I think it is over blown. On one hand, we don't want to be labeled, yet, we want our rights as a distinct and identifiable group of society. So the waitress called it wrong. There is is no harm or intent in her actions. Nor is the action offensive. If she was insulting or offered reduced service, maybe. She called out a group by their own acceptable self description. Even the gays have bad days with their gaydar! End of story.
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