Nigel Campbell's picture

Dear Abby: Homophobic Couple Feels Excluded By Neighborhood...After Excluding Gay Couples a homophobic couple is shocked (SHOCKED they say!) when the residents in their new neighorbood exclude them from social activities after the bigoted couple consciously excludes their gay neighbors from a gathering in their home. 

What advice does Abby (Jeanne Phillips) have for the now lonely couple? Take a look!

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I relocated to Florida a little over a year ago and were quickly welcomed into our new neighbors’ social whirl. Two couples in the neighborhood are gay — one male, one female. While they are nice enough, my husband and I did not include them when it was our turn to host because we do not approve of their lifestyle choices. Since then, we have been excluded from neighborhood gatherings, and someone even suggested that we are bigots!

Abby, we moved here from a conservative community where people were pretty much the same. If people were “different,” they apparently kept it to themselves. While I understand the phrase “when in Rome,” I don’t feel we should have to compromise our values just to win the approval of our neighbors. But really, who is the true bigot here? Would you like to weigh in? — UNHAPPY IN TAMPA

DEAR UNHAPPY: I sure would. The first thing I’d like to say is that regardless of what you were told in your previous community, a person’s sexual orientation isn’t a “lifestyle choice.” Gay people don’t choose to be gay; they are born that way. They can’t change being gay any more than you can change being heterosexual.

I find it interesting that you are unwilling to reciprocate the hospitality of people who welcomed you and opened their homes to you, and yet you complain because you are receiving similar treatment.

From where I sit, you may have chosen the wrong place to live because it appears you would be happier in a less integrated neighborhood surrounded by people who think the way you do. But if you interact only with people like yourselves, you will have missed a chance for growth, which is what you have been offered here. Please don’t blow it.

It looks like this couple was served their just desserts. Kudos to the neighborhood for not letting this people "mean girl" the gays on the block based on their "conservative" beliefs.

Sucks to feel excluded, right??

(H/T: The Gaily Grind)



I would like to understand how our lives the LGBT community are any different from straight couples in our day to day activities or how we do things. We do the exact same thing that all the rest of the straight community members do, we go to work, we come home have supper, wash the dishes, change clothes, go to bed, get up take a shower, and go back to work. I don't understand how our lives are any less civilized or any less human or should mean anything less in society than straight peoples lives already mean. Maybe our partners have the same physical anatomy as us but the love is the same, the day to day activities are the exact same, what we do during our lives are the exact same. We get married, we go shopping, we buy vehicles, we go to the bank, we raise our families. The only difference I can come up with is that we have to fight court battle after court battle day after day to get our relationships recognized by the individual states and we live under the same exact constitution that states every man is created equal. Equal UNDER LAW! Not separate and equal BUT EQUAL. Which means we should have every right and every privilege that straight people already get not civil unions but MARRIAGE, not separate bank accounts but the same as straight people, not separate health care plans but the same health care plans. Same Rights Same Benefits Nothing Less! We aren't asking for
"special rights" like Religious Right wing people keep claiming but the the Same Exact Rights that straight people already receive.

You invite people to your home not to absorb them, but to learn of them and determine if you can work together in the things that are important to you. Were whats being suggested appropriate, I would be expected/required to invite people to my home that I didnt share common norms in common with JUST to avoid offending anyone. Bologna. The gay couples, by their choice, invited unknowns to their home...whom they later decided were bigots - lol. Appears the evening itself was uneventful. Straight couple, by their choice, later invited others to their home, not including people they had differences with. I dont see any bashing here beyond media hype...of which Dear Abby is obviously very much a part of. So sad. NO ONE is ever accepted into every venue....sometimes "people combinations" just dont work. Thats okay. Grow up & get on with the freedoms in life we ALL have. Why would the gay people WANT to be invited to the home of people that arent comfortable around them? Get real! Media is just trying to form cultural opinion. They do it all the time. Its how they sensationalize to get sales/readership up - lol. (insert big yawn here)

The comments demonstrate so much hate on both sides. Some conservative Christians spew their hate that's they claim is Biblically based and in response, some with the gay community spew their hate in response. It's disgusting. 

Dylan, you call people "twat" & "asshole" AND call yourself a Christian??? I think you are just using your hatred of gay people to repress your own true gay desires. Either that, or you're just on here just trying to rile people up or you're just a psychotic, deranged psychopath....BUT, no matter your motivations to get on here and act like a lunatic, you are NOT a Christian. THAT is absolutely blatantly obvious.

