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THE MAN IN HIS LIFE
J.P. met him early last summer at an Instinct-sponsored party for Gay Days where J.P. was signing autographs and socializing with the crowd. J.P. and the X Games athlete shared mutual friends and an affinity for sports, and their chemistry struck like lightning.
 “I just immediately noticed him,” J.P. recalls. “It’s not anything I expected. Physically, he’s not my type at all. But he was looking at me, too. And suddenly I became really shy…but he had the cutest smile.”
The pair started talking and really hit it off. They spent the rest of the Gay Days trip together and had a blast. “It was like I had known him for 20 years. I was so comfortable,” J.P. says.
But after the weekend was over, J.P. went back to L.A, and his new friend stayed in Florida. “I just thought, Well, he was great, it was great, but it’ll never happen.” The two stayed in touch by talking on the phone almost nightly for about two months, but too many miles lay between them.
Soon J.P. booked another appearance on the east coast—in Atlanta to be exact—and it would be this gig that would bring them together once more. His new friend flew up from Florida to meet him. “I thought, Wow, I really don’t know him. I like him. I’ve talked to him, but we only spent that one weekend together. What if we hate each other now? What if that was just a honeymoon phase?,” J.P. remembers.
But as fate would have it, both men fell heads over heels for the other. “I was very selfish my whole life, so this is something I never did,” says J.P. “Not for a girl. Not for a guy. But this guy…this guy had me!” he admits with a laugh. The pair now live together in Marina Del Rey, California.
“Every single one of my friends was like, ‘Wow, dude, what are you doing? You just met this guy.’ And I’m like, ‘You know what? I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m just doing it. I like this guy. He’s amazing. I’m tired of being selfish and thinking only about myself…I’m just doing it.’”
The first month of cohabitating was great, according to J.P., but by the second month things got “really real” he says with laugh. They got to know each other—warts and all. “But you get through it,” J.P. says, “because it’s worth it. It’s really worth it.”
I ask J.P. if he’s in love and there’s an immediate smile and his cheeks get flushed. Whether he’s going to admit it or not, is not at issue. The answer is all over his face. He chastises me playfully for going there and turns the question on me, then he gets serious: “It’s just not in my character to say it…growing up with the way I did and losing my mom, and being in this butch Latino culture, you’re just not supposed to say it, I thought… especially not to another guy. But I love him so much. I know it’s a cliché, but he’s such a beautiful person inside and out…no, he’s not beautiful on the outside. He’s hot on the outside!” he says with another big smile. “Hot.”
REVISITING HIS FAMILY
J.P. is spending more time with family these days. The pressure of hiding his true self no longer stymies a healthy connection there. He and his older brother hang out regularly, drink beer and shoot the breeze. J.P.’s brother has always been supportive—been like a father to him—but ever since J.P. came out, that bond seems even further strengthened.
His brother’s kids (a 7-year old niece and 5-year-old nephew) are now a staple of J.P.’s hectic life and will often ride their bikes over to his place for impromptu visits “My niece is a little Janice Dickinson already! She has no reservations at all!”
Do they know their uncle J.P. is on TV?
“Oh yeah! They’ll make fun of me,” J.P. says, now initiating that sing-songy taunting voice kids love so much, “‘You’re in your underwear, uncle Johnny!’ And they laugh. They don’t think it’s cool. They think it’s funny!”
Do they know that you’re gay?
“You know what? I don’t know, to tell you the truth. But I’ll tell ya, one of the reasons I really love my brother…I have a story for you…” J.P. trails off to collect his thoughts.
