Nigel Campbell's picture

Mother Stiffs Gay Server On $100 Check: 'I Do Not Agree With Your Lifestyle'

Well isn't this a gem? Apparently a New Jersey mom with two kids at a Gallop Asian Bistro had no problem shoveling $100 worth of food into her family's mouths, but she had a big problem with tipping her androgynous lesbian waitress. 

Dayna Morales, a former U.S. Marine posted this on the "Have A Gay Day" Facebook page:

Dayna writes: 

I'm a server at Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater, NJ and THIS is what happened to me today.....

The note says "sorry I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle & the way you live your life" 

NEVER in a million years did I think this would happen. Not only was it a family with two kids, but as I introduce myself and tell them my name is Dayna - the mom proceeds to look at me and say "oh I thought you were gonna say your name is Dan. You sure surprised us!"

I am THOROUGHLY offended mad pissed off and hurt that THIS is what her kids will grow up learning and that I served in the Marines to keep ignorant people like them free. Sorry lady but I don't agree with YOUR lifestyle and the way you're raising your kids but you didn't see me throwing that in your face and giving you shitty service. Keep your damn mouth shut and pray we never cross paths again.

Dayna M.

How classy of this mom to explain her reasons behind stiffing the server who just spent time on her feet putting food on your table. 

Dayna later told her Facebook supporters (and there are many): 

Thanks everyone for your support - it took very fiber of my being not to spit in their food and say something. (Not gonna lie if kids weren't there it would of been a totally different story)

Truth. 

How would you have reacted, Instincters?

 

(H/T: Gaily Grind)

Comments

There is having opinions, and then there is accepting this server's service only to have it be for nothing. If she was uncomfortable with the server, she should have asked for another at the beginning. Clearly she had that impression from the start. Servers count on those tips as income. It's not extra money. It is THE money they make. Also, it's not discrimination to call someone out for being an unacceptable human being. 

Again, you're calling the kettle black... you are the pot.

Chick fil a Make plenty of money. The also donate to "charities" that try to shrink away the gay . The watress was an individual that was doing her job . Not a huge cooperation. you chose to eat there. Theee are plenty of other places to eat

Money has nothing to do with it, and you are making up facts. stick to the topic. Hate is wrong from BOTH sides and just because this lady is Ignorant and has misplaced hatred doesn't mean she doesn't have the right to her opinion. Plus it's obvious she's not too bright she makes a redundant and ridiculous statement by saying she "doesn't agree with her lifestyle" as well as she "doesn't agree with how she lives her life" both of which are the same thing said two different ways. Personally I commend Chik Fil A for backing their beliefs and standing up for them. This is America right?

EVERYTHING Ashley stated is true.  Research the facts before you claim that others are making their's up.   The "lady" who stiffed the waitress didn't pay for services rendered.  Not eating at Chik FIl A because they support hate groups isn't hate, it's not giving money to or patronizing an establishment that uses those profits to hurt others like me.

After the racist receipt article, it kind of just seems like all of a sudden everyone is suddenly having all these things to post on the internet about there server problems. This sh!t happens everyday everywhere and not just to waiters some people actually get told to there face, why all of a sudden is it a big deal? Probably because the case with the racist comment the waitress made a lot of money off of it. Now everyone wants to do it. Just seems like you're trying to raise money honestly.

WWJD? Probably smack the stupid bitch!!!

BrianM for president.

Servers shouldn't have to rely on tips and particularly not if issues other than good service come into play. "Sorry I couldn't tip you, I don't like your hair/teeth/tattoos etc" the list could be never-ending.

It's time for American hospitality workers to organize and demand fair pay and conditions. Your employers can raise prices 10 to 20 per cent and simply tell customers the price includes tip.

Get active and organize your workplaces.

they would just replace the servers that went on strike quick as all hell with other people willing to work for tips

Ka-ching,,, and another case of major ignorance raises its head, how sad people like this are populating the world. Bring on the ignorance tax I say,,
 

I love it.  ANOTHER ignorant "Christian".  Stupid bitch.  Her kids will grow up to be monsters too.

Islam condemns homosexuality. Men are suggested they have beards to not be confused for a woman.

It's ignorant of you to assume she is a Christian, she may belong to a number of different religions. Don't react to an asshole with being an asshole

Agreed

The article never said she was Christian. Be careful, you don't want to offend someone like she did.