In fairness, I think it was me calling Dylan "twat" & "asshole".  He just said faggot a lot & that gays are disgusting, & that gays would fuel the lake of fire &  shit like that.  That seems a little less Christian to me.  But what do I know.  I'm just a disgusting, aids spreading faggot.

I really hope Dylan KleboId is your given name. Otherwise if you chose it, you are one sick person and need to seek professional help.

Americans.  Capable of such good and such horror.

Newsflash: All humans are capable of such horrors ...unfortunately Right Wing Tea

Bagging Republicans seem to grab up the spotlight over here..

Our place is not to judge. God is the judge, jury and savior of this world. Our place is to accept all as they are.

Romans 1:26-28 

For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. amen. HOMOSEXUALS ARE A DISGRACE TO HHUMANITY. I HATE HOMOSEXUALS WITH A PASSION. GO TO HELL FAGGOTS

How sad for you, Dylan.  Perhaps you should take some time to check out the fourth chapter of the First Epistle of John the next time you crack open a Bible to find verses to justify your hatred in the eyes of God and your neighbors.

Me thinks she doth protest too much.

Clearly Dylan is a closet homosexual.  This kind of hatred can only come from deep self loathing.

The thing is Dylan, you are gay & will always be gay, no matter how much you hate yourself & live in denial.  You are gay whether you act on it, or not, but in your head & your heart you crave it.  It's not your fault.  You were born that way.  That's how God made you.  Accept it.

Great Dylan.. the feeling is mutual so just go ahead and lead the way to hell. Now... until that happens let's just move along and live our lives you dummy. 

Wow, someone needs to remove their bigoted head from their ass! You sir are a disgrace to humanity and to christians. Judge not lest ye be judged yourself. See you in hell, you bigoted fuck!

Matthew 7: 1-5 Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

John 3:17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

Omg true reasoning.....are u gay? Able to speak on behalf of those who were born this way as I am? Please consult w those who are before sticking your ignorant ( unknowing/uneducated) oppion of whos right or wrong. Many people have lost their lives hiding behind ignorant opinions of sexuality. Humanity should rule in this decision not what people are raises to believe. We are human all sucebtible to singing and making wrong judgements. Judgements are left to our creator not the human individual

I did not agree with and do not like Dear Abby's reasoning at all.  Because these gay people didn't choose to be homosexual anymore than she chose to be heterosexual she should not discriminate.  What if they did consciously choose to be gay or lesbian, according to Dear Abby's reasoning here, then it would be OK to shun them. 

She didn't say that. You are using doors left open to put in your own misguided thoughts.

Is it just me or is it getting difficult to tell who is close-minded?  There seems to be an unhealthy amount of judgment flying in all directions.

If the original letter to Dear Abby and her reply are taken at face value, a conservative couple moved into a comparatively liberal neighborhood.  They were welcomed into the neighborhood until they decided to shun two same-sex couples in this new community.  The new community responded by shunning them back.

Now the Bible is full of advice to shun people and put people to death if they do not follow the customs of the community.  Shunning is dictated both in the book of Leviticus (for a man who has sex with his wife during her menstrual period, for example) and in the letters of Paul (including 1 Corinthians were he makes his famous list of sinners - which is believed by some - to include male prostitutes and effeminate men).

But the Bible is not consistent on this advice.  In that same book, it says this (Leviticus 19:33)

When an outsider resides with you in your land, you shall not oppress the outsider.  The outsider who resides with you shall be to you as the citizen among you.  You shall love the outsider as yourself, for you were outsiders in the land of Egypt; I AM The Lord your God.

Surely this conservative Christian couples are outsiders in this community.  The community did welcome them openly, as Leviticus advises - but when they did not follow the values of that community they were shunned, which both Leviticus and Paul advise also.

Well, you don't need to go to the Bible to see where this leads.  It's the Hatfields and the McCoys all over again.  Both camps are will not budge on their position and they become locked in permanent war, a cycle of hatred and violence.

On this, Jesus himself was clear - according to the Gospel of Mark (6:32-36)

Do to others as you would have them do to you.  If you love [only] those that love you what credit is that to you?...But love your enemies, do good to them and lend to them without expecting anything back. Then your reward will be great, then you will be children of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked.  

Be merciful as your Father is merciful"

So if the couple is going to use Jesus as an example, they would do right to break bread with those they believe are sinners.  And I also think the community would do right not to make their exclusion of the couple permanent.  If the couple apologized and invited everyone to another party - and this time actually did invite everyone - the community might well be convinced to give them another chance.

And if that couple truly follow their faith, they will remember Matthew 7:1-2

Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.

Funny, doesn't that passage pretty much describe what happened in this little community as well as give a way out of permanent divide among its members?

