Halloween Productions At Universal Studios And Knott's Berry Farms Are Frighteningly Homophobic
We don't expect much from Universal Studios' stage shows. But in 2013, we certainly expect that they don't turn into what amounts to an all-out homophobic minstrel show, like this year's "Bill & Ted's Halloween Adventure."
Vice's Jamie Lee Curtis Taete checked out the Universal Studios Hollywood production and reported back on its unashamed anti-gay, anti-black, anti-Asian, anti-Hispanic and pro-rape jokes.
Through its disorienting potpourri of pop-culture references, this year's Bill & Ted show finds the duo running into Superman in Oz. (Don't ask.) Bill & Ted are stoked about having Superman join their journey, but their enthusiasm is quickly dashed when a witch sprinkles fairy dust on the superhero, turning him gay, of course.
After becoming gay, Superman's voice and posture changes. His lips purse, his toes point inward, and his wrists become limp. His new voice sounds like a homophobic uncle doing a drunken impression of Richard Simmons, complete with lisps and frequent use of the word "faaaaaaabulous!"
Bill and Ted, understandably, are bummed. Their initial excitement at having Superman with them on their quest turns to disappointment as, obviously, now that Superman is gay, he is not going to be of any use to them. "Who could possibly make a worse Superman?" asks Bill. "Ben Affleck?" responds Ted.
Superman also rips off his shirt. Because gay dudes hate shirts almost as much as they hate pussy (which is to say, A LOT).
Then, because Superman is now gay, he minces over to Bill and Ted, blows kisses at them, and slaps Ted on the ass. As he does this, Bill and Ted say "awwww dude!" with disgusted voices.
After a few more attempts at molesting Bill and Ted, Superman ends up aboard the Starship Enterprise, where he runs into Superman villain General Zod.
General Zod tells Superman to get on his knees. Because Superman is now gay, he assumes this is an invitation to give Zod oral sex. "Finally!" he squeals.
Also aboard the Starship Enterprise, the gang runs into George Takei. Because George Takei is gay too, he and Superman share an instant mutual attraction. "Who's your friend?" asks George, in the same lisping, gay-minstrel voice that Superman uses.
Before Bill and/or Ted can answer, Superman interrupts by yelling "Hey daddy!" to George. (If you're not homosexual, "Hey daddy!" is a mating call used by younger gays to initiate sex with older gays.)
George and Superman disappear to have sex. "Time to boldly go where no man has gone before!" says George, as they exit the stage.
And that's the last the audience sees of Superman. Yep: the character was ONLY written into this production to provide the audience with an opportunity to laugh at outrageously stale gay jokes.
Universal's show continues to offend in other jokes targeting minorities and, in the case of Wreck-It-Ralph knocking out Nicki Minaj before dragging her off stage to "wreck it," rape, but Knott's Berry Farm (aka Knott's Scary Farm in October) continues the offensive anti-gay jabs in its Halloween production, "The Hanging 2013."
Knott's production abounds with jokes built around punch lines of "ewww, gay sex," but it's the entrance of its pop-culture-turned-homosexual-incarnate character, the Lone Ranger, that really leaves a bad taste in the non-homophobe's mouth. Announcing him as "Dances with Dudes," Knott's Lone Ranger lisps incessantly and cannot for the life of himself avoid limp wrists. But he brings good news! The Lone Ranger and Tonto have tied the knot, thanks to the Supreme Court ruling! "How is this possible?" the main characters demand to know, the disgust on their faces telegraphing all the way back into the nosebleeds. The answer, of course, comes in the form of a "YMCA" parody, complete with the Village People providing back-up. The characters make a few more gay sex jokes before exiting the stage, not to be seen for the duration of the production.
Again, the gay Lone Ranger and Tonto were written in this show SOLELY to provide an opportunity for audiences to laugh at gay men.
Fast forward to the 9:30 mark for the Lone Ranger's entrance, though the rest of the full show provides plenty of homophobic material:
The outrageous affectations of gay men that were tired back in the 1950s and recycled in both of these shows are one thing, but the hypersexualized effeminate man that will stop at nothing to sexually harass ALL straight men is a dangerous stereotype to perpetuate. Can you name another gross stereotype of gay males (aside from the dispelled myths during the early AIDS era) that has lead to more homophobia and violence than this? Nope. No one in entertainment in their right minds would perpetuate this harmful caricature for cheap laughs of the lowest common denominator.
Besides, isn't Halloween supposed to be our holiday??
(Shirtless Superman image: Vice)