Nigel Campbell's picture

Man Has Four-Inch Fork Removed From Inside Penis

Why, God, why?!

We passed out when we read this story, so forgive us if we keep it brief. A 70-year-old man tried to get off by shoving a fork up his penis.

**And for the love of all things that are holy, DON'T read the full report from the International Journal of Surgery Cases, which Huff Po says includes a "terrifying, graphic" image of the fork's removal. We couldn't tell you how graphic it is because WE WILL NEVER LOOK AT IT. Some things you can't unsee.**

The Huffington Post writes:

According to a report published in the International Journal of Surgery Cases earlier this month, the Canberra man was admitted to the hospital with "bleeding urethral meatus" after he stuffed a 4-inch fork into his urethra in an attempt to "achieve sexual gratification."

Fortunately, the report says the fork was successfully removed using forceps and "copious lubrication."

According to the report's authors, this isn't the first time that a man has attempted to insert a foreign object into his nether regions. Pens, safety pins, telephone cables, glue, cocaine, straws, marbles, light bulbs, carrots and snakes, among other strange things, have allegedly been found stuck in penises in the past.


And we just passed out again. 


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There was an old man who in strife
To impress his Australian wife
Inserted a fork
Right into his dork
But she said only, "That's not a knife!"

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