Nigel Campbell's picture

Mother Stiffs Gay Server On $100 Check: 'I Do Not Agree With Your Lifestyle'

Well isn't this a gem? Apparently a New Jersey mom with two kids at a Gallop Asian Bistro had no problem shoveling $100 worth of food into her family's mouths, but she had a big problem with tipping her androgynous lesbian waitress. 

Dayna Morales, a former U.S. Marine posted this on the "Have A Gay Day" Facebook page:

Dayna writes: 

I'm a server at Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater, NJ and THIS is what happened to me today.....

The note says "sorry I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle & the way you live your life" 

NEVER in a million years did I think this would happen. Not only was it a family with two kids, but as I introduce myself and tell them my name is Dayna - the mom proceeds to look at me and say "oh I thought you were gonna say your name is Dan. You sure surprised us!"

I am THOROUGHLY offended mad pissed off and hurt that THIS is what her kids will grow up learning and that I served in the Marines to keep ignorant people like them free. Sorry lady but I don't agree with YOUR lifestyle and the way you're raising your kids but you didn't see me throwing that in your face and giving you shitty service. Keep your damn mouth shut and pray we never cross paths again.

Dayna M.

How classy of this mom to explain her reasons behind stiffing the server who just spent time on her feet putting food on your table. 

Dayna later told her Facebook supporters (and there are many): 

Thanks everyone for your support - it took very fiber of my being not to spit in their food and say something. (Not gonna lie if kids weren't there it would of been a totally different story)

Truth. 

How would you have reacted, Instincters?

 

(H/T: Gaily Grind)

Comments

The story turns out to have been a hoax, we learnt today.

How did this customer know anything at all about this server's "lifestyle", unless the server volunteered superfluous information?  What makes the server think that the comments about "lifestyle" refer to her sex life, if she didn't say anything about her sex life?

Exactly!

Too many gays flaunt their sexuality, begging for attention and controversy.

Be yourselves, and stop making trouble for yourselves!!

How did this customer know this server was gay?

I think it is sickening the way a lot of gays flaunt there sexuality in others way. Be yourself, and stop acting like this. We want to be normal, not looked at as drama.

Ok so i didnt read all the comments, dont have time for that. But i will say a few things. That was total bullshit. If that lady really did that i would have been pissed. I get people who have made gay jokes or comments (mostly people who are now my friends or i know) and i have to set them straight. I have also gotten people asking if im a girl or boy (girl) because of my short hair and body type. (I am training to become a Marine). If i ever recived something like that while the person was still there yes i would sure as hell say something. If i would tell my boss or not i dont know as he really doesnt speak english well. For that one bitches comment about this all being crap, well maybe it is. But would you believe it more if some guy said it? And yes Marines know how to control them selfs, but we all part control part aggresion. We are taught the blance in boot camp. This does not mean that we arent human an dont get pissed off. If someone said that to you how would you of reacted? Marines are called baby killers and many other things. Ive had one woman tell me she hopes i die even before becoming a Marine. Just know that we do die, for you people, and when you say things like that you pretty much spit one every family who has lost someone in combat, Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines all the branches. But as a future Marine i say this: Every day we may die, but it will always be Semper Fi! (Always faithfull) HOORAW!!

Woah Otto show me where I have to "accept" others? Never said anything about "not liking" a person; but I do not accept their lifestyle...very different "do not condemn the person, condemn the act". Hey for shits and grins lets take religion out of the equation since the mere mention of God has become so offensive to people these days. For argument sake lets approach it from a scientific angle, anatomically speaking does a lock and a lock or a key and a key?

Are you asking if a lock locks a lock? And if a key keys a key? Or if a lock fits a lock and if a key fits a key? Sorry, your last sentence is a bit weird, I think I understand what you are saying though.

yes

People have the right to say what they want or believe what they want as long as it does not hurt anyone. Even if it is asinine or tacky. For me, the whole waitress story screams B$. Why didn't she say anything to her boss/manager/lead when supposedly the patron first insulted her? You have to report that. Then this woman says she would have spit in her food if kids were not there. is she not a marine? She has no self control or dignity when she is insulted? She cannot handle it? It all screams B$.

Marine or not we are still human, how would you have reacted to something like that. If you think nothing effects us then you are a stupid bitch.

Interesting, you condemn this mother for insulting the waitress, but you then turn around and insult me. Are you a bitchphobe? Stupidphobe? Why is it ok for you to insult others? Interesting, the hypocrisy you display.

LOL! Future Marine just got put in their place! Love it. It boggles the mind that people scream how insulting slang words are then, go ahead and insult others, like it is their right, their privilege. Ridiculous. Good Post!