He goes on to tell me about last year’s Christmas brunch, where J.P. and his boyfriend were sitting at the table with his brother, his sister-in-law and the two kids. “The kids have been over to my place a million times now and they’ve seen that there’s only one bedroom. They know that my boyfriend and I live together. They know that he’s my buddy, but I don’t know if they know he’s my boyfriend. So, of course, my niece, the little Janice Dickinson, asks, ‘Where do you guys sleep?’ I think she asked [my boyfriend], and we’re sitting there thinking, Oh my god, what do we say? I was ready to blurt out, ‘he sleeps on the couch’, or ‘we have a big bed that comes up from under the ground
only at night,’ or make up some other magical story,” J.P. laughs.
But before any of those thoughts were spoken, J.P.’s older brother chirped in very matter-of-factly, “He sleeps with Uncle Johnny. They share the same room.”
“Oh,” shrugged his niece before diving back into her breakfast. And that was that. “I was speechless,” says J.P. “I thought that was so cool that my brother did that. He has so much pride in me, he’s like leading the brigade, ya know?”
With help from his older brother, J.P.’s boyfriend has also been integrated into the extended family as well. “I was so nervous about introducing him to people. And it’s been amazing. I ask my brother, ‘What should I do? Should I bring him? And my brother has to keep me in check and say, ‘Why the hell wouldn’t you bring him? He’s a great guy.’”
“My aunts are hugging him and welcoming him, my uncles are talking shop with him, my grandma’s talking to him about how to cook certain foods—it’s her way of bonding—and it’s just left me floored. It’s really blown me away,” says J.P. with a proud grin. Speaking of the holidays and food brings me to a topic I can’t help but address: J.P.’s very apparent weight loss.
BODY IMAGES
My own mom has called me on several different occasions to voice her concern over J.P.’s weight loss: “Talk to him. Is he eating? Tell him he needs to be eating.” I use my mother as the scapegoat to lead into a question that has been on many more minds than just my mom’s. J.P. smiles obligingly, touched by the concern, but he assures me (and my mom)—as he has had to assure many family and friends—that he is fine, and fit and healthy.
When J.P. was on Survivor he says he weighed 205 lbs., about the same weight he remembers being for most of his adult life. When I met him for last year’s Instinct story, he says he weighed in at 195 lbs. But with his increasing opportunities in the modeling world J.P. knew he had to change his body.
“Everyone would say they loved my look, but…” J.P. trails off. It turns out that ‘but’ equaled about 30 lbs. “I wanted to make myself more versatile. So I took it upon myself to lose the weight.”
Today J.P. weighs in at 175 lbs. And despite any Internet reports to the contrary, he’s not doing drugs or starving himself. “I did everything right. Not wrong,” he points out. “Legally. Not illegally.” He doubled his time doing cardio and cut back lifting weights. He was very cautious of what he ate, and then he went on a detox where he cut out all meat, refined sugar, caffeine, alcohol, wheat glutin and dairy.
He lost seven pounds in his first week, and then the weight loss was more gradual in subsequent weeks. But he admits it’s a constant battle to keep the weight in check. “As an athlete, I’ve spent almost all my life telling myself to get big, be strong. Now I was telling my body to actually get smaller…it’s been a challenge.”
He is constantly thinking about the calories he’s consuming and what his body can burn more readily. “In Latino culture it’s all about eat, eat, eat and I’ve just completely gone the opposite route,” J.P. says.
I wonder how he feels in his new body.
“Weird,” he offers before a brief pause. “I like my new body. But it’s weird. I mean I have a waist size that I had in high school. Clothes just fit me differently now. My friends and family worry a little bit about me, but I’m okay. I want to go for modeling and this is what I’ve got to do.” But don’t get him wrong, he says with a laugh: “I want to eat! I want to eat a lot! I love eating.”
DIFFERENT LIFE, SAME MAN
The red carpet events, the public eye, the complimentary letters, the congratulatory e-mails—these are all things that could have inflated J.P.’s ego or made him lose sight of who he was or why he came out in the first place. But all of these things have served him well to remind him how important it is to stay grounded.