That old snake told Adam and Eve that if they ate the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil that they would become like God.  In other words, they would be able to judge Good and Evil for themselves.  We all know where that led them.  The snake was lying, but he was clever about it - and his advice has plagued Christianity with two-thousand years of judgment, division and strife.  Why?  Because we all seem to believe we have the right to judge the heart of another.

If we could all stop judging and hating and start accepting and loving each other - we'd get back into that garden.

All of us.

Love thy neighbor as thyself." Interesting, how so called 'Christians' ignore the teachings of their Lord and pull old chestnuts from ancient, poorly translated records about Hebrew culture, guidelines that have not been in effect for that culture for thousands of years, guidelines that were never in effect, for Christians, guidelines that were never, ever endorsed by Jesus Christ. I wish hateful people would stop cloaking their hatred in religion, and just be haters. It would be more honest. But I guess haters generally are not honest people. Racking my brain, it seems to me the only example of Christians killing other Christians for bad behavior would be the killings of Ananias and Sephirah, in the Pauline Church. They lied about money they were supposed to be donating to the Church. Hmmmm...wonder if any of these haters are behind on their tithes?

Leviticus 20:13
"If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense." Amen

Seriously, isn't this a gay magazine, or at least super gay friendly. Idiot. Why are you posting.

You are correct--isn't that between the sin of wearing clothing of mixed materials, getting tattoos, getting any piercing, and eating pork or shellfish?  There'd be a lot of stoning going on ... unless you just get to pick the ones you like of course.

Please learn to read Hebrew and understand cultural and period context before quoting ridiculous translations.

Oh.. You got me there.  Turns out you're right.  I am disgusting & detestable.  You should probably not invite me to your BBQs.

Get your head out of your ass.  It's not a hat.

Dylan Klebold sounds like a disturbed teenager with a bad home life. Don't give his comment any more time or attention than you would to any other immature thoughtless adolescent rant.

Filthy homosexuals aren't born that way. They just become faggots cuz they want to mock god and like it up the butt. Disgusting. I hope all the filthy faggots die of aids soon . Amen

Ignorance is not bliss.  It's sad.  Notice that educated people are more understanding and tolerant of others differences.  When looking objectively at any sexual act, it's disgusting and filthy.  Straight people do have anal sex.  Homosexuality is not about sex, Klebold, it's about attraction.  Given the opportunity would you choose homosexuality?  Of course not.  Me neither.  But you and I will never have that choice.  It is not a choice.  Ignorance is.  Stay in school, my friend, and seek to understand.  Ignorance is sad and embarrassing.

Of course not. I love girls and girls love me. I'm an anti gay activist. I'll expose these filthy homosexuals on every forum. They gave humanity the gift of aids. These homosexuals are a disgrace for mankind and they'll be the fuel for the lake of fire. Amen

Your statements are incorrect, furthering evidence of your ignorance, Klebold.  Evidence shows that HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, was initially transferred to human beings from Polo and HB vaccinations in the 1950's.  Simply be happenstance, the virus initially traveled in South Africa's populations and then later to New York in the homosexual population.  HIV/AIDS is not in any way discriminatory.  It just as well could have initially traveled through heterosexuals.

Now that I have educated you on this matter, Klebold, you do understand that HIV/AIDS has nothing to do with a person's sexual orientation.  Anyone can contract the deadly disease at anytime, including yourself.  Homosexuality has nothing to do with "the gift of Aids".  If you want to blame someone, blame the scientists of the 1950's.

Homosexuals, you should understand, are celebrated gifts of sex between a man and a women.  Be mindful, my friend, as you have a 10% chance of making one yourself.  Like I said, stay in school.  You are clearly undereducated and you're embarrassing yourself and other anti-gay activists.  Get a clue, dude, you're better than they are.

Amen? LOL

I want to do you so bad right now.  You're so sexy.  I bet the girls do love you & your tiny penis.

You are a disgusting person and I hope you rot. Better yet, I hope you have children who all turn out gay, I hope someone forces you to take it up the butt one day, and I hope they give you aids in the process. You're a sorry excuse for a human being, go die. 

Please do NOT use the Lord's name in vain and to spread HATE.  That is not what he preaches.  Amen to you.

Dylan Klebold.  Your name is stupid & you are a twat. Gays are mocking God?  Take a look in the mirror asshole.  Generally the people who are so adamant that gay people are not "born this way" are the people with latent homosexual tendencies, who have made the "choice" to deny what is natural to them.  They then go on to live sad unfulfilled pitiful lives.  They marry the opposite sex & bring their spouses with them into their misery.

