"Being define by DNA as male or female is different than self-identifying as male or female." That statement is certainly true, but only in the trivial sense that an individual entertain beliefs about himself, the truth of which can not be determined independently. You may speak to Jesus, or otherwise have deep personal relationships with deities. Your making such a claim is not the same as proving the claim true. As to self-identification or to deities, the results must always be subjective, and therefore, controvertible. By all means, spend your life believing yourself to be one sex, while your DNA proves you are another. Your DNA is what must count in the objective, real world that others inhabit, although, it is true, if you are very good at disguise, you may succeed is passing yourself as something you are not. People lie all the time. If you can live with yourself, then go for it. But please don't expect other people to accept you as one sex when they can plainly determine that you are another.
The issue comes down to bullying other people--shunning, shaming, or otherwise degrading people who do not share your claim. They have just as much right to their judgment as you do to yours.
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