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When’s The Best Time To Have A Threesome?

When’s The Best Time To Have A Threesome?

Is There A Better Way To Be More Open?

#InstinctAfterDark. Per usual, I’m here to beg a naughty question since most of us are probably in our pajamas or less scrambling the internet to find our bedtime story. Kind of weird how we’ve transitioned from fairytales to creeping upon dirty blogs or like, Xtube, but I digress. I must admit I’m a serial dater which extends passed monogamy, so there always becomes a time when I ask myself: When is the best time to suggest a threesome to my partner?

But, what’s a post about a threesome without actually telling about your favorite? Mine, you ask? It was with the partner I’ve had the longest relationship with. It wasn’t his first threesome, but it was his first threesome with two other men. Ahh, college: The golden days. During a Sunday Funday, I had encountered a visiting muscle jock who couldn’t have been sexier; he was pretty much the fair-skinned version of my then olive-skinned beau. After some Facebook messaging back and forth, the third understood I was in a committed relationship, but he just wanted to have fun during his week in Chicago. After a quick talk with my then-boyfriend, we invited the third over. We all had a grand time. Afterwards, my then-boyfriend and I had a great laugh over the third’s obsession with feet. In a sense, it brought us closer – and we would continue to explore our sexuality together for many more years to come until peacefully separating.

First things first, I believe you need to have a successful conversation before getting sexually intimate with anyone. You should know if your partner has had a threesome or not before you even begin genuinely dating (if that title still even exists). If their answer is yes: Congratulations, you’ve found someone who may be able to match you sexually. You’re in for a treat – or two! You should get cozy within your new relationship, but hell, if you're both used to having more casual sex than most: Why not dive right in?

You should never have a threesome with someone in your inner circle. Are you truly wanting to open a can of worms in your social life because you couldn’t find anyone else to get off with? Think of the jealousy and stares that can come from that. I’d hate to walk into a room knowing a friend has heard my boyfriend’s orgasm. That seriously will never turn out and someone’s feelings will get harmed in the relationship or a friendship will be lost. Have your impending threesome with a complete stranger who ideally you both will never see again. A threesome is just that unless you guys would like to bind it into polygamy, which you are more than entitled to do.

If it’s going to be someone’s first threesome: Boy are you in for a whirlwind of emotions. Someone who hasn’t had a threesome before will likely need you to initiate the idea. And, let’s be real: That idea shouldn’t come up until you’ve been in a committed relationship for at least half a year. Even then, your partner may be a little scared about your budding interest in a threesome. My advice is to literally please the hell out of your partner until they trust you enough to want to experiment sexually more. Just make certain that you are the person calling the shots: You don’t want your newly sexually liberated partner to run off with someone else now, do you?

Regardless if you bring up the conversation of a threesome, you have to be prepared to lose something in the exchange of words. Do you really want to give up someone you’ve been dating to be sexually liberated? So many people are quick to want to trade in dirt for a diamond, because the Instagram filter makes it look shinier than real life.

When do you think is the best time to suggest a threesome with your partner – if any?

Writer’s Note: This is the opinion of one Instinct Contributor and does not reflect the views of Instinct Magazine itself or the fellow contributing writers.



My husband and I had our first threeway (for both of us) after being together seven years. Initially we only did them when we traveled out of town because we live in a small city and didn’t want to expose ourselves. After about two years we had a few in town with guys we never or rarely seen out in the community.  We did find one guy that we both enjoyed but continued to only get together with him for the occasional threeway. We would have a drink and then hit the bedroom for porn and fun.  We now only have them about twice a year but they continue to be an amazingly fun time for both of us. The passion that continues between us after one is amazing!

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