Nigel Campbell's picture

Can Having A Big Penis Hurt Your Relationship?

Can having a big penis hurt your relationship? A new study finds that that's the case--though shocker of all shockers--the study was geared towards women and heterosexual relationships, so who knows how varied the responses would have been had gay men been asked? (No tea, no shade size queens!) 

Still, the findings are interesting and provoke questions that can apply to us.

The study, which comes from U.S. and Kenyan researchers and was published in the PLoS One Journal, looked at "the extra-marital affairs of women married to fishermen living along Lake Victoria in Kisumu County, Kenya." (SPECIFIC!!) 

​Discovery News (via The Gaily Grind) takes on the study, here. 

The study finds:

“Surprisingly, [having a] spouse [with a] longer fully erect penis was associated with increased likelihood of the women having extra-marital partnerships. From these results, every one inch longer penis increased the likelihood of women being involved in extra-marital partnership by almost one-and-half times.

“Similarly, our qualitative data also support this finding. Women associated large penises with pain and discomfort during sex which precludes the enjoyment and sexual satisfaction that women are supposed to feel.”

Medical Daily provides more detailed info on the researchers' findings. 

Do you feel these same results would apply to gay men, Instincters? Would a larger than average penis deter you from marriage or a long-term relationship with a male partner? Is what's to gain from the relationship worth the potential pain?

What's your take??


(H/T: The Gaily Grind)


Here I am googling about a very large penis after a not so fun painful sex. I never thought this was possible thinking that penis is a penis. The guy can't thrust all the way because it's hurts. I literally scream in pain. So, he holds back. We both couldn't achieve orgasm. I think I'll let go of him.

It's obviously a woman's hand in the picture. If it was EXCLUSIVELY geared towards gay men then they should have used a different picture! I personally do love a big Italian sausage inside of me or in my mouth. Mmmmmm!

The question is geared toward the gay community. As such I see no reason why a straight heterosexual woman feels the need to share her unwanted opinion.

As a 48 yo heterosexual woman who has during the course of my lifetime experienced various sizes. I am a petite woman who is short-waisted, so I CANNOT handle someone who is of GREAT length. I've tried, it is INDEED painful. However, I can take girth & prefer that to length ANY day! But, there aren't really that many men endowed w/GREAT girth! The bigger (i.e.longer) is better is a myth in my book! I've always believed that men who are well-endowed length-wise, should try to find women who are taller & long-waisted to be able to handle his length.

The large cock is not bad but i prefer a smaller one if a man with a bigger dick takes his time im ok but he he just drives it home it not fun anymore

My best organism have been with men with big cocks!

Here's to many more organisms

I am a Gay Male ( 25y) and I agree I associate large penises with pain and discomfort during sex which precludes the enjoyment and sexual satisfaction that I used to feel.

I had a pretty healthy sex apatite but I enjoyed smaller penises. since dating my boyfriend, who is very well-endowed, I fine myself recommending we just cuddle. Just the though of the discomfort of his size can be a turn off. The best sex we have usually involves a night of drinking 

There's no such thing as too big.

I am 41 years old and my ass doesn't snap back like it used to when I was 21.. so these days, I will take the short dick man.

Being well hung can be trouble. One of the reasons my last relationship ended (after 7 years) was that he just didn't enjoy bottoming for me. I'm versatile and loved bottoming for him, but when I was topping, after the first 8 inches he just couldn't take it. I really wanted to top more than bottom and it just wasn't working.

Since I've been single, I've met a few guys who could take my entire dick and enjoy it. Most of the guys I've been with either flat out tell me they don't want to bottom for me or try it once or twice and then try to relegate me to bottom only. 

It makes me laugh when I hear guys talking about how they wish they had a huge dick or want to get fucked by a huge dick. They say that, but if you have a huge dick, you'll find that beyond a certain size, most guys either can't or won't take it. The guys wanting to get fucked by a huge dick will probably go for it out of curiosity or as a bedpost notch, but they really want an average size guy to date.  I won't eve go into size queens who just want a huge dick and don't seem to realize it is attached to a person who is more than a walking talking dildo.

There is actually a support group LPSG for guys like me.  So many guys wish they had a dick my size, but personally I'd love to drop down to 8 inches. That seems to be the "big size" most guys like and can handle.

i couldnt have said it better myself 

Call me... ;-)

Well, you are so right! My BF has a big gun and he is always so obsessed about it! He has got even some Ego which i really don't like! He did not cheat on me yet, however I believe he would do it. 

I gave him everything, my pussy, ass, the whole thing, yet he is an asshole! I like him though i cannot see our relationship to stand still!! 

And recently he turning into a sadistic sex, I just do not like it, and I really do not know why the hell guys think we, women, like to be controlled this way in bed!? 

I would go for an average guy thu a muscualr :) 

you are clearly don't be surprised when he cheats...maybe you should look at someones personality next time!

She's NOT shallow she JUST said he's an asshole! She's just learned to read his TRUE personality well. There's NO excuse for cheating! If you're unhappy, GET OUT first!

This is a PLoS One article...they have a shitty peer review process.

that sounds old-school. .