Management has no spine when it comes to guests.. You think that a manager is going to confront a paying patron so all that patron has to do is call corporate and he gets fired? You obviously have never worked in the service industry.. 

As for the spitting comment...That lady had no problem "spitting" in her face about her sexuality, but she had no balls to say it to her face. Do onto others right?

 She owes that girl a thank you and an I'm sorry. 

So who owes who an apology now?????? FYI, I called it.

She owes her an apology for her own beliefs? Should other countries policies and beliefs or other cultures policies and beliefs apologize to her as well? Or you? Or me? Yes, I have been a server, and I have had managers who stick up for their employees. Sure, there are a lot of bad apples, but you cannot let a few bad apples represent all restaurant managers. Also, you have to report abuse, from patrons or co-workers. FYI, do not assume you know me and you know what I have or have not done currently or in the past. This woman is a MARINE. She is supposed to be tough, level headed and rational. 

First, and most importantly, this is all from one person, one woman who says all of this. We cannot collaborate her story. It is all just her version. There is just too much uproar for others beliefs or actions. Did the woman get up and call her names? Did she threaten her? Did the mother tell her kids in front of the waitress that her lifestyle is disgusting? No. 

FYI, of course she has no balls, she is a woman. Ever here the balls/vagina joke by Betty White? Google it. According to the waitresses story, The woman blatantly said she thought her name would be Dan, not Dayna...so she said that to her face, supposedly, correct? You see, this is all heresay. 

I am a bartender.  I don't wear makeup, I have long, undyed, grey-streaked "Morticia of the Addams family" hair, and I am constantly being asked if I am either (a) gay or (b) a Pentecostal because I do not wear makeup or the fashionable short, dyed haircut expected of women my age (I am an old hippie and I still look good, I just don't wear dye or makeup).  Yes, because lesbians never wear makeup or dye their hair and also because Pentecostals just love to tend bar!  One thing I am glad that I am able to do in my business is have the bouncers boot out haters.  If your management had any chutzpah they could do the same. You did well not to stoop to her level.  

I have already responded to the stupid female and her reason for not giving Dayna a tip. This is for these other posts about tipping and taxes. Please read this, you just might learn something and YES, I do know what I am talking about.

To everyone fighting over how much a server gets paid, ASK THE MANAGER. I DID and I was told the server at the establishment I was at, gets a set amount and is EXPECTED to pick up a MINIMUM of 15% in tips at EACH and EVERY table they serve to reach the minimum wage, which in ohio is $7.25 to $7.85 and hour, for the NIGHT. Take $7.85 X 8 hrs = $62.80. If they work longer hours than it is figured with the more hours, So, say, the set amount is $2.50 an hour, (2.50 X 8 = $20), the server would have to make $42.80 in tips just to make minimum wage for that shift. That's assuming the shift is 8 hours. It could be only 6 hours. This is just an example. So, each server must count on their tips to receive a days pay. If the shift is slow, then, oh well, too bad, the server is just stuck with whatever they get unless they are super, then they MIGHT make minimum wage for the shift anyway.

I understand, if they are a poor server, they should not receive a good tip, but it is always a good idea to talk to the manager if you are displeased with the service. The server could be newly on their own (without their trainer), and needs to know the reason for your displeasure. The manager is the one best able to handle the situation.

AS FOR THE TAX QUESTION: The servers are expected to report their tips to their manager so federal, state, social security and medicare taxes can be figured and deducted from their wages just like anyone else. If this is not done, the server, like everyone else, is expected to report them on their income taxes, at which time they are figured in with the rest of the servers' wages on their w-2 and taxed at whatever tax rate they may fall into. The server must keep a tip diary of each shifts tips to be shown to the manager, should they ask, AND for the IRS, should they be audited, because of either not reporting tips or not reporting the SAME DOLLAR AMOUNT AS THE ESTABLISHMENT DID, when it filed its' report to the IRS.

I find this outrageous,i am also gay, i have suffered a lot of homophobic abuse, i have an aunt who has 'washed her hands of me' but stated "if you ever want help to come back from the dark side" I dont have a relationship with her now. You are what you are, people need to get over it. 

Dayna, you did your job! Realizing it, or not, you stand for every American citizen that doesn't fit into someone elses mold of moral society. You actually rise above the self righteous person you have allowed to have such an impact on who you are versus what you are. This person has reminded us all , thou shalt not judge for ye shall be judged. Her day IS coming, and it may not be the outcome she's expecting.

