will always be synonymous with bitch, and that was my attempt at trying not to say bitch, I understand your frustration but in all honesty trying to defend the term WITCH its a losing battle, a line must be drawn somewhere in this hyper sensitive politically correct ridiculousness. Call me a fag and I will feed u a shit sand---witch too LOL I'm kiddingggg I kidddddddd come on don't hex me :P I love all witches they are awesome made from rain bows and unicorn dust and puppy stuff ? :P

There could be other words like evil though too

I'm wondering why you guys don't express dissatisfaction with a government that allows you to earn a mere $2.13 per hour? How many hours of work would it take for the server to afford to eat dinner at the restaurant they work at?

Why aren't business owners held accountable? Why are you paying tax on money that wasn't earned? Why is someone who earns a couple of bucks an hour needing to then pay private health insurance?

Is the notion of America being the greatest nation on earth a myth?

The minimum wage in Australia is $14/hour. If you are unemployed, our government provides roughly $1500 a fortnight in social security- plus rent assistance (for as long as you need it). The payment is higher for those with children. Healthcare is free. 

If these things are possible here- they can happen in your great country too. 

Welfare state isn't the answer. Not sure if you've been paying attention, but the welfare state and west in general is in decline.

I don't know which state you live in pay you $1500 a fortnight cos when I lived in Sydney I was getting pay $500 Max per fortnight WITH rent assistance. and the minimum wage in Australia is $11. on top of that, the population is different between two countries so you can't really get everybody free shit or have the government pay for your shit in the states. 

While off-topic, here is the reason:

If the restaurant industry began paying service staff a living wage, prices of menu items would sky-rocket 3-4 fold.  It's the (usually) standard 20% tips that servers live on.  A wretched little game?  Yes.  Sometimes a gamble?  Absolutely.  But overall it's well worth it & those who are good at their job do well, those who are exceptional oftentimes make outstanding money.  It's a flawed system for sure, but so long as most honor it, everybody's happy.  Being stiffed however, simply because of your sexual orientation is disgusting & wrong.  If one is so hate-filled as to not tip based upon that 'reason', simply ask for another server and present yourself as the bigot you are up front.  Cowardice is what that is.

I know this is "left field" but you are a really amazing writer.  Just wanted you to know ;-)

Respectfully Curious, 

Just so you know, waiters and waitresses make a ton of money, which is why we get paid 2.30 cents an hour. In a 6 hour shift, I make at least $200 in tips, which is over $30 an hour. So your argument is pointless. 

I was unfortunate enough to have to work in South Carolina after college making 2.30 an hour. In a 6 hour shift I made less than $50 in tips, which I then had to split with the bartender, hostess and dishwashers. I usually had to tip out 20-30% of my tips. Most people would tip $2-5 on a $40 check. It was very uncommon for ANY server to get even a 15% tip, most servers got 10% or less, when they got any tips at all. This was at Ruby Tuesday, not a mom-and-pop restaurant by the way. But it is in an impoverished state which is strongly anti-union and very racist (this came into play several times when the servers who were black got stuck with a redneck table). I was lucky to go home with more than $30 in a 6 hour shift. It's not the same for everybody. I never made a 'ton of money'. After paying for gas I made a bit more  than $400 a month, working 6 days a week.

You are the exception, NOT the rule. Not everyone earns that kind of money. I spent years as a server and I could have shined their shoes with my tongue and offered my blood and still not have cleared $100 for a good night. Never mind a night like a Monday or Tuesday. So, no, the argument is NOT pointless. Assuming your good fortune is indicative as everyone else's experience is, though.

That's not really the point here.  You went WAAYYYYY off topic, dude. 

