Written by Joel Perry - Illustration by Jane Sanders
Tuesday, 01 July 2008
SAY "CHEESE!"
Guys check me out because of my great smile, but what they don’t know is that I have full dentures because my teeth were knocked out in a bad car accident last year. I am only 29. Should I tell a guy about my teeth when I start talking to him?
Jeff via Internet
Well, not when you start talking to him. That would make you all about your dentures, and there’s more to you than that. If the smile brings a guy around, enjoy that. When you feel comfortable enough with him (10 minutes later, third date—whatever), engineer your “coming out” moment so that you control it. Bring the conversation around to driving, casually mentioning your recovery from your accident. You know, number of bones broken, organs punctured and teeth on the dashboard. Then make a light joke of it, like, “Yeah, so the bad news is these are all fake. But the good news is there’s no chance of scraping, dear!”
IS THIS A TEST?
I broke up with my first love eight years ago. We live in different states now, but I learned he’s dating someone, which is okay. I’m dating someone, too. What’s confusing is that he told me his new boyfriend is moving to the city where I live, but the only person who could make him happy is me. I’ve waited so long to hear him say that, but since we’re both seeing different people, I wonder if he’s lonely or testing me. In my heart, I always knew he was “the one,” but I’m scared to run into him with his new boyfriend—the gay scene in my city is very small. Please advise me, Joel.
“Confused” via Internet
Nice of him to say, but he’s a day late and a dollar short. Now, if he were moving back to your city, I’d say, absolutely give it a go. But he ain’t. And he only seems to like guys who are conveniently distant. It’s the job of our first love to break our heart so that we’ll learn just how important and serious this love thing really is. I know you’re carrying a torch for this guy, but you have each moved on. He’s not a missed opportunity but a lesson learned. Accept that and start looking forward instead of constantly looking back. Besides, if he’s in another state, you’re not going to run into him that often. True, the first time you do, it’ll feel rotten. But the next time, not quite so bad. And the time after that, even less.
RING-A-DING-DING!
I plan to propose to my boyfriend in August. Unfortunately, I’m having difficulties finding a good place to buy a ring. Do you have any suggestions on what to buy? I like white gold, but I’m not sure if I want to get him a band or if it’s more traditional to get something else.
Charlie Baither Sterling, IL
“Traditional?” Darling, you’re gay. “Traditional” kinda went out the window around the time you got your “man to man” on. Let that hetero baggage go and enjoy the freedom of creating your own fabulous traditions! When I married my spouse, Fred, we ordered our rings online from weddingbands.com. It was simple, with no high-pressure salespeople trying to up-sell us. And our beautiful rings came a week later. So relax. No matter what kind of a ring you get him, he’ll be crazy about it because it came from you.
COMIN’ TO CAROLINA?
I live in Tampa. For two years I’ve been talking to this guy in North Carolina. He’ll be flying to see me for 10 days and then flying home. What do I do? I love this man and want to be with him for the rest of my life, but I can’t do long-distance relationships. I wanna be able to hold him and cuddle and help him through the hard times. Please help, Joel!
Robert Gray Tampa, FL
Sweetheart, listen to yourself. If you “can’t do long-distance relationships,” it’s pretty much game over unless one of you moves to the other’s location. If you really want him, you have 10 days to entice him to Tampa, or to decide you want to become a Tar Heel. If neither of you is willing to relocate, well, then you have the great ego boost of having a buddy willing to travel hundreds of miles just to nuzzle for a week and a half. There are far worse things!
... written by Was he (she) worth it on August 06, 2008 at 02:49 AM
Check out the new gay athem " was she worth it" by Jovonnie... This song is great and so true....
... written by bento' american on August 15, 2008 at 03:53 PM
hey 1st time here comment's mack for interesting reading, just wish i was in a spot like that last comment I'm M.W.C.
... written by Lucian on August 22, 2008 at 09:10 AM
Hi There, i live in Singapore, Its been awhile i notice myself in the closet, so probably its nt the time for me to out of it, and im scare wht would happen to my family and friends if there knew tht i am gay? As i heard frm my friend before, there are kinda anti-gay. so part of the reason im worry too. give me some opinoin, wht should i do??
and one more, some guys said im quite goodlooking as if im asian young guy next door type. bt i hv some problem , i dont have a perfect teeth and im hairless even my eyebrow are less. so it make me lack of confidence sometimes.
i never dated before coz im kinda lack of confidence about my real apperance whn there get to know me more, part of the reason its because of my teeth...and im scare of been hurt , its SCARY!
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written by Was he (she) worth it on August 06, 2008 at 02:49 AM
Check out the new gay athem " was she worth it" by Jovonnie... This song is great and so true....
written by bento' american on August 15, 2008 at 03:53 PM
hey 1st time here comment's mack for interesting reading, just wish i was in a spot like that last comment I'm M.W.C.
written by Lucian on August 22, 2008 at 09:10 AM
Hi There, i live in Singapore, Its been awhile i notice myself in the closet, so probably its nt the time for me to out of it, and im scare wht would happen to my family and friends if there knew tht i am gay? As i heard frm my friend before, there are kinda anti-gay. so part of the reason im worry too.
give me some opinoin, wht should i do??
and one more, some guys said im quite goodlooking as if im asian young guy next door type. bt i hv some problem , i dont have a perfect teeth and im hairless even my eyebrow are less. so it make me lack of confidence sometimes.
i never dated before coz im kinda lack of confidence about my real apperance whn there get to know me more, part of the reason its because of my teeth...and im scare of been hurt , its SCARY!
so should i be more open to relation?
any opinion? thx