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 By Staying True To Himself And His Faith BRANDON KNEEFEL Knows He Can Make A Difference
During just a few short hours with cover model Brandon Kneefel, it’s clear that I’m only scratching the surface. He has seen and done more in 21 years than most people hope to do in a lifetime.
“My dream since I was little was just to do as much as I can with this short life, to really impact the world, to trailblaze. And whether I like it or not, I really have had to do that.”
CHILDHOOD CHALLENGES
Brandon grew up the youngest of three in a conservative Christian household outside Detroit, Michigan. His parents were devoted to him and to the church. As he grew older, his parents began to notice troubling signs of what they assumed to be some sort of psychological or behavioral disorder.
“For a while they thought I had autism, ADD, ADHD, OCD. I had symptoms of OCD that caused me to move around a lot.” He was shuffled from doctor to doctor until a definitive diagnosis was made. “I had a nerve disorder called trichotillomania that made my hair follicles feel itchy. I pulled out my eyelashes and eyebrows and the hair on my head.” He holds his hands up and makes a circle the size of an apple. “I had a bald spot about that big on my head. I pulled it all out.”
It was the beginning of a difficult period for Brandon and his parents as they sought to treat his ailments. He was put on Prozac and then a handful of other, similar drugs.
“I was the most drugged-up fourth-grader in the room.” Even through the haze of medication, and at the young age of 11, Brandon couldn’t hide from himself the fact that he was gay. His church was clear about its view of homosexuality as a sin. He also knew exactly how his parents felt about gay people, because they mentioned it often.
“I remember being in elementary school and thinking I wanted to be a fashion designer, and my mom said, ‘OK, we’ll support that, but you need to watch out because that industry is full of gay people.’”
It was at age 14 that Brandon’s first big test came. Over dinner, his parents asked him directly if he was gay. Most kids are barely aware of what gay is at 14, but Brandon was already sure. “They took me to IHOP,” he remembers, “sat me down and asked me if I was gay. I said yes. And immediately they wanted to put me in Christian counseling.”
“They asked you at IHOP?” I ask. “Yeah,” he laughs, “I guess they were inspired. Maybe it was the chocolate chip pancakes. I don’t know.” His parents finally kicked him out of the house at 16. He was forced to stay with friends and finish his final year of high school without their help. His plans to join the military or go to one of the top Christian colleges quickly changed. Instead he applied to and was accepted at the University of Michigan under the ROTC program.
“I ended up being the number-one state pick. I got accepted and thought, Uh, I’ve been going to gay bars for, like, six months, and now I’m ROTC. I don’t know what I was thinking. I guess I was thinking ‘free education.’” But within the first semester, he felt compelled to drop out.
“You have to sign something that says, ‘I have not and will not participate in homosexual acts.’ I knew I was gay. I couldn’t play with my integrity like that.” So after only six months, he left the program and college altogether. Without his parents’ help, he didn’t have the financial capabilities or the available credit for student loans to continue.
He had a breakdown and drove away—in the middle of a blizzard—to Dallas. “I’m glad that I was so spontaneous, because Dallas turned my life around. Before that, I thought I was going to be in the military and eventually join the CIA and fight warlords and drug kings, and win wars or something, And now I’m all about nonviolence.” He began working at a GLBT resource center promoting events for people aged 16 to 25. And this is where the story really begins.
A VOICE FOR HIS GENERATION
Brandon knew all his life that his faith was what kept him strong. Through childhood ailments, through endless doctor visits and even being kicked out by his parents, Brandon never lost sight of his faith in God. And that faith became the driving force behind his choices. He realized that he was not the only one with challenges to overcome. People his age were all struggling with demons, whether they were external or internal.
He became a voice for GLBT youth in just about every way he could find. His first major undertaking was to become the West Bus Media Director for the Soulforce Equality Ride in March and April of 2007. As a part of Soulforce, he spent two months on a bus crossing the western half of the U.S., visiting some of the most right-wing college campuses imaginable, including Brigham Young University and Trinity Bible College. In every city, the Equality Ride sought to begin a dialogue with college students about GLBT issues. Before long, the momentum of the Ride reached a fever pitch.
“While we were in Colorado, we got an e-mail from the Latter-day Saints Church about our planned trip to BYU saying, ‘If you step on any LDS property you will be arrested. This is your trespassing notice.’ And I’m thinking, We’re not even in the state of Utah yet! And then I thought, This is big. They knew we were coming.”