It may not be popular but I say "screw her". Her upbringing does not excuse her hatefulness. I don't have any forgiveness toward bullies of any form. I accept them for what they are--a lesson in how not to see things--but do not forgive it. Unlike sexuality, how one treats others is a choice.

My father is a bigot and most of my relatives had some kind of bias against people of other persuasions. However, even as a kid I had the reasoning to understand its stupidity. Her example may sway her children against others or it may show them that such reactions are illogical--I hope for the later.

I just have no tolerance towards those that inflict themselves upon others. As far as I'm concerned that woman owes Dayna $20 and an apology.

I agree.  It's not okay to inflict yourself upon others.  Sometimes people don't know they've badly.  It's important to set them straight.  If there were a person in my life who I hurt badly and I didn't know it . . . I would suggest that person make her feelings known to the person.  It doesn't do any good to get into a confrontation with some idiot in public.  There are times when it's okay to speak up.  I suggest when a good opportunity presents itself . . . you tell the person what they did and how you felt . . . rather than "slitting your wrists - as someone else on here suggested.  I'll bet the offender would feel really badly about what he did . .  and be very open to apologizing for it.

Well commenting on the story as it's written and not on any of my own life experiences . . . I would have been really hurt . . .  and pissed off.  No doubt about it.  My first thought is to say . . . . I probably would have done the same thing that the waitress did.  I would have kept my composure and dealt with my emotions later.  It sounds like she responded appropriately to the situation (without knowing all of the details).  She displayed self-control rather than engaging with the person.  The situation could have gotten out of control if the waitress reacted to her emotions in that moment. 

Unfortunately, I have reacted to my emotions in the past with people in situations like that.  I spoke my mind and found myself in trouble.  Afterwards I realized I should have kept my mouth shut.  It's important lesson.

Sometimes it's a good idea to pause (for like a second) before you take action in a bad situation.  "Think before you speak."  Or "Bite your tongue."  I'm not talking about being a good Christian, the bigger person, or the better person.  I just mean that it's important to respond to a situation rather than reacting to it.  A thoughtful response can keep a volatile situation from blowing up.

Don't get me wrong - I don't think that people like the one in this story should get away with crap like that.  It's wrong.  There are ways too deal effectively with ignorant people . . . ways that do not involve getting revenge. 

I had a women one time ask for another waitress, not because I'm gay but because I wore a bracelet that supported it! She saw my gay pride bracelet and asked "oh, are you gay?" And I simply replied "no ma'am but my brother is and so is my best friend, who is a host here" she immediately replied "may I speak with your manager, I don't feel comfortable as you my server because you support satan" like are you fucking serious? My bracelet says "I <3 every color of the rainbow"

I am so sorry this happened.  I am a straight female and think this woman felt she was doing what is right.  She definiitely has been misled if she feels she is following Christian beliefs....Jesus was never mean, rude or cruel to anyone.  Try not to blame any one group of people for such self righteous behavior. She can only be allowed to represent herself.

For those of you doubting the veracity of this story:

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Gay-Restaurant-Server-Stiffed-Tip-Customer-Do-Not-Agree-Lifestyle-231998211.html

I'm really shocked that people treat people so badly over assumptions. It is not anyone business of sexual orientation especially when someone is only doing his or her job! I think she was just looking for an excuse on why not to tip because she is cheap! Sorry this happened to you.

Pope Francis said it best, "who am I to judge?" I don't understand how someone's lifestyle and orientation affects the tip someone should receive for providing a service. That mother has no right to judge. The religious right get me, they feel they have every right to judge others and point fingers and push their beliefs on others but when those who do not adhere to their beliefs and judge them back, they call it religious persecution. Bravo to Dayna for publicly shaming this poor excuse for a human!

I am a gender bending school teacher. I am not androgynous since I do not present strongly as feminine or masculine. I consider it a victory when a child asks me if I am a boy or a girl, on that day I have modeled that there is more than one way to be female.

We are all role models, all the time. Every thing we do models to children. If this story is true, and the mother really did that to a person that TOLD HER she was a women by giving a female pronoun then she has modeled to her children that it is all right to be mean to people based solely on his or her gender presentation.

The wait person modeled service and honesty, the mother modeled petty meanness. 

I am a gender bending lesbian (in that I am not like feminine or masculine, so not androgynous) and I teach children. I don't talk about gender with them, I just be me without a strong gender presentation. The days when a kid asks me if I'm a  boy or a girl I count as a victory for having taught them that girls don't always look like "girls". 