Dylan you are a sad little man & I hope there is a god, because if there is, he will surely spit on you.


Reading many of these post by heterosexuals & homosexuals hurts.  Please, if you take anything from my post, take this phrase I remember from 4th grade from Sister Mary Ann, "God don't make no junk!"  Yes, I know it is not grammar perfect, but it is the way I remember the phrase.  When I came out 20 years ago I asked my priest if I was going to hell.  Sitting in front of him I remember that I was not crying, but scared.  At that time I had not told my family I was gay.  The town I live in is a rural farming community, and the only things I heard about gay people was BAD.  There was a time I had tried to kill myself because I was taught being gay was wrong and I was going to hell; which committing suicide is wrong too.  So, I figured, since I was gay and going to hell why not just do it, so my family would be happier without me.  But, one day I went to talk to our Priest and confessed that I was gay.  Looking him dead in the eyes I told him, I did not choose this and I am going to hell.  He replied, "No, you are not going to hell".  Was so relieved, he explained before, and while becoming a Priest he was a Counselor.  We had a long talk, and knowing his past (he was engaed, but she passed away before they were married).  It made me feel confident in myself.  My point (sorry for long email) is that we should ALL (gay and straight) respect ALL people even if we do not like their LIFE.  Many gays will hate me for sticking up for the straight people in the story and vice versa.  The straight couple may NOT like the gay peoples LIVES, but respect them.  The gay people should respect the straight.  Yes, I know we are only hearing the story from the straight perspective, but, remember the golden NICE.  There is too much hate in the world.  It is hard for some people to do that.  But, TRY it!  Just BE NICE.   Try to get along..........please?  You will surprise yourself.  Never hurts to make a new friend.  Thank you for allowing me to post.

Not hate...j bullied to believe in a common theology in order to be accepted

I am shocked that this couple thought it was okay to invite everyone EXCEPT for the gay couples and people would still like them..I do not care where they came from...I am glad their precious little bubble got popped when they themselves were snubbed after snubbing. kudos to the Dear Abby writer because I am not sure my reply could have been so nice. 

they just got a dose of their own medicine and didn't like it.

Serves them right with a dose of their own venom.

From a Pete Seeger (I think) song:

"You've got to be taught, before it's too late, to hate all the people your relatives hate,

before you are 6, or 7, or 8, you've got to be carefully taught"

these homophobic folks never grew up psychically.  But then, maybe I'm just as bad, cause I have a hard time not hating them for being homophobic.  from A non-gay, married woman, age 70, in Frederick, Maryland.  Why should anybody else care what someone's sexual preference is?

And this is why l left Christianity. The  individual interpretation of the bible to serve your needs, was too much. The fact that people believe word for word at the bible is just as bad as people believing gin Magic.

If Jesus ever came back and he started to do what he did before, he would be shunned and taken for a crazy guy. If he started to change water into wine, people would take it a magic trick. No one would believe him if he came back. Most of religions are molded for people to feel superior to others, to feel they are better because they follow God the way they should.
I call BS. I can follow God and live a good life because I feel him in my heart and it feels like love. I don't feel hate for people different from me, that is not what God is about. You should be ashamed to think that God would condone your bigotry. If you do, you have missed the whole point of "God's Love".  

I read these posts and think back on all the hatred that was spewed when civil rights and interracial marriage was being debated. Its not a "choice" its not a "lifestyle" its who YOU ARE. Forty years ago you couldn't marry an African American if you were white... Now its not only excepted but "normal." I teach my children you fall in love with the person not the gender or color. It makes me angry to know that today the same ignorance of forty years ago is still around. When people started changing laws about interracial marriage there were the same ignorant people who spouted nonsense about God hating them. I cannot fathom any God would hate someone who is true to themselves and loves so deeply. I am not gay or a minority, I am a white, middle class, middle aged straight woman who hate injustice in any manner. Just reading the ignorance in these posts hurts my heart. Ignorance is not bliss it is a way to block the truth.

Persecuting and excluding either party in this dispute is unfounded.   Christianity dictates heterosexuality and that is a fact.   For these people to yield to peer pressure to deny them their faith is wrong.  On the other side, our constitution dictates freedom from persecution for homosexuals and Religious believers.   Excluding one for their beliefs, while accepting another for their beliefs is still prejudice.   Deal with it!!!

You are ignorant, but that's what being closed minded and segregated from society will teach you. You are an absolute hypocrite of what God teaches, which is love. You're pathetic.

Christian belief does NOT dictate mistreatment of others. It does not say that you have some sort of obligation to be hurtful or exclude anyone from anything. That is YOU trying to prove a point and speaking for God... 