The university forbade any on-campus contact between BYU students and members of the Ride, but Brandon and his team set up camp off-campus and let the students come to them, which they did. “One day,” Brandon tells me, “we did a ‘Walls of Jericho’ march around the three-mile perimeter of the campus. It was symbolic. We were trying to bring down the walls that the [the school] had put up.”
The Riders and their supporters succeeded in forcing these campuses to spell out their bigotry in clear language, a difficult but necessary first step in ending discrimination. “To kill a monster, first you have to name it,” Brandon tells me. Those months on the bus changed Brandon and gave him a taste of what this kind of work could do for his community. He also developed a better understanding of just how diverse the community is.
SPEAKING UP FOR CHANGE
More recently Brandon spent another two weeks on the road with the Soulforce Right to Marry Campaign in New York. He was in one of four vans on four different routes throughout the state of New York, discussing gay marriage with as many people as possible.
“We met with Republicans, Democrats, mayors; door-knocked, talked to constituents, held events at churches, in parks; and we really saw the landscape of New York. Our conclusion was, ‘Yeah, New York is ready for this.’” He even made a stop at the Clintons’ home in Chappaqua. There he faced some stone-faced resistance from Secret Service agents who would not allow access to the property, even to drop off a few books on gay marriage. Instead, Brandon and his busmates left their books with the Clintons’ neighbor, a “wonderful man” who “promised to get the books to his neighbors” the next time he saw them.
“We wrote them a little message: ‘Bill and Hillary, something to consider.’” He laughs.
We discuss the marriage issue for quite a while, as he is clearly energized by the topic. He already has a politician’s understanding of the meaning of words and the hairsplitting differences that can divide a country between just and unjust. I play devil’s advocate and ask him to tell me why civil unions and marriage can’t be equated.
“People say, ‘Oh, it’s just semantics,’ and I say, ‘Yeah, but law is semantics.’ The word ‘marriage’ has so much social capital that we are not afforded,” Brandon explains. “Our children will have to say, what, ‘My parents are unioned’?” He grins from ear to ear as if he’s just found another way to make this complicated topic make sense in a simple and common way. I feel hopeful hearing such a young voice make our argument so clearly and convincingly.
“Government time and time again shapes society. When the courts ruled that disallowing interracial marriage was unconstitutional, over 70 percent of the population still wanted that discrimination.” He then points out that polling nowadays suggests that closer to 50 percent of our population is opposed to gay marriage, a much smaller number. “We’re way behind in terms of this movement,” he says. His words have a rallying effect. I feel compelled to immediately call my senator and register my voice along with his. This, I think, is the true mark of a natural leader.
A BRIGHTER FUTURE
The more I talk with Brandon, the more I try to stay out of the way with questions and simply let him tell me one story after another. His energy and ambition seem boundless. His attitude is positive even when I return to the topic of his family. When I ask whether he thinks they will ever reconcile, he becomes quiet for a moment and then responds.
“I’ve had to calm that storm in me that might have been angry or resentful, or even felt pity for my life. I’ve said to myself, I’m not going to be a victim. I’m going to use this. And what I see happening is the Divine giving space for [my parents and me] to grow. When two strong viewpoints come together, some time apart for reflection can be good. Do I have hard feelings? No, because I wouldn’t have had any of the wonderful things I’ve had without that experience.”
The future looks bright for Brandon. He’s just completed a self-help memoir and is shopping it around to publishers. He has just been made a contributing editor at myoutspirit.com, a gay faith-based site where he has regularly blogged about his experiences on the road. He is enrolled in online classes at Penn State, where he is pursuing a degree in organizational leadership. Something tells me he already knows much of what they can teach him.
He is considering a move to D.C., to be closer to the political center of our nation. I ask him where he gets the drive to do so much, to reach for so much. His response is just like all his others: simple and from the heart.
“I didn’t want to grow up and regret anything, not be bold enough or brave enough,” says Brandon. “I just want to move towards what I’m really passionate about and do as many wonderful things and meet as many wonderful people as possible.”
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For Brandon's issue—or any other back issue— order online here! Want more pics? Check out our sexy exclusive online gallery!
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Instinct Online 
written by Marty in Chicago on October 01, 2007
Brandon, keep up the good work.
written by bff on October 01, 2007
uh mah gah! MY BFF, SOOOOO PROUD!
written by jbaby on October 01, 2007
BK! Sooooooo much. JBaby
written by Marc on October 01, 2007
Brandon -
I love you so much and I'm so proud of you!