Dayna, you are more of a lady than that female will ever be. I'm glad you held back, even if it was because of the children. If you had told her off, it probably would not have made any difference to her way of thinking, although you probably would have felt better at the time; but you might have gotten fired because a wrong as it is "the customer is always right" (I worked in retail and it's the same idea). Then she would have won. As it is YOU won. I know you don't know me, but I am very proud of you and hope my daughter will be as strong as you are when she comes out. She is 27 and is only out to some close family and friends right now. She was born Ryan but is calling herself Reanne. Eventually it will be official.

ok only an asshole would think someone trying. to make a living was forcing her lifestyle on anyone else If you allow a.person to serve you then you should leave a tip. somehow I think she is just cheap ass .its time to start paying people.back for their rude and ignorant behavior!

Wow what really is wrong with America is that people keep getting butt hurt over every little thing. What happened to the days of sticks and stone can brake my bones but word can never hurt me. I agree the person should have kept the comment to herself, but quit crying about everything and stop slicing your wrists over stupid things.

This sounds like something someone would say who hasn't faced discrimination. If you have faced discrimination you would understand the social problems we face in the U.S. and should understand how wrong it is not to tip someone because they are gay. What's wrong with America is the failure to respect others that are different from themselves. This story exposes a side to people that needs to be discussed so your opinion really has no grounds here. "slicing wrists" is also very ridiculous but I'm not surprised based on the rest of your commentary. This person accomplished national exposure and you achieved a shanty comment. Sometimes it's better to be quiet than be ignorant. 

I wasn't the person who made the "slicing wrists" comment.  I think I said that.  That's a lot of BS that I haven't faced discrimination.  Some people have what is called invisible disabilities. Unfortunately people see homosexuals as a target because they are visible . . . . there are many people in this world with "labels" who are also targets - who aren't as visible.  I have been in the waitress's position many times.  I have "sliced myself" over people's hurtful comments.  That's exactly why I say it isn't worth internalizing other people crap.  There are other more constructive ways to deal with discrimination.  I'm sure this person did receive national exposure for defending gay rights . . . I'll bet she went about it the right way too. I'm thinking she didn't create a scene in doing so.  Maybe I'm wrong . . . if so I apologize for offending you.  That was not my intention. 

It does not do any good to line people up and shoot them because they don't agree with us . . . or even because they hurt us.  I do believe in gay rights.  I believe that everyone should be respected and treated fairly.  Of course we need to defend ourselves.  That's not the same as going on a crazy crusade to force our beliefs on others.  It won't work.  It's been done before.  I know what the outcome would have been if the waitress had gone off on that customer.  She definitely wouldn't have gotten an apology and probably wouldn't have gotten paid either.  It could have gone too far . . . she would have ended up proven the bigots are correct in their warped thinking.  That would only give them even more power to discriminate against the gay community.  There are right ways to make change in the world and then there are other ways . . . IMHO
 

I agree with you.  It sucks.  It isn't right.  It does hurt.  We've all got crap that bothers us.  I've definitely got a few red buttons.  People have been pushing mine like crazy over the past few months.  Everyone has the these buttons.  Reacting to people's negative and hurtful comments (in the moment) only makes you feel worse.  It's like telling the offender that they are right in what the said.  "Yup.  You're right.  I agree with you.  You can tell by my reaction.  What you said obviously bother me.  It's just like giving your power away to the person.  People usually say crap like that, because they are looking for that kind of reaction.  It makes you look bad and it discredits your character.  And kind frankly . . . you've got to learn to deal with in a positive way . . because there are always going to be people like that who want to to push your buttons.

Trollolololol go find another site to scrounge on.

Sorry but I call bullshit on that one. I've never worked as a server but I know people who have worked as a server. They take a lot of crap whether it's dealing with a bunch drunk college kids who know aren't going to tip yet snap their fingers at you (because they are poor too.), to screaming kids, people hitting on you, and to the all around asshole. My friends who are servers now say it's part of the job and take it with a grain of salt. But this is out of hand. 

We, as servers, take A LOT if shit and get paid to keep our mouths shut. This woman picked on someone who she KNEW wasn't allowed to defend herself. That's a low blow. Dayna wasn't picketing for her rights in front of the table she just looked a certain way and the dumbass assumed. What if she hadn't been lesbian? Tips should have nothing to do with anything besides food and service. The bitch should've left the tip blank instead of hurling the insult on top.

This woman makes me sick to my stomach (and I have a huge stomach). To stiff a person just based on sexual orientation is absolutely despicable. Chances are pretty good she pretends to be a "Christian". Well I have something Christ did say, "Love your neighbor as yourself" Mark 12:31. " For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." Matthew 25 :35-36. Way to make Christ look worst.

She was just looking for an excuse to be a cheap bitch.  Semper fi!!