J.P. still coaches girls’ volleyball and enjoys it. He says his players are respectful of him and his sexuality. He knows this not because he has ever spoken about it with his players, but because their parents came up to him at a tournament, pulled him aside and told him quite fondly that both they and their kids were proud of J.P. for coming out in the magazine and on TV.
“They never gave me a glimpse that they even knew and I thought that was so neat,” J.P. says. “The whole time they knew, but respected me enough as their coach. And here I thought they might be giggling or pointing at me and whispering. To hear that my kids are of proud of me, too, is really cool.”
I’ve learned that taking risks is okay. And going after what you want is okay as long as you’re true to yourself and you have a good heart and you don’t hurt anyone in the process,” he says.
What’s been toughest?
“I think the part I’m still having a problem with is having people think that because I’m gay, I’m not a man,” J.P. explains. “When they know who I am as a person, they seem to like me and I don’t want that to change when I tell them I’m gay or reference a story and say, ‘Oh yeah, me and my boyfriend…’ I don’t want to ruin it. It’s my insecurity. I’m at fault. And I completely admit it. I don’t want to hide it. I want to change those perceptions and those thoughts. Even though I’ve come out, I think I still have a lot to come to terms with. And that’s just a part of the journey.”
It’s a journey J.P. is glad he’s finally able to embrace. “I am happy. I’m very happy. Now I get to experience life—my life—in the open with the people I love. I can be in a relationship with somebody and I don’t have to hide him, or call him my buddy or my friend. I can say, ‘Yeah, this is my guy.’”
As for his future, J.P. will continue to coach volleyball and model through Ford, and he intends to keep his mind and his options open. “I have a loyalty and devotion to the kids that I coach. I never wanted to be that guy who abandoned where he came from. It’s an event one night, then waking up early to sweat it out with these kids in the gym, then an afternoon modeling gig or whatever. I’m crazy busy all the time, but it keeps me grounded. It keeps me real.”
And something tells me J.P. wouldn’t want it any other way.
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To get a copy of J.P.'s issue—or any other back-issue—order online here!
PLUS - check out exclusive Web-only outtakes from J.P.'s photo shoot here!
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Instinct Online 
written by grefen on March 02, 2008
to be free from your burden you must be your self, and you made it, you are free , but to be able to experience the true meaning of freedom and happiness, you must let go of your hatred that you have towards your father..... i know that i dont have the right to say this, but all i want is to see you happey than ever....and im proud of you... ill always be here supporting you..... a fan and looking forward to be your friend.klinterg111_2000@yahoo.com
written by grefen on March 02, 2008
last night i watch janice dickinson modeling agency, i saw you making your big step to wards the open world and i stop and think for a while. and as i watch and hear your dicision, at that very moment,i feel happy for you and proud....made that dicision you need a lots of gut's and you did it..... just do take care of your self mate.. and do not mind what others my think of you. be your self alway...... i wish that we will meet someday... and if that moment in my life came..... i well be thanking GOD for that..... GOD bless you...... your fan klinterg111_2000
written by www.myspace.com/victorcordell on March 02, 2008
jp your awsome me and my boyfirend just really love you to death as a personhope to see you at the partyies there year for instinct
written by Adrian on March 02, 2008
who is JP's current boyfriend?
written by Bob Hall on March 03, 2008
I have been gay for 100's of years and one thing has never changed: Gay men like straight men. Take JP for an example, he WAS a straight (looking) healthy and masculine man. Now that he is out he looks like a skinny china doll, with more jewelry than Cher would wear. WHY? I liked him when he looked straight and like the rest of the clones.
written by edgar on March 03, 2008
gay men like straight men? Sounds like a road to disappointment to me. Looking like a straight guy? How about looking like a gay man...who doesn't wear "more jewelry than Cher." JP is hot every which way!
written by jamiey on March 04, 2008
He's still good looking even with the weight loss. I'm looking forward to reading the new story on him.
written by IZANASHI on March 07, 2008
i love him..he is so cute n well every1 deserve to be happy with what their r doing so people back off..let he decude 4 his live and whatbetter for him ok..good luck JP!!