This is why I am glad that I do not work with the general public on a daily basis. People are rude, inconsiderate, and judging. Your tip should be based on your service, not what you look like, how your "lifestyle" is perceived, or what gender or race you are. I however do not believe that places have a right to automatically charge a set gratuity (and I am a former bartender and waitress so I know what it is like to not get tips that are depended upon). I have been to restaurants where they do include it and saw my waitress all of 2 minutes the entire hour or more I was there. All she did was take out order, and drop off our food. We sat there for 30 minutes after we ate waiting for our bill. Only to have to ask the bus-girl for it. Needless to say she knew I was angry and gave the check to the bus-girl to give to me. I had the manager remove the gratuity, left 3 bucks on the table and gave the bus-girl what the waitress should have received as a tip.

What's really the issue is the hypocrisy of the person.  It's okay for the person whose lifestyle she disapproves to serve her and her children food, but it's not okay for her to honor her half of the transaction which is well known in American restaurants.   She's entitled to her opinion but she should not have accepted service once she knew of the server's status.  

Susan, you are the clueless one. Cheap is cheap and ignorant is ignorant. People  can use whatever excuse they want, and yes, stay the hell home if mainstream is too much for you to deal with. Nothing worse than cheap spirited and mean spirited people like yourself. You are a B with a capital C...

Have a blessed 

I have seen this done. In my eyes Dayna is a Veteran of this country.  Show respect where it's due.  

I have actually been witness to something like this before. I have seen a waiter that waited on a group of about 13 people. Was very busy and helped each and everyone of them. This gentleman was a great waiter and worked very hard for this group. At the end he brought them their check and seen the note that the person paid had left him.

It said "Because your a Gay Man their is no possible way that I can give a tip of money. What I can give is a tip of advise. Change your life style and then you get tips. God hates fags".  

When he seen this this waiter started crying. I got up and went to see what's wrong. He showed me the note.  When I seen this I was so upset and shocked.  Because of rude people out there this is wrong.  I apologized to him and went and sat back down. I told my party what happened.  What happened surprised me next.  They all started pulling out money piling it up. I went on with this as well.  Soon others around us started pitching in. By the time it was done I stopped the young man and told him that everyone here in this section apologizes and wants you to have this. The young man was shocked and thanked everyone and went to the back.  This young man ended up getting $650.00 tip from people that didn't care he was gay, but cared here is a human being and was nice. So people being a waiter or waitress is a REAL JOB. If it wasn't for our waiters or waitress we couldn't have restaurants. Thank you for everyone that works in the service field. 

Also I came out as gay because of this. I own my own business and guess what I help a lot of haters out there. They get a lecture when they start in on me. I don't tolerate hateful people. Being rude gets you nowhere in life.

This really disgusts me. I used to work in restaurants in FL and CO when the service minimum wage was $2.13 an hour so I relied heavily on tips -- as servers in the U.S. still continue to do. To not tip someone based on their "lifestyle choices" is one of the dumbest and most ignorant things I have read recently. In fact, why in 2013 and I'm still reading about stuff like this happening? It's sad that the woman who did this did it in front of her kids who will grow up and think it is appropriate behavior, unless by some miracle they don't become brainwashed by their prejudice family and learn to make their own decisions about what is right and wrong. So sad.

As someone who did work as a waiter, as tip is a tip.  You know that walking in the door to take a wait staff position that your "pay is $2.13" p/hr.  You know you raise your "pay" by giving good service.  I walked out in 1993 making on average $10 p/hr per night...most days $5 p/hr... You don't want the low wage, go to walmart or somewhere else where you are stuck at the current 7.25...

Tips should never be based on philosophical views, it should be how good was the service.  I start at a 15% tip (which is the etiquette) and either increase or decrease on the service... rudeness gets deductions, good service despite full crowd gets you 18 or more...

oh and one more thing... to all the servers who like to hock loogies, spike drinks, and do disgusting things, that is assault and not only will you loose your job, I will be happy to press charges...think on that one...

I have had poor service from some people and some really good service, I tip everyone based on the SERVICE , I tip higher based on the service,for quick, courteous, friendly people, If a server does not seem friendly with us seems rude or what ever else, I tip the basic amount, whether or not of religion, race ethnic or life style choices, I will tell you this most of our servers that we have been Gay, they are some of the BEST SERVERS EVER. If I go back to that particular restaurant we ask specifically for that server. people need to respect others no matter what,, I think we have enough going on in our world to worry about whether someone is gay, married or not, race religion. GROW UP PEOPLE. LIVE LIFE and teach people the main thing in life LOVE AND RESPECT,, it goes a long way.