Bullscat. The Bible does not "dictate heterosexuality."  That is simply the way you interpret the six verses in the Bible. Lots of people do that as a shield to hide their bigotry.  And, make no mistake, to think people who are homosexual are lesser in God's eye is bigotry, and you should stop.

Homosexuality is not a "belief."  That is an absolutely absurd statement. Maybe you should pray for God to open your eyes so you can love everyone.  And, please, don't give me the bullscat about having gay friends. It just doesn't pass the smell test when you've broadcast your disapproval.


Did Jesus not dine with sinners and forgive their sins? Pharisees, prostitutes, etc? I guess what Jesus meant was "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone [unless you're throwing stones at gay people, in which case, go right ahead]"

Some Christians believe homosexuality is a sin, but Christianity NEVER promotes excluding sinners. 

There are always going to be clueless people. They can exclude anyone they like - black, gay, asian, disabled, catholic, jewish, non-christian, for whatever reasons they want. By the same token they should be perfectly fine with others excluding them, whatever the reasons. Clearly they either haven't ever thought very far about the issue, or this is a fake letter because it's difficult to imagine anyone being so unable to put two and two together. (Well, I'd like to think it is...but I've seen some pretty clueless people in my life.)

Sometimes people just need time to get used to ideas that are strange to them.  I believe the community made a mistake by not continuing to include the couple. How else will they have their perceptions challenged than by interacting with the gays at other neighbors houses?  Telling someone they are wrong and punishing them by ostraization is failure,  Where now is the opportunity to really see a new way of thinking,

I always thought good manners was about making people feel welcome even when they make a faux pas and remembering no matter how rude someone is, the important thing is how you behave yourself.

Seems to me this is more about the gays not being strong enough suffer a little hurt feelings while the new couple gets used to new ideas.

How quick you all jump to indignation and outrage.  I went to law school in Akron Ohio, mid 90's. A conservative small town-ish place.   Now I could have shown up the first day of class, with my freedom rings on and rainbow flag, screaming, I'm here, I'm queer get used to it!  But instead I chose to show up as myself and gave people the opportunity to meet me and discover that being gay was simply one aspect of who I was.  At the end of the first semester, for those who hadn't guessed or been told, I made a general announcement to the class.

Many of my classmates had never come in contact with a gay person,( that they knew of). Now, I could have gotten outraged and indignant every time some straight boy told a fag joke or someone said, That's so gay!  But I knew that their opinions were based in ignorance and If i wanted to overcome that ignorance there had to be a dialog and i was the one who was going to have to initiate it.  I couldn't expect clueless straight people to initiate it.  So I did, a dialog through personal inter action, me just being me and allowing people to be themselves, even if they made stupid comments. I cannot tell you how many times a classmate would confess to me, "David, I had all these sterotypes about gays but you've shown me it isn't really true."

If I was the gay in the neighborhood, I would insist that my fellow neighbors continue to invite the new couple to the parties and I would still extend the invitation to my parties even if they never came.   How else would they get to know me and perhaps see the folly of their ignorance?

Americans needs to stop getting their underwear in a twist over every perceived slight, grow some skin, grow up and realize sometimes YOU have to the work... even if you're right. 

People who shun other people simply because of who they are should be ostracized. There is no way I'd have guests in my home who deny the humanity of any group, and that's exactly what this couple is doing.

And your using "the gays" shows that you lack the civility that you urge on others. Hypocrite.

Nothing like calling them "the gays" to make you sound reasonable and unbigoted...

You can't "see a new way of thinking", when you refuse to acknowledge that there are any other ways of thinking other than your own... The difference between the gay couple and the new couple, is the gay couple would be willing to invite them into their home no matter their beliefs, the new couple refuses to let the gay couple into their home and wants nothing to do with them. This puts the people in the community, who actually value the gay couple, into an awkward place. And frankly, why should they cater to these new people who obviously do not value all the members of the established community? Bigoted people are in many cases, impossible to get through to. That is why they are "bigoted"... I think the advice given was spot on. If you can't get over the fact that a gay couple (or any couple for that matter) is part of the community you move into, then perhaps you should find a community that is more uniformed and to your liking.

I didn't realize, that now, we have to invite everyone, because that's what everyone else does! if I don't want to invite someone in my home, to my event, I shouldn't have to! No matter what the reason. We have turned our society into this place where everyone had to walk on glass to make sure no ones feelings get hurt! Get over it, move on, feelings are going to get hurt, but the lgbt whatever it is, has taken it to a whole new level. There's a saying, sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me. While I get that words can hurt, you control how bad to let them hurt you. You can dwell on it, or you can move on and learn fron it!! Everyone has the right to chose who they want to allow and not allow in their home!