I was a server for over ten years. Its work, long hours and takes an extreme amount of patience. It is sad to see that ignorance like that still exist. I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I have have fought for gay right my whole life. I myself am not gay but I have a couple gay family members and friends. It breaks my heart when they are treated unfairly. This needs to stop!! Your personal life has nothing to do with the service you gave them and this country. I comend you for the way u hhandled yourself and with such class. Class is something this lady obviously lacked. I pray that my daughter will see the day when this type of discrimination no longer happens. We should be free to love and be loved no matter what form, man and man, woman and woman or man and woman what is iimportant is to love and be loved in return.

Just wondering... but don't you normally give the check to someone AFTER they eat? just kinda wondering how you'd form a time warp after being pissed off to jump backwards through time space to spit in their food? also a pizza delivery on average costs about 30 dollars... times that by 10 trips and that is over 300 bucks.. no imagine getting no tips (it happens)

She was pissed about the comment that the lady made when she introduced herself.

The mom opened with an insult, so something tells me she wasn't the most pleasant customer to serve.

hey sister, im a fellow marine as well, and u did good not to stoop to her level, i have dealth with many ignorants as well, all though im straight, but u did my heart good, by acting the way a marine a marine would act in front of infants, trust me i know u would have gone off on her if she wasnt with her children u would have thrown knife hands left and right, im glad the corp still lives in u, and trust me it might take time but im sure one day we will live in peace as the way we choose our lives just like God intended from the beging, i wish u the best god bless, got speed and semper fi.

"Thrown knife hands"???  Let me see if I have this right....its ok for the LBGT to shove their ideals down my throat and force me and my family to accept them....but God forbid I stand up for what I believe in, speak up,and choose not to accept them......I am the bad person! It seems to me there is a double standard here, you all can preach and lecture to me but no one else can to you.

Existing is not shoving anything at you and not accepting others who are not harming you is not okay. If you dislike people for being gay then yes you are a bad person. You are the same as a Klansman only to a much lesser extent.

Woah Otto show me where I have to "accept" others? Never said anything about "not liking" a person; but I do not accept their lifestyle...very different "do not condemn the person, condemn the act". Hey for shits and grins lets take religion out of the equation since the mere mention of God has become so offensive to people these days. For argument sake lets approach it from a scientific angle, anatomically speaking does a lock and a lock or a key and a key fit?

The waitress did not preach and lecture or shove her lifestyle down their throats, she did her job and served them almost $100 of food and was not given a tip because they assumed she was gay. The note left on the bill outright implies that they would have tipped if she hadn't been perceived as gay. So yes the customer is a bad person. She did not leave a tip, she had no proof that the waitress was gay or not, she assumed. I know many androgynous people, they are not all gay. Would it have been ok to not leave a tip if the waitress had turned out to be straight and just happened to be a masculine looking female? No of course not. What the sexual orientation of your server has to do with tipping I do not know. The only question should be, was the service good? If so leave a damn tip and keep your assumptions to yourself.

You are absolutely right.  We both what the woman SHOULD HAVE DONE.  But the fact is - she decided to behave badly.  People don't always do what we want them to do.  We don't have any control over how other people act towards us . . . nor do we have any control over their mistaken and harmful beliefs.  We can only control how we respond or react to their behavior. 

If this is the case, the women should have asked to be seated in a different station.

I presume you think yourself a Christian. If so perhaps you have heard the words: Do not judge, lest ye be judged.

Your beliefs are your own, but they should have nothing to do with the expectation of leaving a tip for service. Most servers don't get paid even the minimum wage because tips are an expected part of their wage. A 93 dollar bill should have included (at the very barest of minimums) a 10 dollar tip, but a classy person would have left at least a 20. That's as much as many servers make in up to 8 hours of work on their wage alone. I don't agree necessarily with the lifestyle of a Christian who has an ideology of meritocracy and discriminatory values, but those values are theirs and I would never dream of stiffing them on a tip because they wore a crucifix around their neck, or a star of David, or a pentagram or a swastika for God's sake, it makes no difference to me. Laborers need to be treated with a certain default level of respect and they deserve a living wage no matter what their belief system happens to encompass. I don't think anything about this woman's service included "shoving her beliefs down someone's throat."  

"Sister" I'm confused
 

Dayna  Be proud,hold your head high. There will forever be ignorant haters in this world.. Let go don't be dragged..

As a straight ally, I am offended that there are straight people like that who represent me. What a shame that she is so Chrisitian, yet has such a lack of tolerance and compassion. I can only feel sorry for her that she limits herself in life. If she really wanted to, she could find many wonderful friends in the gay community who would be able to show her what it is like to give of yourself to another person, to be compassionate, to be understanding, to love a person as a person. She seems to truly need this in her life. I feel more sorry for her than angry. She is misguided, and it is a shame that Dayna had to be the subject of her misguided view of morality.