I don't have much to add regarding my Disgust for this bigot. You've all said it all.  As for the tipping issue, labor laws vary from state to state. In my state we do not pay servers less.  I am the owner, and I'm fine with paying them fairly, full minimum wage. There are many states that pay as little as $2.13 per hour, assuming that the tips will bring it up to minimum wage.  Some of those people get NO paycheck after being taxed on their tips.  When I was a server, decades ago, they didn't tax tips, and so this mindset of tipping being "optional" was sort of true. Now, in EVERY state, the servers are taxed on their tips, based on sales, so this bigot not only stiffed the server, but COST her money. Absolutely unacceptable! A good server is a highly skilled job, requiring multi-tasking abilities, and a social poise that is above and beyond.  Yes, we have all seen servers who don't know what they are doing, and I assure you that they either learn, or they leave. Tipping is part of the cost of your meal. When there is a line out the door, and you punish your server because you had to wait, how is that their fault?  Do you know how many times your server just had to take rude crap from the table before you and still came over with a smile?  And it's not just about the money. At the end of the shift, when they figure out what percentage they earned, they feel good about themselves and the job they did.  It only takes one or two snotty customers to ruin their night, but they can't show it.  That extra dollar goes to their bills, rent, kids.  A server with a good income is good for the economy, too.  A server with a poor income just qualifies them for food stamps and other aid.  So those backward states that screw over tipped employees are stupid to do so. Just my two cents...

I don't have much to add regarding my Disgust for this bigot. You've all said it all.  As for the tipping issue, labor laws vary from state to state. In my state we do not pay servers less.  I am the owner, and I'm fine with paying them fairly, full minimum wage. There are many states that pay as little as $2.13 per hour, assuming that the tips will bring it up to minimum wage.  Some of those people get NO paycheck after being taxed on their tips.  When I was a server, decades ago, they didn't tax tips, and so this mindset of tipping being "optional" was sort of true. Now, in EVERY state, the servers are taxed on their tips, based on sales, so this bigot not only stiffed the server, but COST her money. Absolutely unacceptable! A good server is a highly skilled job, requiring multi-tasking abilities, and a social poise that is above and beyond.  Yes, we have all seen servers who don't know what they are doing, and I assure you that they either learn, or they leave. Tipping is part of the cost of your meal. When there is a line out the door, and you punish your server because you had to wait, how is that their fault?  Do you know how many times your server just had to take rude crap from the table before you and still came over with a smile?  And it's not just about the money. At the end of the shift, when they figure out what percentage they earned, they feel good about themselves and the job they did.  It only takes one or two snotty customers to ruin their night, but they can't show it.  That extra dollar goes to their bills, rent, kids.  A server with a good income is good for the economy, too.  A server with a poor income just qualifies them for food stamps and other aid.  So those backward states that screw over tipped employees are stupid to do so. Just my two cents...

First off I want to say Dayna, "THANK YOU" for your service to this country and your part in protecting my freedoms and the freedoms of others. Second, I am sorry you have been done this way by anyone, and for you cheap a$$ individuals who wrote anything to the point of "Tipping is a Choice" you have never worked in customer service as a Server, Waiter, or Waitress. If you have and your trying to say you don't get offended when you give excellent service and you get no tip, Take your "Pinocchio, lying a$$  comments somewhere else."  No one has a right to treat anyone this way. Dayna's comments venting, were just that venting.  She didn't do anything to their food, she merely said she felt like it, god knows I have had those moments myself dealing with a SUSAN.

This again confirms that the human race is down right disgusting!!! Dayna thank you for serving our country. You are amazing & that dirtbag will get what's coming to her. Hopefully she has a gay child.

She doesn't deserve to be lucky enough to have a gay child!