"Thanks everyone for your support - it took very fiber of my being not to spit in their food and say something." So, Dayna, it's pretty clear that you knew from the outset how the experience was going to play out, so why didn't you switch tables with another server? It's not okay to post people's receipts online, regardless of the circumstances.

Actually, non of this woman's information is posted here so dayna has, ONCE AGAIN, done nothing wrong!!

Of course it is okay to post messages that others felt free to write to you, even if they are on a receipt. If you write something offensive to me, I will definitely make it extremely public.
 

Why is it not okay to post the receipt? People SHOULD know how this woman acted! 

of course your comment would be anonymous,,I think name and shame is the game here. No human should have to put up with the ignorance demonstrated by the diner,,,, and the saddest thing of all is that she has had children.

I wonder if the ladies opinion would be the same if a GLBT Doctor was saving the life of her child,,, different story?? thought so,

Why should we, LGBT people, have to swap tables, shifts etc?  If (as a white person) I didn't want to serve a black person, would that be acceptable?  Didn't think so.  You serve whomever comes to your table / counter etc.  I've had to serve those I don't like (including Margaret Thatcher) - that made me a better person, not a bitter person. 

It's not OK?  By what authority?

Stupid fucking bitch should rot in Hell.

Not tipping for this reason is wrong but how did the mom know the waitress was a lesbian? If it was 'that' obvious then how is this different to flaunting your religious or political beliefs at your customers?

Also, the bill would have been paid (not not tipped) after the meal, so how could the waitress have refrained from spitting in the food? There was no food left to spit in.

Honestly, have you ever thought about how often you advertise your sexuality? Serious question, because every time you mention a significant other, even in a conversation that has nothing to do with sex, it announces who you sleep with. It's not purposeful, but if you're a woman telling me you have a boyfriend, I now know you sleep with men. A very short skirt seems to announce the sexuality of a woman just as much as a short haircut, and it's very much different than flaunting your religious or political beliefs because your religious/political beliefs involve words being spoken. 

If it makes you uncomfortable that a woman has short hair because they might be a lesbian then you have issues - and those issues aren't the fault of someone who can wear their hair however the f**k they want to. 

It would be flaunting her sexuality if she was telling this woman and her kids all about it and offering unsolicited details of her life.

Some gay people are obviously gay. Some gay people are not that obvious. But being obviously gay isn't flaunting it anymore than wearing a cross is flaunting your religion, or appearing black is flaunting your race. What you're really implying isn't that she should refrain from flaunting her sexuality, it's that she should actively hide it -- similar to never wearing your cross in public, or outright denying that you're a Christian, or covering your dark skin with makeup. Hiding one's identity is a terrible thing to *ask* someone to do, much less demand it.

I imagine she wanted to spit in the woman's food after she told her that she thought her name was Dan. That was...ridiculously rude.

*applauds* this reply was beautifully stated

It probably wasn't that she knew she was a lesbian. She probably would have assumed any women that was not dressed feminine was a lesbian.  So she was stereotyping. It just happened to be that she was correct. The woman made the assumption that how a person dresses or looks like has a correlation with which gender they prefer to be romantically intimate with.

And then for your second comment, the waitress was already insulted when she took the order. The women said to her face (and it sounds like rudely as well) that the women thought she was a guy. In polite society, even if one mistakenly takes one for a male or female when they are in fact the opposite, it is seen as a great insult or misgrievance to be told that to their face.

In the case of flaunting your religious or political beliefs to your customers: that can either be seen as talking with them about those beliefs, lecturing about those beliefs, or wearing some sort of propaganda about those beliefs. This women did none of the above, she just wore the clothes she felt comfortable in and looked a certain way. A straight woman could have dressed the same way and been insulted as well.

You beat me to it.

Why, sure, Phil.  Them there homoSEXshull always is flauting, ain't they? 

Or, alternately, there's always someone like you to run cover for blatant bigots and come up with absurd excuses for hatred.  

There are rude people out there who will use any excuse to not tip a server and be cheap and greedy.  Fact is the server's sexual choices have absolutely NOTHING to do with the service he/she performed for the customer.  There are people out there who also believe this rude person has a right to use this as a "reason" to not tip.  I was actually unfriended on Facebook by a person who believes just that and she got uppity when I explained the minimum wage for servers and how restaurants could not afford to to pay national minimum wage and keep prices low enough for the average person to dine out.  It takes all kinds.  This person was just a cheap bastard!