We just need to take heart in the fact that there are more of us than of people like her. They are on the losing side of history, and this is one of their stages of grief.

Take care everyone. Love one another. Be an example to follow.

Well said Rob. I feel sad for both her and her children. She has incarcerated her mind with an ideology that is going extinct. And, she is trying to incarcerate her children with the same ideology, while she mistakenly believes that she is giving them strong moral character, when she is actually weakening them. I, too, think that is sad.

As for Dayna, you did well to not 'lose' it in front of her kids, or 'lose' it at all. Accepting her the way she is, is the only way others will learn to accept you for the way that you are as well.

Peace and love.

If people have an issue with someone being gay they should just stay home and live miserable lives; because we (gays) are everywhere. We are not just limited to the service industry either, i know lawyers,doctors, high level executives, etc. who are gay. Intolerance breeds intolerance. I believe people should be treated with respect, especially in the workplace. I have personally experienced customers having issues with my sexual orientation and attempt to make a scene. My response was "If you have an issue with me being gay, there is the door, don't come back!" I don't worry about any potential calls to "Corporate" because i know my employer has my back and doesn't tolerate that kind of behavior.

Amen Justin.....this wishy washy, touchy feely, ooooo you better watch what you say, society we live in is sad. Yes there is "freedom of speech" just be careful of what you say there may be some "group" that is going to be offended and you may find yourself in court!

Did any of you bother to learn how to spell? I agree what happened was messed up but what is worse is that almost every one of you who commented, spelled some common sense word completely wrong, seriously undermining your written presence. Learn to stand before you walk. 

Really!! You could not see beyond the grammar.

Sort of the pot calling the kettle black. First of all, your second sentence is borderline nonsensical, as "what happened" has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of it. Secondly, the comma after "commented" is misused and fractures the sentence. Thirdly, a word cannot be spelled with common sense. Words are structured combinations of letters and therefore require knowledge in order to recreate them, whereas common "sense" can be deduced by only using your senses. Fourthly, a word cannot be spelled completely wrong unless it has none of the letters of the intended word, in which case it would no longer be that word. Fifth of all, grammar and spelling cannot undermine written "presence" because nothing can undermine "presence" outside of not being present. For example, your overtly douchey presence, as annoying as it may be, doesn't make you less present. Unfortunately. Words were created so we could communicate effectively and organize. They were born out of necessity and aided in teamwork and community, allowing man to band together and against predators and other tribes. Using your words to attack others that you agree with is actually a truer bastardization of language than misspelt words. Learn to stand before you walk. 

Thanks "Randy Righteous" for the grammar lesson ;)

language is dynamic and ever-changing, and on the Internet communication can be successful whether or not words are spelled "correctly". A proper spelling lexicon does not a successful communication make.

Your post is ad hominem​ in that is attacks the speaker (poster) and not the argument being made. Stick that in your cookie jar :)

STFU!! Grammar police.

who gives a shit about grammar. i am the worst speller and i will admit it to anyone because i could care less. but just because someone cant spell or put in proper punctuation does mean someones opinion is not valid. look at the big picture. 

oops sorry grammar police doesn't****

I would have cut her throat and poisoned her kids

You are an a**clown

Just for her stupidity I hope both her kids turn out gay.dont let it get to honey some people can jus be down right ugly.

This has been around for a few months now in various forms. I suspect it's apocryphal.

Go on Ellen she'll do something about this like that last waitress lol who ever here said it was saving this waiter money not getting tipped is fucking stupid.

Why did you blur out her name i wanna find this dumb cunt

Nice...and do what to her?
 

Would'nt it be so great if this woman got home and her husband tells her that he wants a divorce because he is gay..

This is a terrible thing. Tips are not mandatory and that's just the way it is. This mother is a horrific example because she brings sexuality into her tipping. Im a server as well and one thing I have learned in the many years in the business is that sometimes people stiff you and there is nothing you can do about it except shake it off. Another thing I have learned is that it is highly unprofessional to post pictures of receipts for whatever reason. So your sexuality is different from hers. So what? That's the way you are and you sound like you have a great support system. Just shake things like this off. They shouldn't bring you down because you're stronger than that. 

I honestly think the customer should have kept her comments to herself- both those spoken, and written. Tip if you feel like it, or don't, but have a little decency to not discriminate against someone for something they DID NOT CHOOSE (ie. Sexuality), especially in front of your children. No need to ass the hate on to another generation.
 