written by tsk on March 09, 2008
jp calderon's personal story isn't anything profound. also, i thought what occurred in janice dickinson's show (the instinct photoshoot episode) was extremely tacky. coming out is a personal decision. so what does he do? why, have a photo shoot! the crocodile tears before the cliffhanger (episode prior to photoshoot) was beyond over the top. it was more fake and staged than any of janice's body parts. and can jp please drop the "i don't think i'm attractive." act. it is beyond grating. jp's faux humility is awkward at best since he's not an actor. he's a model. walk on a catwalk, smile/pout for the camera and go to parties. don't pretend you don't consider yourself attractive when you model.
written by lola on March 11, 2008
hehe u cute
written by raymund mario chan on March 11, 2008
im raymund of Philippines. the first time i saw j.p at janice d. agency show i totally appreciate how he handle himself infront of the cam and his agency and bosses.. i really admired the way he stand on his way of life.. but one of the episode asking him if he want to be post in the instinct magazine but the consequence is he must be a gay men.. i cried when i saw j.p had a teary eyed.. until now im still waiting for that episode where j.p will adhere on the offer..
on my opinion on that offer to j.p i totally accept on what his decision...
J.P im very proud of you.. and i like the way you mold yourself to be free..
your not just free you express and open what is right..
we gay men or homo... be proud and make a difference..
aim high...
i salute you j.p
written by Alex on March 12, 2008
Hellooooooooooo JP, I'm Alex, the 19-years-old boy, one of the hundreds of your best best best fan. I read a lot about you on the net, watch a the whole episodes on Janice Dickinson modelling Agency and found the best among them. I was so surprised when i learnt that you are a gay man, but i understood your feelings cuz I'm so. The fact that you accepted the job with Instinct magazine was your best bet cuz this way you have come out of your annoying shell, so I hope for you all the happiness and luck in your professional and intimate life that I'm deprived of in view of my religion's strict rules(Islam),bey...
written by david gee on March 13, 2008
Why do people have to be angry or annoyed with JP because of the way he came out? Whether it was self-promotion or not, it's obvious that his coming out has helped 100s if not thousands of people. That takes balls, tsk. Stop whining so much. JP is pretty cool for what he did in my book.
written by jyruz on March 23, 2008
Good luck JP! I always watch JD Modeling Agency...I'm a fan of yours here in the hilippines...jyruz@yahoo.com'>Philippines...jyruz@yahoo.com
written by marlo colastre on March 24, 2008
i love you j.p calderon!!!
you're the hottest gay guy ever!
http://cola69.multiply.com/photos
written by Peter on March 25, 2008
I'd like to be your friend, JP!!! Success!!! Something in Brazil tell me...kiterec@hotmail.com
written by EDDIEMAN76@HOTMAIL.COM on March 31, 2008
HEY JP THIS IS ONE OF YOUR FANS,ITS A FRESH START MY FRIEND,YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT WAY NOW,FOLLOW YOUR GOALS,AND DREAMS. DON'T LOKE BACK IS A NEW YOU.A BETTER JP ENJOY EVERY SEC,MIN,DAY,MONTH AND YEAR OF YOUR NEW LIFE.
YOUR FAN AND FRIEND EDDIE
written by qklgc on April 11, 2008
i am chinese in bejing, i like this story very much, and I love JP, he advanced the civilization and maked human life colorful and real
written by jon pichon on April 30, 2008
oooh..
tell us more about your boyfriend JP!
me, myself want to know who this is and how you fell in love with him... ha ha ha!
i also wanna see his face!
^^
-jon
written by jon pichon on April 30, 2008
gah....
I think I'm in love...
I kept on thinking 'about yah!
take care!^^
-jon
written by deejay signs on May 10, 2008
He is such an amazing person... He has grown so much in so many ways
Deejay Signs