 Dear Instinct,
My mom is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I used to live in New York City, and I became addicted to cocaine. When my mom found out, she decided to pull an intervention! She nabbed me up and took me to a spiritual healing retreat in Hawaii that is owned and operated by gay men. It was called Kalani (kalani.com ), and it promotes diversity and love through the spirit of aloha. For two months, my mother and I spent our days in the sun, learning yoga, taking art and aromatherapy classes and bonding at night, listening to the roar of the ocean. My mother is an avid PFLAG supporter and has been the one person who has always believed in me. Thanks to her, I am now clean and sober. First she gave me life, then she saved it.
Evan Brienza
Los Angeles, CA
How did Evan’s mom find the strength to swoop in and save her son?
“First of all, you get really scared and confused. Then you get angry. The adrenaline kicks in and you say, ‘Damn it, this is my son!’” Arleen says. “I knew the core of Evan was his intelligence, his creativity and his humanity. I believed in him and knew all he needed was other options.”
“Had I not come to her, I would still be living the same lifestyle,” Evan says. “I’m not proud of my mistakes, but I have learned a lot about life because of them. I still struggle with temptation, but my life is back on track and I can finally say I like the person I am becoming.”
We wanted to give Arleen a chance to address any parents out there with children struggling with addictions.
“Every family faces a crisis—or two or three—in a lifetime,” she says. “First, understand the concept of addictions and understand that we all have them. Don’t lose sight of yourself or your child and don’t stand in judgment. Stand in belief that we are spiritual beings having a human experience: Some of it hurts, some of it is really scary, but somewhere there lies a gift.”
Today Evan is working to stay healthy and happy and volunteers for Project Angel Food, GLAAD and the Trevor Project and is working to start a record label.
“You can be as successful as you believe you will be. I overcame a weight problem. I overcame a drinking and drug problem. Life sometimes doesn’t turn out like you expect,” he says, grateful for the help of a very special person. “At the end of the day, she will always be my mom, and I know she is the one person—until I find a husband—who will love me unconditionally.”
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If you would like to nominate your mom (or dad), send an e-mail to parent@instinctmag.com
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Instinct Online 
written by Corey M. on May 01, 2008 at 04:20 PM
Thank God for your mom. She gave you life, and then saved it. No one will give you the unconditional love of your mother. Not even that potential husband. Thank you for sharing your story. Just know that this is going to save someone's life!
written by Gary O'Brien on May 01, 2008 at 10:54 PM
hey Evan and Arleen...I know you both personally and find you both to be a blessing in my life..as I attended Kalani myself last summer and had the opportunity to meet the wondrous energy and love of Arleen's spirit there..then have gotten to know Evan in LA. I am so proud of your story of unconditional love and i trust that my Mom would do the same for me as she , too, is an amazingly strong and spiritual soul! Rock on to you both..I love you! xo Aloha GARY IN LA
written by Dana Luebke on May 02, 2008 at 09:03 AM
Evan - Thank you for sharing your wonderful example of the power of love, understanding and commitment to change lives - we met Arleen at Kalani and experienced her beautiful spirit, love and boundless energy. She is now our dear friend. May you be the second person to love yourself unconditionally and may you realize your dreams. Dana
written by Bruce McVicker on May 02, 2008 at 06:05 PM
Evan, I work with your mother in the small school district in northern California where you received much of your education. People here know her in much the same way as you describe. Your mother's level of commitment has made a huge difference in the lives of hundreds of children who will remember her forever. You are particularly blessed because you will know her forever.
written by Marlene Rae Sharon on May 02, 2008 at 07:44 PM
I met, Evan and Emily, before I ever met Arleen.
I know great kids when I meet them and after meeting and working with Arleen, I know why they are great kids.I am lucky to have worked with Arleen Rae and am pleased that she has such a wonderful world of adventure and travel to look forward to! A good soul, heart and head deserves rewards! Thanks, Evan for letting me tell everyone about your mom.
written by Peteringwi on May 16, 2008 at 09:54 AM
I was so moved by this selection of Mom Of The Month that it made me cry out of sheer happiness that a parent would love their child/dren so unconditionally. She exemplefies (yes, I know a few big words) what parenting is all about. Kudos to her and son!!
written by Kysa Brown on October 23, 2008 at 02:53 PM
All I have to say is 2 wonderful people from the time we ever met, which I think was about 20 years ago!! I'm glad you two are so close! It's always a special thing!!
written by carlo milan on November 13, 2008 at 04:40 PM
im glad to see your relationship with your mom is strong,......im very moved and touched by your story and i hope others can take from what u experienced and learn from you. My heart goes out to you and your mom.