Oh bless your poor little heart. If it's a choice, can you choose to love a woman as you love your spouse? No? I suspect the mere idea makes you ill.
The mere idea of a heterosexual relationship makes homosexuals just as ill, frankly.
It is not a choice. They are born that way. That means God made them that way. Ignorance and intolerance, however, is learned. I hope you unlearn your poor behaviors and learn to love as Jesus commands. Jesus would be appalled at the behaviour of may of His "followers".
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