We don't have to invite everyone to our party's and they don't either.  So they chose not to invite you. Quit whimpering and get a life

Agree that people do have the right.  So the couple that was excluded should just accept the fact they the neighbors don't want them in their home.  Think how unfounded and backward your comments.  Its a two way street.

Do you not realize how utterly hypocritical you sound? You do not have to invite anyone into your home, that you do not want, but don't be surprised if the choice of leaving people out because they are gay or black or whatever has consequences. Obviously, this community doesn't appreciate their established neighbors and friends being blatantly discriminated against by new neighbors, who act as though they are better than them. This isn't the 1950's anymore; people do not cherish uniformity, create a sheltered and unreal environment around them, and act as though diversity doesn't exist in society... 

So, it is true, "everyone has the right to chose who they want to allow and not allow in their home", but people have the right to chose whether they want to enter or not enter someone's home as well... Why should these neighbors have to attend events at this couple's home? Because YOU deem their choice "moral"?

I find your comment very ironic as well. You complain about how the LGBT get their feelings hurt and how they need to get over it, when in reality, the LGBT have been "getting over it" for decades. We could care less what bigots have to say. We are citizens who live our lives just like everyone else. The only times you are going to see us upset and vocal, is when bigots are trying to pass laws against us to hinder our rights.... I think getting upset is justified in this circumstance... Maybe if laws were being passed against your sexual orientation, to hinder your rights, you would be more understanding of this...

So when you and people like the ones who wrote in act in such a way and the reaction is not the one you hoped for, you should heed your own advice and "get over it, move on, feelings are going to get hurt". Not everyone agrees with your bigoted views and they have the right to act as they wish in reaction to them.

No, you absolutely do not have to invite everyone to your home just because that's what everyone else does. BUT when you exclude 2 couples solely because they are gay then you are a bigot and others, like myself, can absolutely tell you to go shove it. The other neighbors decided that they prefer gays to bigots HA Me too! You have every right to make whatever decisions you like but others also have the right to react to those decisions. 

I agree you don't have to invite everyone to your event but in turn you do not have the right to be a big cry baby  when they don't invite you to their event. no matter the reason 

So the unhappy couple shouldn't be butthurt that they're excluded.

After all, people are welcome to invite whomever they wish to their house. :) Funny how reciprocity works, isn't it?

Nothing like a god botherer to show the shit side of human nature. I wish they would dissapear up the rear end of thier invisible best friend and let the rest of us make the world a better place.

Look, I'm proud of her comments and all towards the couple because she is right, and that's amazing...Seriously though, what the hell is up with the Dear Abby that followed with the kid getting beat. No one noticed that?

Miles, I found a good link to all of the questions and comments on that day of Dear Abby. Her advice to the young man getting whipped with a belt was spot on. I'm including a link.


I would never understand  

The permanence being hated

I'd never come the simple conclusion

That I won't stand for being tolerated

We tolerate loud noises or misquote at night

not humans with the capacity to know wrong from right


I'd never know true isolation

You hold up that bible

But have you read all the pages?

You claim to know god and his love; that you trust him.

Yet you seek to destroy any man with a husband?

I watch as you devote time 

to create picket signs

They say "God hates fags"

But not this God of mine

He loves me for me

He loves my Gay pride

And the man that I lay with

Also stands by my side

He loves and protects me

We both share one life

A Life without hate

A life 


This is so powerful. Thank you.

Deeply moving and profound poem <3

First of all this story has nothing to do with politics. It is about ignorance and homophobia. If you want to preserve antiquated standards then follow the old tried and true adage 'if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all.' In other words 'grin and bare it' I promise you you'll be happier and you might learn something

yup, grin and bare it all!

They should move to Russia

When my partner and I moved into our new neighborhood in a smaller Connecticut town 5 yrs ago obviously we were the subject of much speculation and curiosity.When spring arrived and we started various projects in the yard we made the first move in approaching and introducing ourselves.We have even hosted some get together's at our home and we have become friendly with one couple our age that lives next door.Largely we have been accepted with kindness and respect with the exception of one couple whom we get the direct feeling that although they wave they want nothing to do with us.We really could care less and they are entitled to their opinions.I applaud these neighbors in Tampa for their support of this gay couple,it sounds like a close knit place to live!

