Imagine if you will a naturally born gay guy who never saw a full growed penis until it was time to strip in the shower room in the 7th grade. It was immediately realized that I was nothing like the other teens in my PE class and I avoided the shower daily until the coach/pe instructor sent a note home to my mother advising that I refuse to shower after my failed attempts to exercise. You see, I was born with a physical condition that is known as hidden penis syndrome. Look it up. Most little boys grow out of it as the testicles extend to the normal position but because I was an overweight child during my pre-puberty and puberty stages of development, my penis remain retracted into the area of groin fat and was not visible to anyone when flacid.
I managed to make it through high school with my shy hamster penis. To top it off, my erect penis measures less than 4.5 inches on a good day. As I continued to mature and come out of the closet, I still had not bared it all to anyone. Some of the guys would grab my crotch out of interest for possible play but I would recoil because I was not ready to accept what God gave me or share it with other men, especially gay men.
It wasn't until I left the country of Southern Mississippi and moved to the Big Easy, New Orleans and was introduced to the gay bar with dozens of confirmed and practicing gay men and a early morning visit to a notorious French Quarter bathhouse when I let my guard down and revealed the excited hamster meat. I was welcomed as if I were a leper or freak because all of my drinking buddies were card carrying size queens. Not only was I marginalized by the hetro world the gay community did not accept me for my uniqueness.
My reaction was I went back into the closet and remained there until I met an exceptional man who accepted me for who I am and made me feel sexy, desired, and wanted. He would say that its just a kick stand anyway to prop me up for better access to other parts of my body.
I still question how and why my creator who assigned me as homosexual would then equip me with the ultimate slap in the face for a gay man in this community of size queens and horse hung. At the age of 57, I remain in a constant state of inadequencies and a social recluse because I just cannot deal with rejection anymore when I reluctantly strip for or my clothes are removed off my unprepared and my cock hungry partner is met with such a contradiction. I have had a relationship with a man that dated me for 7 months without any sexual activity at all and when the time finally arrives and the stage is set, I am confident that this man actually loves me for me and the size of my penis would not matter to him.
It still amazes me to this day how gay men hide there true feelings about sex and cock size. I have had a trick strip and jump into bed and reach for my hidden buddy recoiling so that he picked up his clothes and shoes and headed straight to the door without a word.
And, I have had guys at the bath house come up to my opened door of my room and pull the door shut in a heartless display of dominance. I cannot go any further with this. I just want all to know just how hurtful guys can be towards someone who is different than status quo. Its called gay discrimination. The fight for gay rights does not mean a thing to me until the gay community accepts me and my little prick. I do ask support from nor do I volunteer or donate money to any LGBT organization in any shape, form or fashion. Since my penis size is not accepted or welcomed then no other aspect of me is acceptable.
This is extreme failure within those that fight for equal rights for the LGBT community. They are no better than the Christian hypocrites who fight against gay rights and marriage. I am no one to judge those who give judgment but I do believe that I am a better man than those who seek the horse hung.
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