"Ass the hate"??
 

Tipping is supposed to be based  on quality of service. Your lifestyle is no one's damn business period! 

What that woman did to that waitress was totally rude and uncalled for. The waitress was just doing her job. There was no mention of the waitress giving poor service. Refusing to tip because of someone's sexuality is the same as refusing to tip because of their race or religion - it's discriminating against a person because of something totally irrelevant to their ability to do their job.

Honestly I never thought someone can be so rude and ignorant!!! Not to mention stupid people with their stupid comments like that idiot named "Dee"... Too bad! How can someone be so poor??  It's so sad... I feel sorry for their kids to have such an asshole mother... That's so depressing...it's disgusting!!!

Tips are not manditory, while I tip on performance, it is at the sole disgression of the patron. People are allowed their opinions and reactions, it's the beauty of a free nation. If you disagree, fantastic, that's part of a free nation too. I'm so tired of everyone thinking that everyone needs to think their way. You live in america, man up and learn to be disappointed and hurt sometimes. The whole pussification of this country is from stupid stories like this. You're gay, great! Someone totally within their rights disagrees, so what. Not everyone likes me or the work I do but I still live my life. People are too damn sensative these days.

People like you don't get it. This is purely about respect. Tips aren't mandatory but to base a tip off of someone's sexual orientation is not only irrelevant, it's downright disrespectful. It's the same if your boss told you that you're getting your holiday bonus because you walk funny. What does that have to do with your job? NOTHING and that's exactly what's going on here.

Amen Justin.....this wishy washy, touchy feely, ooooo you better watch what you say, society we live in is sad. Yes there is "freedom of speech" just be careful of what you say there may be some "group" that is going to be offended and you may find yourself in court!

It has nothing to do with being over sensitive, and everything to do with evolution, which obviously hasn't reached you yet, not being sensitive, that comment shouldn't bother you....right?! this woman's lesson of intolerance, will be passed down to her children, my parents raised me to respect people on the basis of how they treat me, respect earns respect...etc. Would you have the same opinion of a woman refusing to sit on a bus, because there are black people on it, or refusing eat at the same lunch counter with them, I'd hope not, to teach your child this lesson of intolerance, in public, is reprehensible, obviously the service was exceptional for her to comment that the only reasons there is no tip, is because of the waitresses sexual orientation, which is not only a bigoted, un educated thing to do, it is a slap in the face to all the other servers, who often times have to split tips at the end of the shift, please step out of yourself for minute, and put yourself in that waitresses shoes, a $93 tab, means that she worked her ass off, you'd be mortified put in the same situation, and if you weren't, your a better person than the rest of us! Kudos! 

If someone won't tip their server for no reason other than their sexual preference, they shouldn't be dining out. In a day and age when many servers are gay, this is not acceptable. I'm thinking someone is just a cheap ass and looking for a way to get out of tipping. While tipping isn't mandatory, it is impossible for a server to live on the hourly wage they make. I started as a server 20+ years ago, and the minimum wage for servers back then was $2.13 an hour and guess what, that's what it still is in 2013. So yeah, tips SHOULD be mandatory and anyone who doesn't tip is a complete moron.

I do wonder though how Dayna had to refrain from spitting in her food, when the check normally isn't paid until the end of the meal, after everyone is done eating. 

she already mentioned that the lady had already offended her when she introduced herself at the table. She told her that her name what Dayna and the guest said  something along the lines of "I thought you were going to tell me your name was Dan..."

As a server, I made $3.85 an hour.  Its no where near enough to live off of.  Servers live off of their tips, end of story.  Now, I would understand if the guest had left a bad tip, or no tip because the server had messed up somehow, but the fact that she stiffed the server because of their sexual preference is just disgusting.  That server is probably struggling to pay bills and survive off their shitty wage.  I don't care if that person disagrees with my sexual orientation, it's within their rights, but they don't need to be a douche about it either.

I know what you're saying.  I'm sensitive to poor spelling -- that telltale sign of poor education.   Damn this pussification of our society for making me so sensitive!!  It's Obummer's fault!  

Funny how you went right to obama, was that mentioned anywhere in my posts? Nope, you're just reaching and doing the standard liberal redirection. Shame on you!

From my experience, Justin, people who use the phrase "liberal redirection" also use "Obummer" -- so thanks for validating my initial response. You're a doll.   And btw, "liberal redirection" is just a term conservatives use when they're confused by a non-conservative with much broader intelligence:

 "Hunh....what?!  I don't understand.  Damn them and their 'liberal redirection' !!   Foiled again!"  
 