The first commandment is to love. Jesus loved the sinner, he just didn't love the sin. He went to be with the sinner to ask him to turn from his ways. We should be more like him. Light a candle on top of the hill top and when they are tired of being in the dark they will come to the light. Gods greatest gift is the gift of choice. Everyone had choices in life. They can do as they wish. So when the day comes when we die and stand before God we can not point the finger to anyone else but ourselves. Because he gave us the choice. So love one another, invite them into your home. Give them food and drink. If they chose to change their ways then Praise God. If not, it is their choice. Still love them and pray for them. Only if you see yourself being tempted to turn to their ways would find it necessary to part from them.

"Love the sinner, hate the sin" is a canard. It's a shield people like you hide behind so you don't have to acknowledge your self-righteousness. It's a sheild people like you use so you don't have to acknowledge your bigotry.  And, why?  Because you look at people of whom you disapprove not as people, but as "sin."  It's disgusting.

You think homosexuality is a choice?  Then you choose it. Right now. Choose to not be attracted to your husband emotionally and physically and to fall in love with another woman.  Can't do it? Then why the hell do you think we can?

All of you who use this "hate the sin, love the sinner" bullscat are nothing but loathsome hypocrites.

Oh bless your poor little heart. If it's a choice, can you choose to love a woman as you love your spouse? No? I suspect the mere idea makes you ill.

The mere idea of a heterosexual relationship makes homosexuals just as ill, frankly.

It is not a choice. They are born that way. That means God made them that way. Ignorance and intolerance, however, is learned. I hope you unlearn your poor behaviors and learn to love as Jesus commands. Jesus would be appalled at the behaviour of may of His "followers".

Love will never be sin in my relationship with God.I would never live a lie and for me to be involved with a woman would be a real big lie.

do I agree with homosexuality, NO! Will I cast the first stone! NO, but I will tell you one thing. I will treat you with the respect you deserve! I was raised to give respect where respect was deserved. Doesn't matter who you are


Oh, please. Disagreeing with homosexuality is like disagreeing with having blue eyes or being left-handed.

You do cast the first stone when you say you "disagree" with who we are. It is not respectful to say that. Don't fool yourself into thinking it is.

Funny thing.  I don't "agree" with heterosexuality.

And the person you replied to flat said they'll invite you to their home and be kind to you anyways. There's no need to be a jerk.

Where, exactly, did that person say they'll invite us to their home? I sure didn't see it. I don't see how he was being a jerk.

So because they don't agree with that lifestyle the are BIGOTS?? Really...last time I checked this is America and we have the right to believe what we will. I am so tired of this subject and it being shoved down our throats! 

Yes, they are. And so are you. It's not a "lifestyle." It's part of who we are as human beings. And if you think "lifestyle" means our intimate activity I will tell you to get your imagination out of our bedrooms. You have not been invited and you are not welcome there.

You have every right to believe and say what you want. You do not have a right to be free from criticism.

It's always interesting to me that people like you use "shoved down our throats" when talking about the struggle for recognition of our humanity and fight for equality we have endured for centuries. Do you not realize there is a subtle sexual innuendo there?

Yes, they are. Would they exclude the couple across the street because they're fat (gluttony)? Or rich (greedy)? Probably not. Gays are an easy target, because they can't understand that "temptation" while its much easier for them to "slip" and commit another sin.

So what are your thoughts on interracial marriage?

Did you know that these exact arguments were used 60 years ago to keep interracial marriage illegal? The Bible -and- the "think about the children" arguments were just as popular then! Blacks marrying whites was considered as morally reprehensible back then as homosexuality is today!

Yet we look back and wonder what the [censored] they were smoking. Grow up, put your big girl panties on, and understand that you're just as bigoted as those who backed miscegenation laws 60 years ago if you back anti-gay laws today.

You're absolutely right - they have the right to believe whatever they want. They also, as we all do, have to deal with the repercussions of those beliefs. Sounds like they are.

And even if you don't agree with it, there's still the issue of basic human decency. It doesn't hurt you to be courteous, but it does hurt someone else to be vicious. Why make a hard life harder?

They are bigots for excluding the gays from thier parties even though they were invited to all the other parties.

And *I* am JUST AS TIRED of bigotted ( YES I said BIGGOTTED) conservative, politicians claiming to be Christians to win a few votes, trying to shove The Bible and what they claim to be "their beliefs" down MY throat!!!  LET IT GO!!  Your religion has NO PLACE near The Constitution!!   

They don't have to agree with their life style but that doesn't mean they should exclude them.  I dont believe on cheating on a spouse but we have neighbors who cheat on each other but they are still included in the neighborhood activities.  It is not our place to judge.

