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 SING OUT, LOUISE!
I’m an aspiring drag queen and I need your help picking a fun, campy song! I’ve only done drag once before and my “drag mother” picked the song, but I want to find the perfect one without his help this time. I’m not good enough to pull off a great ballad. Help!
Charles Albuquerque, NM
Let me recommend to you Red Peters (who is not a drag queen) at redpeters.com. His first album has my favorite song of his, “How’s Your Whole…Family” as well as other fun songs like “Blow Me (You Hardly Even Know Me).” You can also check out his other album “Ol’ Blue Balls Is Back.” Personally, I’m dying for a good drag version of “I Don’t Just Love You Down There” so we’ll all be checking YouTube for your act, Charles. Don’t let us down.
A WEIGHTY QUESTION
I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for a little over eight years. When we first met, we weren’t at all fit. We only cared about that once we moved to California. A year ago, after we both lost tons of weight, my partner had an affair. Since then, I’ve noticed many questionable e-mail and website accounts. Whenever I question him, I get accused of not trusting him. I’m struggling with terminating the relationship, but our history is important to me and I love him dearly. Can you please help me figure out how to either save our relationship or to end it?
William via Internet
A person who’s been heavy all along gets used to being treated a certain less-than-celebrated way. Trust me, I know. Often strangers, store clerks, and other gay guys don’t even register your presence. Suddenly, after losing weight, your lo-fat honeybun is getting looks and attention like he’s never gotten before. It’s very difficult learning to deal with “Well, hello there, handsome!” after a lifetime of “No, not him, the one behind the fat guy.” It went to his head. Or, from what you’re telling us here, both heads. There are big and complex psychological issues being played out here between the both of you. They have to do with self-esteem, body image, resentment, coping with change and, of course, reassessing the depth of your relationship. My advice is to seek couples counseling. That way you’ll be able to come to terms with the trust issues, get a handle on how all this is affecting your feelings and behavior, and have some guidance as you decide what you want your relationship to be—whether that’s this relationship…or your next one.
LOVE BEHIND BARS
I have a friend who’s in prison. He still requests sexy pictures of me (I’m a woman), but he’s having feelings for gay men. The thing is, he’s been straight until now. He is struggling and asked me to ask you for advice. His friends tell him to go with his heart, but he’s scared. Can you suggest a book or literature that I can get to him?
Christel Pflugerville, TX
In situations where unnatural populations of men are together all the time—prisons, deserted islands, college fraternities—it’s not at all unusual for guys who have previously expressed their sexuality as straight to become attracted to what’s around them. The sexual urge remains, but presented with just men as an outlet for it, many discover that their sexuality is not nearly as rigid as they thought (or as rigid as other parts of their bodies). I’d suggest some of the literature about bisexuality such as The Bisexual Option by Fritz Klein, MD, or Dual Attraction: Understanding Bisexuality by Weinberg, Williams & Pryor. There are also sites on the Internet like teengrowth.com (search on the site under “sex”) for questioning teens that might help. Even though your friend may be an adult, he sure sounds like he’s got a lot of the same kinds of questions as teens in this area. In the meantime, do what feels good. He’s in prison, what else has he got to do?
WELL, FEED ME TO THE LESBIANS!
I’m a totally straight female, but I’ve been getting hit on nonstop by lesbians as long as I can remember. I’ve always wondered what it is about me turns these luscious ladies on. Please help!
Blossom via Internet
My horny lesbian friends tell me that would be your XX chromosomes. Get those fixed and you’ll be fine.
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You got troubles? Of course you do! We all do. But Joel’s here to help you and your man out. E-mail Joel at advice@instinctmagazine.com
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Instinct Online 
written by Noi Cruz on July 06, 2007
if your man cheats once and then he hids things(after eight years together he should trust you)you should leave him.
I know how hard it may seem
written by Crystal on November 28, 2007
I am a woman, but I've been thinking of becoming a Drag Queen. I know it's a man thing, but I love everything about it! I'm in a business where I have to get dolled up and perform anyway so it wouldn't be that much of a stretch. And I'm aways getting mistaken for a man dressed as a lady. I'm a very fem, glamourous girl and I like to hang around "Boystown" so I understand, lol. How can I go about getting a new career?