Love,
Your dearest sester Marc
written by a genuine human being on October 02, 2007
Could you be more obvious about using GLBT platforms to launch your personal career? You are completely milking the system by playing up the "poor, abused, had a bad life, christian queer" act. You only care about yourself, your career, and getting attention. And that's really sad.
written by bff on October 02, 2007
Genuine Human Being,
What's really sad is that you are jealous and ignorant enough to think such a thing about a person you dont even know, nor will you ever. What's interesting is no matter what is said, good or bad, it will make the message clearer that even in our own community we have people who cant stop judging others. He preaches love and compassion, you preach anger and resentment. I suggest you sort out your priorities before you make such a bold comment about someone you dont even know.
Namaste
written by Vince C on October 02, 2007
yay brandon! love you!!
written by Vince P. on October 02, 2007
Brandon!!! Vince and I are sooo proud of you! Love you and miss you!
written by Peterparker on October 03, 2007
What a handsome, generous young man! I am so happy to have someone like Brandon out there representing--and fighting for--our community! Way to go, brandon!
written by Frankie on October 04, 2007
Brandon!!!!!!
UGH! Amazing. Im so proud of you hun and I couldn't be more happier to say that I know you and that your doing amazing things for yourself and for the country. keep doing it!!
written by Cesar Escudero on October 05, 2007
Alterior motives much?
Genuine Human Being, I couldn't have said it better myself.
written by DenverDee on October 05, 2007
Why are you people hating on a handsome, hard working young man? Because he's handsome? Because he's hardworking?
Jealous much?
written by Ken on October 06, 2007
Brandon - way to go. Don't ever give up and don't pay attention to some of the idiot losers who will try to bring you down. you've got a lot to be proud of - you've come a long way - just don't ever give up.
written by bff on October 06, 2007
Why are people so hateful and jealous. People only say what they need to hear themselves say! Its really pathetic. Until the day they reach a higher level of consciousness they will continue down a destructive unhappy path. Its truly sad, i feel for you...i hope you will grow from this place one day.
written by Christian (my name) on October 07, 2007
Brandon ... very simple ... Marry Me ?
written by CJ on October 07, 2007
I am a middle-aged straight woman with two straight sons. I would be proud to have a son like Brandon. It's his parent's loss. What a loss it is.
written by PreepooP on October 08, 2007
I am SO proud of my big brudder!
Way to Go BK!
keep your head out of the laundry basket and you'll do wonders!!! XO
Hallelujah!
written by john fahrner on October 13, 2007
hey brandon lol remember elementy lol and the insedent with the pencial lol well anyways good for u man congrats i kinda went through the same thing man so good for u
written by kew7 on October 13, 2007
HEY YOU ARE A BLESSED MAN- NO MATTER HOW YOU FAMILY TREATED YOU- I HOPE YOU CAN LEAD FUTURE YOUNG GAY- AMERICAN AND NON-HOMOSEXUL GAY AMERICAN INTO SOCIAL AWARNESS AND STOP USING THE LORD TO CONDEMN THEIR LOVE ONES....
written by herbie on October 14, 2007
your good enough despite of the hardworking that you encountered you never give up. keep it up.until next.
written by jbaby on October 16, 2007
The best friend ever. A constant source of support and encouragement. You deserve all the success that the world is giving you Brandon. Sew metch!!
written by Milo on October 17, 2007
I think that you're a great guy doing great things. You are a strong and courageous person to be doing what you do. Thank you for supporting and making a positive change for the LGBT community. You rock!
written by RyanW. on October 18, 2007
Just keep it up! We are so proud of having people like you to stand up for us.
written by greg on October 23, 2007
hot hot hot...
written by greg on October 23, 2007
way to go brandon you are doing well. take care of you and believe in you. always. greg
written by Todd Ritchie on October 23, 2007
Brandon, to say that you are an inspiration would be far too trite, but you are and keep that heart of gold!
written by You know.. on October 26, 2007
What little I knew about you. I wish you nothing but the best. Your an amazing person.. Glad we got to hang out before I moved to florida..
written by Jason from Canada on October 26, 2007
Brandon sounds like an amazing guy, I wish I had the guts to come out to my partents at 14, admire you.
written by Jim in FLA on August 08, 2008
KUDOS to BRANDON KNEEFEL! Where you thought you may have had OCD, I always had a problem transposing numbers. Where you came out at 14, I came out at 41! Ah, well....but I sure made up for lost time! LOL!!!
Take care and good luck in all you do!