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Wow! Rarely have i read anything so dripping with anti-gay self-loathing! While I do agree that "Gay" is part culture, part sexual orientation and/or identity, there's a MUCH wider range of diversity within the culture than "boa-wearing, rainbow-flag-waving, nelly flamboyant queer."  I consider myself gay, (along with many other things...husband, son, brother, uncle, friend, business owner, active citizen in my community and country, etc) but I certainly do not fit your description of a Gay man. Oh, and I do wish to be perceived as a man, like most Gay men do. I can be cis-gendered, and still be Gay. I could also consider myself to be transgendered and consider myself to be "Gay" (but that simply isn't "me." No judgment about that, it is what it is. What I would not do is use the insulting term "gender-benders" that you use...how sad. How judgmental...ask any trans person what they think of THAT term!)

But I also have to say, as an advocate for fairness, justice, and equality for Gay people (AND people who are same-gender attracted...you too could be fired or denied all sorts of rights and services if your "attraction" is discovered), I think I DO represent your interests...whether or not you appreciate it.

Hope you continue enjoying your closet.