After 12 years working resturants on Disney property. I made more money than 80% of the people I served. I have also dipped my balls in many arseholes drinks. I have scrubbed kitchen floors with serveral bigots buns. I have shot snot into many that were holier than me and spent the meal telling me of this 'fact'. If you don't feel it is correct to pay someone for a service, you are a flaming prick. And I garantee you have ran into an arsehole like me once or twice in your life. If you truly stand behind comments such as, 'tipping is not mandatory' and 'get a real job'. Then you should walk in, sit at someones station (thier form of income) and start by eplaining to the server BEFORE they start, that you do not pay for things in life you can get away with for free; When no one is looking. At $2 an hour, paid by the resturant, you the guest are the true employer. If you went to work tommorrow and your boss told you that you were not getting paid for this week of work but must work or lose your job... Each and everyone of you nontippers would burst a stitch. Scumbag human beans.

This is pathetic - for those who say tipping is optional - correct tipping is truly optional, however most servers only get $2.35 per hour tips are what is to make up the difference to meet the minimum hourly wage.  This mother discriminated against this server's appearance not the quality of service or the food.  If she did not like it should could have asked for a different server.  There is no excuse for this bigotry and this person needs to eat ate home that way no one will offend her morals!

Wouldn't it have been nice if the owners of the restaurant told the mother that she and her family were no longer welcome in their establishment?

A tip is based off of good service, nothing else. Religious beliefs or lifestyle choices shouldn't be an issue and she should've minded her own business. Its a shame that in this day in age people are still so ignorant. A REAL Christian should love everyone and not be such a judgemental hyprocrite. I feel sorry that those kids will someday be a functioning part of society and with such an upbringing, I pray that they will not be as ignorant as their mom. We need less people like her and more people with compassion. Shame on her. Next time stay home and dont inflict your hateful black soul on any one else.

In my most humble option it is LOW CLASS to not tip. And even lowers class to not tip for that reason. To the ass hat above staging a tip is not mandatory obviously you are one of those low class fools who thinks they are better than customer service workers. Bitch being a waitress IS a real job. Think of it this way if there were no servers who would bring your stupid ass your food. Dayna I wish I was there. I would have spoken up in your defense. Thank you for your service to this country. Hold you head high and know that you have note class than that "Lady" ever will.

I cannot believe the ignorant people that think a server should not be tipped.  They may be correct in saying that it is not mandatory, but wait staff work HARD for that money.  Most servers make $2-something an hour, and are taxed as if they had gotten tips.  These people have obviously never humped tables to pay their bills.

And I agree with the statement Chris made... if you really want to leave zero, leave zero, but don't include a message that puts your bigotry and hatred on display, especially when the server did nothing to deserve it.  

T.I.P.S. = to insure proper service

Get over it or get a real job.  You have to take the good with the bad.  Tipping IS NOT mandatory.  It is voluntary.  The fact that this girl posted a guests check online then inclined that she would spread bodily fluids on a customers food should be grounds for termination.  You are going to get lousy tippers, Just deal with it and grow a backbone.

You sound like the type of person that would sit at home all day and wait for a "real job" and collect unemployment rather than contribute to the economy. Kudos, you're the reason why this country is in the shitter.

Susan, 

You Ma'am are an a**hole. I am not only a waitress and mother, but have earned my MBA and have chosen to be a server. Please NEVER come to St. Louis to eat... You are not welcome, oh and I'm a lesbian... 

Kindly Go F**k Yourself,

Colleen

Yes, not mandatory.  But it's good manners and decent conduct to tip because it's the norm in American society.  It's also good manners and decent conduct to hold doors for people.  Again, not mandatory, but it shows what kind of person you are when you don't do it.

