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Love is one strongest gift the creator has given us. To hide behind something and not be able show love and receive love is disheartening. In the bible god asked Joseph if Mary carry his son. Back then and even now that would be unheard of. Arranged marriages was also the thing back then. I feel for you. If you didn't have a book to tell you what to do then how would you act. Would you still be the nice person you are without it? Mind most of the bible is made of other men's accounts with Jesus and not his actual words. This is how like gossip get started. In the end you might only know is 10% of the truth. It's like Christian holidays are base by pagan one's. If you don't question your faith then how do you know it real? You could be just a sheep be lead to slaughter.