As for spelling, it's a symbol of your level of education.  If you "truely" don't spell correctly, then no one will take your argument seriously because no one has faith in your level of education.  If I'm being perceived as being a snob by you, then it's because you don't understand this concept.  Nothing against you personally:  I just don't have any faith in an argument postulated by someone who can't type basic correct English.  Here's a hint: when you see the red scribble line beneath one of your words, it is spelled incorrectly.   Your thoughts are rudimentary at best and destructive at worst.  If you want to be taken seriously and you don't have a high level of education (as the level you exhibit), please do yourself (and us) a favor and use some sort of Spell Check before posting.  Otherwise you'll be dropped into that large growing pot of dullard conservatives, only to fester in your own lack of intellectual merit.  By the way, you were looking for 'censure' and not sensor.  That one made me laugh with a chortle.  

I do agree that this example of a real world situation is total crap, I still have to stand up for the patrons ignorance. My horrible spelling aside, there is no need to attack me. The service should be rewarded (we're one of the few countries that do this) I love and heavily tip my servers for a good job. However, in a truely free country, the patron is still allowed their opinion even if the majority disagree with how it was presented. I do believe it is wrong to make this kind of decision based on sexual preference but the patron still has the right. Stop focusing on my poor spelling and look at the actual situation. The day we can't speak freely, regardless of the situation, is a sad day. I'll take the new world but not if I'm only allowed to speak what you want. We have an amazing country because people are allowed to speak up on both sides. Again, morally I think the patron is wrong. Constitutionally, they have every right and I support it. In power the people with better morals, don't sensor them.

Can I ask you a serious question?  How many countries have you traveled?  I ask this because you seem to want to educate other people in your posts, yet you come across as not being too worldly.  You act like you have foreknowledge of something but then post something that is absolutely fallacious.  

Here you say we're one of the few countries who do this (tipping the server).  WRONG.  Tipping depends on the customs of the country and we are not in the minority in tipping for dinner service. In Canada, tipping is 15-20%.  Mexico it is 10-15%.  Peru is 10% standard unless the restaurant is family owned.  Argentina is 15%.  Chile is 15%  Germany and Belgium is a few extra Euros if you enjoyed the service.  Sweden is 10-15% for dinner.  I could go on and on.  Get the drift?  I've been to over 50 countries so let me take this opportunity to fully educate you.  

Why do the uneducated feel a burning need to "educate" the rest of us...especially when they don't have any real knowledge themselves?  It must be a fear of not having control of a situation.  Trust me: get some education and this will fall by the wayside.

Can I ask you a serious question?  How many countries have you traveled?  I ask this because you seem to want to educate other people in your posts, yet you come across as not being too worldly.  You act like you have foreknowledge of something but then post something that is absolutely fallacious.  

Here you say we're one of the few countries who do this (tipping the server).  WRONG.  Tipping depends on the customs of the country and we are not in the minority in tipping for dinner service. In Canada, tipping is 15-20%.  Mexico it is 10-15%.  Peru is 10% standard unless the restaurant is family owned.  Argentina is 15%.  Chile is 15%  Germany and Belgium is a few extra Euros if you enjoyed the service.  Sweden is 10-15% for dinner.  I could go on and on.  Get the drift?  I've been to over 50 countries so let me take this opportunity to fully educate you.  

Why do the uneducated feel a burning need to "educate" the rest of us...especially when they don't have any real knowledge themselves?  It must be a fear of not having control of a situation.  Trust me: get some education and this will fall by the wayside.

The only "Obummer" around here are the ignorant fools who parrot such disrespectful comments about our President and think themselves clever.  So sorry, sucks to be you if you have a problem with tolerance.  Welcome to the new world.

Interesting how people are so lacking in courtesy and manners...I was taught better. As for your comment, I agree tips are not mandatory, and is up to the discretion of the patron. It also has to do with how you were treated as a customer and the food. However, a bill for dinner is no time to be either rude or expressing opinions on lifestyles. Being stiffed is being stiffed, and service is service no matter if it is a white redneck or a gay male, female or trangender that is serving you. It is called courtesy and manners, something you apparently are lacking, as well as spelling skills...ie, manditory and disgression...

You're right, my spelling is not on par. Don't use the lack of my typing on a phone change the facts. I was brought up to be very accepting by my multicultural and gay uncle. Way to make a judgement with no facts. You, are part of thd problem. You have nothing to actually say but try to cut me down with uneducated guessing. I've been a server and have many gay friends and relatives. People are allowed their opinions, on a receipt or not.

Your just a douche bag. That is all.

Perhaps I should also point out your spelling and grammar, nah, not worth it.

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