Get a real job?  Do you go out to eat Susan?  Do you tip?  You're probably one of those cheap asses that don't tip and can walk out saying you're above servers and think of them as your "servant."  Let me tell you something, People vent about wanting to spit on someone's food or doing something as a matter of anger and frustration.  I am a server, not by choice but by necessity.  I have been laid off from two jobs (one I was at for 9 years) two years in a row.  Employers want individuals who have no experience and are right out of college so they can be hired at the lowest wages possible.  I have class, am educated, went for further training in attempts to obtain a job, and I have determination to get out of the serving industry.  Right now, I have to rely on a serving job. Due to the ungrateful individuals like you that come in, treat me like shit, and leave little to no tip at the end of their dining experience, no matter how much I try to make their dining experience the best it can be, I am left with nothing for working.  I go out of my way for my guests, their children, and their dining experience.  If you're not going to tip, stay the hell home.  Other people are usually waiting to be sat and will provide gratuity for the service, which servers rely on to pay bills.  I make $2.13/hour plus tips and rarely see a pay check because of taxes.  I pay for my own health insurance and am still paying college loans.  If you're going to tell someone to grow a backbone, then here's the backbone comment:  stay the hell home.

It saddens me to see people such as yourself is so out of touch and lack compassion in their life. You also missed the whole point. Your comments above are a little ignorant.

Good news, you're also a terrible excuse for a human being.

Susan, you're an idiot.  

karma's a bitch and i can't wait till it gets you :) have a great day

Eating at a restaurant is NOT mandatory either. You, susan, are the type of people that should start changing YOUR lifestyle. What she does in her personal life, is none of your damn business. Who she goes and sleeps with is NONE of your damn business. Just like the lady that refused to tip. She could've just made herself a bologna sandwich at home, but even THAT would have probably been too classy for such a scum of a person. Its a shame there are so many people like her, including you, susan.

Serving food in an eating establishment is a real job and you sound ignorant.  Who are you to say otherwise.  The fact of the matter is nobody has the right to be that rude to anyone.  If you stiff people that work their asses off for you while you sit your fat ass down and stuff your face, you are the one with a problem.  Please keep your stupid mouth shut.  I have no more time for your ignorance.

This isn't an issue of being "stiffed". This server would have never posted a check with a 0$ tip if it didn't include a little hateful note that the guest she served, you know, FOR FREE, doesn't tip BECAUSE THE SERVER IS GAY. 

Have you ever even been in a restaurant? I don't mean IN one, I mean A PART of one?

You and your ignorance belong right next to that mother and two children.

Good day.

How dare you say that serving isn't a real job. It's a real job, a real hard job. And I can't believe that anyone's sexual orientation would even affect your service. Nothing about your lifestyle could affect the way my sandwich tastes. Accepting that kind of ridiculous hate mongering is like saying it's ok. This person put their life on the line for them & all of us. They we're justifiably outraged & disgusted by this, as am I! 

Yes ,but,2 wrongs do not make a right. I can see where she would be angry, but do not let yourself stoop to there level.

There is nothing in the article that indicates the server has threatened to "spread bodily fluids on a customer's food."  You need to re-read the article.  Secondly, only low-life jerks refuse to tip.  And in this economy that may well be the only job she can find.  You impress me as being a selfish Republican.

It IS A REAL JOB. If that's how you feel, then STAY IN. Cook your own meals. Pour your own drinks. You won't be missed, because you're a lousy human being.

Hi Susan. You're an idiot and missed the point. Cheers!

It isn't just the 'stiffed' tip, it is the fact that this woman decided to go beyond stiffing a tip and write it was because of their lifestyle choices? Get a real job? Bitch please...did you miss the part where it said "I served as a MARINE!" They had a real job, defending assholes like you and this lady who don't deserve the freedoms that is given by the military members who serve/have served!

You want servers to be paid a living wage? Your $10 hamburger just became $20. Food in restaurants in the USA is cheap compared to other countries is because you basically agree to tip when you dine out. And to speak about this lady, she is a bad bad parent.

No, restaurants in the USA are not cheap. I just came back from Florence, Italy, and Barcelona, Spain, and both cities have better food for much less money in nicer restaurants. You obviously have not travelled much.

She doesnt have to tip if she doesn't want to. Why the hell would you be talking to her about your sexuality anyways? This is pathetic.