In this day and age? You really have to ask??? From size queens to the curious ones, it has everything to do with dick size with much so that, those not of the 10+ group are emasculated for their lack of dick according to even the most whorish dick takers. It leads to most men not committing to one when they can get ass from anyone willing to take it...and often on the sneak. Stats don't lie when you factor in dudes with std's and HIV...and the band plays on...

It's all about how you use it. And you can not go from small to huge .you should work your way up by maybe using toys or whatever you guys do. to make sure you are comfortable to have great sex with hung guy.

We've got an asshole not a giant pussy. It's mental that most gay guys want giant sausages crammed up their buttholes. Let's not forget the DP and FF perverts in our community. DISGUSTING!

OUR community? You hetero cunts need to stay in your own lane and stop trolling our page. We can sniff you out from a mile away. Now go be a good hetero and file for divorce

Oh sweetie, you just can't handle the fact that us NORMAL gay men are calling loose-holed bitches like you out! Good luck with your future anal tightening surgery, queenella! Hope you enjoy adult diapers!

ive had guys turn me down becuase they were afraid i would hurt them. even my bf has trouble taking it. so maybe smaller could be better for some people 

I definitely agree that big cocks cause pain to some people. I'd sooner take a guy with a smaller penis ANY day. It's not about feeling 'stretched to the limit' for me, it's about being comfortable with the guy (as a whole person) and satisfied with whatever he was born with. #easilypleased

I have no problem at all. The bigger the better, the harder the better.. I like the idea.. do u

I actually find smaller dicks more painful... They hit me in the wrong spot... A big dick definitely helps me enjoy bottoming more.

I'm glad someone else thinks this. Average is good, I like it. Small has always been painful and uncomfortable, it seemse to poke around inside and just hurt. But the first time I had a huge one, 10x6 at least, I loved it. I'm 5'7" 155, not a big framed guy. I think it's preference.

I have slept with guys that were 10 or even 13 inch. I am versatile but I prefer 6 or under they seem to be able make me enjoy sex more. As for the bigger guys I tended to be top because they didn't want to hurt me.I could get comfortable and take it but it wasn't as enjoyable for me.

My husband is very well hung. That's why he's the bottom!

Had a relationship with someone who was 10 plus and had great sex however the next guy was twice as thick and a couple of inches longer and that was a problem  in the bedroom unfortunately as he was extremely handsome and caring person. I would say at a certain point each of us has their maximum range of satisfaction, the first one was perfect sexually.

YES! I love this. It's definitely something I take into consideration even with short-term flings. Size-queens gonna hate on me, but for some of us, it's just a lot...easier (and therefore more fun) when someone is "average."

Not about Size it's about how it feels and how u use it

Diddo to what Bruce said.  Be happy with what you got appreciate ur gift and be appreciative of ur partners package

Well I think this ''Big penis'' issue can be as good as we perform sex. I am button and If i had a boyfriend with a big penis I would practice different sex positions such as that ones make penetration less deeper. One is the most common sex position in heterosexuals, one above the other so in man-women there is a deeper penetration due to the near position of vagina to the front, on the other hand in man-man sex, the missioner position, one above the other face to face, leads to a less deeper penetration due to the (around 10 cm) distance between front and the anus. So this way both Top and Button can enjoy the best kissing, touching and hugging at the same time of having sex, like man-women do. So passionate, then their is no reason to end a relationship because a big penis.

Jeez, women now have another thing to whine about.

We've BEEN talking about it for a long time...y'all just didn't know!

Honestly, it's not the size of the sword that matters, but how you use it in battle. 

I've been with guys who were gianormus and guys on the handicapped side when it comes to penis size. When it came to satisfying sex, the horse-hung guys were always Hit-or-Miss. Sometimes good, sometimes awful. However, without exception, the guys with small penis were always great in bed. I always left with a smile on my face. :)

Now I'm hungry.

Hahahahaha. Great answer!!

Be my boyfriend if you have a 10+ inches dick. :-) queerlife at gmail dot com

It's all about the love.  You can easily love someone with a small penis just as much, if not more, than a guy with a huge penis.  Guys with small penises kind of know that they have to make up for it in other ways, and that could add bonus points to lower-than-average penis size guys.  Only thing is that small penis guys have to be confident, otherwise it all falls apart and my argument holds no validity. Big penis guys could be too cocky and some women don't like that and could make them stray away.  Or there is the fear that the women could lose their big guy by simply being too jealous.  Jealousy in a relationship puts too much strain on both partners and one may stray.  In contrast, the the woman with a small guy may feel that there is nothing to worry about with their partner because his penis is small and thinks nobody would want it, and the jealousy may go away, making the relationship last longer.  

I love a big penis in me on me over me

I can see it affecting straight relationships, but definitely less so for gay relationships, in my opinion.

As someone who has dated guys with above-average-sized penises, I can vouch for this conclusion. There is just not much you can do with a huge penis.

As a friend of mine used to say about big penises, "It was so big, all I could do was pet it."

Definitely no! There's always a way to work around it.

My extra inches have ended my last two relationships because they "couldn't take it." Not much I could do about that though!

You just have not met the right guy!! :-)

Be proud of what you got and the right guy will come around and appreciate your gifts. 

Hasn't hurt mine yet....

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