Why is everyone making such a big deal out of this?

This is an outrage. I'd like to say first to Dana, Thank you for your service to our country. 

 Second, being in the food service business for most of my life I have seen people leave without tipping for one reason or another. But never this. I don't care what your lifestyle is or what color your skin is, You are doing a job that is extremely demanding. The public stinks. We are here to serve you not to be your servant. I want to get paid just like the next person. I hope that this persons children will realize how wrong their mother is and make different choices as they grow older. I will pray that you Dana have a wonderful life no matter what. Know you are loved. Take care and may your next tip be double what you think it should be. Give your best service, that's all you can do. Happy Holidays to you.

Is the mother obligated to agree with her lifestyle? Her money her choice. Definitely offensive but she's not the only one. The US govt doesn't agree either so maybe you should start there.

The US Government recognizes her "lifestyle" and thinks it's just marvelous.  Now you, or your backwater state, may not.  But, then again, you're the sort of person who thinks that orientation is a "lifestyle" so I'm not sure why we should care what you think.

Lol, I don't live in a state. I'm Canadian and same-sex marriage is recognized here. I have zero issues with it either. Sorry. Good luck getting your people to the 21st century though.

Yes her money her choice but that just left the server dayna to pay to serve those ignorant people. she has to tip out bartenders bussers and pay taxes on that $93.00 tab. So if she did her job correctly and gave proper service she should be tipped for it. Servers make $4.00 an hour and for that woman to make that server pay to be insulted is just wrong, and you are too got agreeing that that ok..,

$4.00 an hour? Jesus christ that would have been wonderful. 6 years ago I was working at Ruby Tuesday for a pissant $2.30 an hour. It was literally the worst job I've ever had, mostly because of customers like this, who would order food and then send it back "because it wasn't what they expected" or they "didn't like the taste". I had a guy order and drink two beers then refuse to pay "because they weren't cold". I would come home from a 7-hour shift with $23 in my pocket, didn't even pay for gas. Restaurant work in a right-to-work state (read: Anti-union) is absolute hell.

Notice she totally ignored the survey portion of the receipt, which is the section that outlines the areas that should ACTUALLY be considered when tipping. C'mon lady, no one asked you if you "agree" with your judgment of this man, which may or may not have been accurate.  Makes me sick. 

I like to say bad words. So, sorry about it but what a damn bitch. Why did she have the waitress serve them in the first place? So, she accepts the waitress lifestyle to serve her, but not to tip her? Lol what a dumb c***

I would love to give you a tip for having to deal with such a homophobic jerkwad. If anyone deserves one it's you. If you have a paypal, please post it so I can send it! 

The worst part is that this woman jumped to such a conclusion based on the server's appearance. I highly doubt she said, "Welcome to Gallop. My name is Dayna, and I'll be your homosexual waitress tonight."

LMAO Loving this response and I was thinking along similar lines.

Lifestyle has no relation to service or the tip amount.  She robbed him because he is gay.  I disapprove of bigots, therefore I should burglarize their homes and leave a note explaining it was because I disapprove of bigotry.

This made me livid. It was rude enough that the person didnt leave a tip, but to leave a hurtful message as well? She had no intention of sharing her opinion.. the only reason anyone says stuff like that is to hurt feelings, and that was her sole intention.

Im gay myself, and it hurts me to see when people are mean to others just because of their sexual prefference.

I don't agree with her at all, but the same freedom that allows the server to be a lesbian also allows for the mother to be a... rude, woman. If you can't accept that than you're just as bigoted. 

The 2 scenarios are nowhere close to being similar where you can say that. so the server is a bigot for not liking the ignorant comment that was made towards her? That is absolutely ridiculous!

It's not "freedom" that allows the server to be a lesbian so much as it is biology.

Wrong. No freedom "allows" her to be a lesbian, because it's not something you can/have to be allowed to do. You simply are a lesbian or not. Just like you're either gay, or not, or bi or not, etc. Furthermore, while the mother has the right to her opinion, that does not translate to allowing her to be a bitch. She should have tipped her.

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