I doubt that speaking of sexuality was spoken to this woman, she was the one who said on I thought you were gonna say "Dan vs Dayna". She probably just assumed like the cunt she is.

If you READ everything about this story I think she is offended by what was said and not that she didn't leave a tip. If your going to comment on a story make sure it's about the focus of the story. If your not going to say anything nice (or relevent) don't day anything at all.

Cbjm, you're the one who is pathethic. The waitress said NOTHING about her sexuality to the mother. It was the mother who judged her, based on her appearance, and came to the conclusion that she was gay. And you're right, she didn't have to tip. She could have just left "0" and it would be just a shady customer. But the FACT she wrote and entire statement EXPLAINING why she didn't is just offensive. Just F*ck off.
 

She was judged by her appearance, she has a masculine style. Did you read the article? No one brought up sexuality except the woman looking for an excuse to discriminate.   

Sorry Dayna that this happened to you. I think the woman is a cheapskate and would not have tipped anyway. I think she is a poor excuse for a mom.

I would've told my manager and given the table to someone else...if possible. I'm not about the drama and confrontation...you wanna be a bigoted cunt? Fine, but I'm not serving you.

Regardless of reason, nobody should feel inclined to have to tip at all.  Sorry, but it's a personal choice, not a mandate (even if it is for discriminatory reasons).  Sucks and all, but it's the truth. 

I think you're missing the point here. The sever was not upset because of the lack of tip, but due to the discriminating note left on the receipt. Regardless of whether or not you agree with what you assume to be someone's lifestyle, discrimination due to that is unacceptable. If she truly felt uncomfortable due to the fact that her waitress was gay (which is sad and horrifically homophobic), it is the absolute height of disrespect to actually write that down as a reason. It actually saddens me to know that she is that ignorant and rude to think that this is acceptable behaviour.

You're an idiot. This isn't Europe. Do you not get how the system is structured? Patrons are expected to tip. If they weren't servers would make more than $2.13/hr in most places. If you don't tip it's literally like stealing from your server bc they have to tip out their support staff based on sales (what you ate) at the end of the night. Seriously horrible service is rare, and it's only cheapskates who have never served that even argue about tipping not being mandatory.

Bullshit. The only reason not to tip is poor service. Servers pay is based on tips.
 

Damn right. Waiters/Waitresses are paid shit salaries because the difference is made up by the amount of tips you make. Not tipping a server, even the bare minimum of 15%, is basically denying them the opportunity to support themselves. Sorry, but if you don't tip your server, you are beyond insulting them and thus making yourself look like a complete ass. Much like this woman did on such a disgusting reason as "not agreeing" with someones sexuality. 

Her husband was probably with his boyfriend.

Ha!

Sue the bitch

Unless the server was wearing something that indicated that she was gay, this woman based her "non-tipping" purely on how the server looked (androgynous).  My 13 year old daughter chooses to have her hair very short, in a buzz-cut because it is easier for her and minimal care is needed for it...  I assume that his woman would judge my 13 year old and disaprove of her "lifestyle" as well.....  purely on the basis that she does not have long hair.....  RIDICULOUS!

And the worst thing is that his mother is teaching her kids that it is OK to discriminate against people purely on the basis of how they look!  Poor kids to be raised by such a bigoted mother!

You know I think it is high time to start shaming these people publicly, start printing their names from their receipts!

I agree with you 100000%!

What a stupid cunt...my blood is boiling after reading that. If "it" (and "it" being that wretched bitch customer...because I don't feel it's worthy of referring to as a person or gender, nor should it be raising CHILDREN!!!) but if IT felt that strongly, then IT should have requested a new table and been miserable elsewhere. This is ridiculous and should never happen. Stay strong and have hope in people...some like IT are just a lost cause and KARMA will prevail !!! 

First of all, that word drives  me CRAZY!  Your lifestyle is something you choose...the gym, being lazy, being active, a traveler, a bookworm...etc.  Your ORIENTATION is something that is part of you and not something you "do".  Just goes to show you how truly ignorant that woman is (or anyone who uses that word for that matter).   Luckily, the internet is able to shine the spotlight on ignorance like this and hopefully she will someday become more enlightened to the reality of the world around her.

