DATING DILEMMA
I just found out that the person I have been dating for the past seven months is bipolar, taking medication and seeing a therapist. When he told me out of the blue that he was no longer attracted to me, I was shocked. What I have read about bipolar people suggests to me that he is going through some type of cycle—now that he feels better about himself, I am no longer needed. Can a bipolar person have a successful relationship? Am I unfairly blaming our breakup on his illness?
“Confused” via Internet

Bipolar disorder is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes mood disorders characterized by the presence of one or more episodes of mania (elevated) and depressive episodes. Some of these episodes can be separated by “normal” moods. You are describing depression and mania swiftly alternating, which is referred to as “rapid cycling.” I do believe that individuals with bipolar disorder can be successful in love and life. You should understand that it is never going to be easy, and the disease will not go away. Dedication, proper treatment, a strong support system and educating yourself on the disease can help your bipolar partner manage his symptoms. If you both are completely committed to go through the hard times, together and separately, you two can have a happy life. (In addition to Instinct, add Patty Duke’s A Brilliant Madness: Living With Manic-Depressive Illness to your reading list.) However, let’s not forget that relationships are two-way streets. Have you taken a personal inventory of your character defects before blaming the breakup on his illness? After all, people fall out of love every day without medical reasons. Now that you’re armed with some facts, talk to him to find out the real reasons for the breakup. —PF

VIDEO VIXEN
I’ve been chatting and sharing videos with a man online. He asked if I would consider making a video for him in which I would masturbate with one of his used condoms. I think this would be hot, but could I contract STDs or HIV from a used condom?
JT in Pittsburgh, PA

The Internet has certainly ramped up the ingenuity of gay men’s sex lives. But let’s talk facts first. Semen has the potential to transmit viruses like HIV, but also other STDs, including gonorrhea, syphilis and chlamydia. There is some validity to the old wives’ tale that once the air “hits the virus” it dies, but this is not true for all organisms. The fact is that the likelihood of contracting an STD is low except for hepatitis B, which has the capability to live outside the body for longer periods of time. The question then is, why would you want to masturbate using a stranger’s semen that has been cultivating in a warm environment like a condom? If you are using the Internet as fantasy, then continue the mystique by using a clean, fresh condom. How will he know? Call me old-fashioned, but body fluid in a warm incubator like a condom could cultivate the growth of some bacteria I wouldn’t want to put anywhere near my sensitive skin. —FS

Always ask your doctor, but we’ll try our best to heal you. Write us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

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