What is this "Lifestyle" that we are apparently living?  What do you think we're doing?  Our "Lifestyle" is not being "shoved down your throats".  Our lack of human rights is an ongoing discussion & hot topic.  Yes, this is America, where we are all supposed to be free & equal, but we're not.  We only want equality, no more than that.  We don't want you in our business, but we deserve equality & acceptance as Americans.  Our "Lifestyles" are far closer to yours than you apparently think.  Huge amounts of money are gathered & spent to try to prevent LGBT people from having the same opportunities as straight people.  I WISH that this battle was over (we will win), so that people could focus their money & attention on causes that need it, like poverty, hunger, disease.  The people in this article are bigots & it seems so are you.  Because you see LGBT people as less than you & as undeserving of equal treatment.  I can't stop being gay, but you can stop being a bigot.  You need to reflect & think for yourself.  My "Lifestyle" is just my LIFE.

You tell them!!! I was gona write exactly the same thing. I didn't see this woman writing in claiming to be excluded because she's straight. This couple have been excluded because they've upset people in this community! A community that's worked hard and respect each other! Personally I would invite them, let them see what wonderful people they live with. Let them see what their missing out on.

life is fab!! Don't waste it. X


Yes, you are entitled to your opinion, but other people are not required to respect your opinion, especially if it is so obviously harmful. Believe what you want, but you are not allowed to treat people differently if their "lifestyle" (which is a stupid phrase to describe sexual preference anyway, considering it is literally biological and cannot be helped nor changed by anyone) doesn't fit your cookie cutter ideals. The belief itself that there is something wrong with being queer is highly problematic in itself, and we as a society need to work to overcome that ignorant thinking, but to take out your beliefs and resentment towards two loving couples is not only petty, childish, and passive aggressive, it demonstrates a fundamental lack of empathy and tolerance.

Also, don't you think LGBTQIA+ people are tired of being discriminated against and oppressed more than you are "so tired of this subject (YOU MEAN THE SUBJECT OF EQUAL TREATMENT?) and it being shoved down our (you mean non-oppressed, straight white folks, right?) throats!"

Please educate yourself and correct your problematic perspective so we can overcome this terrible stigma.

Whether I agree with her or not, Let her believe what she wants to believe! You don't have to respect it. Pretend this comment doesn't even exist. I can tell you're a bitter liberal that gets easily offended by a Republican Comment. That's the problem with America. You liberals can't respect one opinion about anything. You all act like 4 year old because you can't get everything your way. She doesn't need to educate herself. You do. Look up Freedom of Speech. Freedom of Speech is not just for Liberals you know. 

This is a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black. You demand respect for your opinions, whether they are hurtful or harmful, then you accuse the subjects of your venom of being intolerant.

Let me tell you something. Pointing out your intolerance does not make me intolerant. It makes me a victor who has risen above it.

Lmao I'm not easily offended by a "Republican Comment". I really don't care at all what her political views are and, quite frankly, they have nothing to do with this conversation. This conversation has to do with basic respect for another human being (not their opinions, but the person themself). The problem with America is that it still subscribes to many oppressive policies that are harmful to everyone who's not a well-off cis white male.

And, let me get this straight, you want me to respect the opinion of a person who flat out dismisses the long history of violence and oppression that the LGBTQIA+ community and whines because she is sick of hearing about these people's demands for equal treatment? That's a pretty shitty attitude. Like I said, I don't have to respect your opinion. I respect your right to have your own opinion, but an idea does not inherently demand my respect because it exists. Do you respect the opinions of the members of the KKK? I would hope not.

The first amendment was put in place to allow for the free expression of opinions without the fear of imprisonment by the US government. It guarantees that you won't be hauled away by the Thought Police in the middle of the night with a sack over your head because you voiced a concern about Big Brother.

(and obviously it doesn't just apply to liberals, again, you don't see the KKK rallies being forcibly stopped, do you? Pretty sure they're not liberal) It doesn't give you a free pass to be a bigot. I respect those who respect others and don't use snarky passive aggressive comments to try to undermine legitimate issues with juvenile whining. So you can take your obnoxious condescending attitude and kindly fuck off.

Well said! Much love!!

Last time I checked it was someone against homosexuality that started this debate. It wasn't being "shoved down your throat". You ask a question, you get an answer. Don't like the answer given? Move on and RESPECT opinions of others. 

Beth you said to Lina to respect her opinion right? Well respect her's too.

Do you respect the opinions of KKK members? Neo-Nazi groups? Why should the opinion of anyone who embraces hatred and abuse of people who are different be respected?

Lina has a right to express her opinion. She does not have the right to have that opinion go without criticism.


Add new comment