I really understand how people can be down there. I grew up in Bridgewater with my father in the late 8's and early 90's. My father was gay and everyone in the town knew. They treated us horribly. The children wouldn't be my friends they would taunt me and say horrible things about me and my father because they had heard their parents talking.

We left when I was 10 to move to Ontario. I had hoped it was better down there now, I have not been back in so long. But you know what they say, small place, small minds.

That woman is a Bitch- she's not tipping based on your lifestyle , she is tipping based on service. In Toronto if a person can't afford to tip they can't afford to eat out.

I hope the owner has the integrity to ban her from the restaurant if she is going to be rude like that.

Keep your head up. People don't change, but the more of us there are the better things will become.

That mom is wrong in so many ways I can't decide which ones to mention! Just amazing..I can't believe she thinks this was acceptable do no matter what!

If she had such a problem with your lifestyle, why did she let you serve her in the first place....she waits till the last second?? stingy B*atch!

From here on, new restaurants should automatically add 20% gratuity to every bill for the waitstaff. That'll put an end to this nonsense once and for all.
 

And if Restaurants paid waiters a decent wage, tips would be uneccesary!

I'm sad that events like this are garnering media attention because its fodder for more people who just don't want to tip to use the excuse of "moral exception".

Is there any plans to let the rest of the world i.e. all of us lot tip you instead? Set up a paypal address - she'll soon learn that karma is a b**ch. Seriously, i am so sorry that this happened to you, no one should have to put up with that.

This is cause to add an automatic 18% gratuity to every bill.  Try and weasel out of that when it's automatically included.  We have a huge number of Canadian snowbirds in FL who think it's not appropriate to leave a tip.  Guess what?  All the nice restaurants now automatically add a gratuity.  I don't care if my server is gay, straight, BI, trans or asexual as long as I get good service and I reward that.

What does this have anything to do with "Canadian snowbirds"? If anything, Canadians have more respect and courtesy to tip than most of your country. Guess what! Americans don't always tip either. 

Your Canadian snowbirds don't tip because servers in Canada are paid a living wage and tips are extra. In my province, anyway - I've heard it differs. These people don't realize that servers in the U.S. are paid garbage.

God, now you're the ignorant prick. In Canada, people tip for service.  Perhaps you should improve your service.
And yes, we do have a higher standard of living, and better spending methods - perhaps that's why we're buying the shitty Florida condos you can't afford - thanks for noticing.
 

Should have embarrassed her in front of her kids- honestly, at least they would have known early on "Something's wrong with Mom", instead of 15,000.00 in psychiatric bills later in their 20's.  There's still hope, if they are not home schooled. 

This woman is a presumptuous bitch! What does she know about your life?!
She knows that you are a server and that your name is Dayna.
She had to find justification in her narrow mind for not tipping you on a nearly $100 tab and your assumed "lifestyle" is all she could come up with.
It sucks that you didn't get paid for your time and work but wouldn't want you to be there when Karma slaps her in the face...it will happen, you know.
 

It just looks like a cheap way to avoid tipping. This is the second such note I've seen like this. I guess there's a group of cheapskates out there who need to find a way to avoid the civilized point of tipping. I hope the woman and her family got gas.

The comment about the servers name should have been the first clue, I would have reported it to management and had her moved out of my section.

So, you were wearing a big sign that said you were gay? Wow! Most employers frown on that. How else would she know? Just by your hair style. That musty mean that every long haired guy is gay to...

I hope this goes viral , so people can see what pos that we deal with every day.  This ignorant woman needs to understand that if she agrees or not we are still people that should have the same rights as them. The government needs to make it clear and stop living in the 1920's. When we are all treated the same with the same rights people may still have their own opinion on it, but they will know that we have the support by the majority. Hate breeds hate!!!

I'd be on the lookout for her to come in again and believe me, she'd KNOW that I remembered her.

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