The 10 Most WTF Christmas Songs/Videos We Found In 20 Minutes

It’s the most wonderful time of the year — a month that we spend hours glued to our computers, trolling YouTube throughout the work day because, quite frankly, productivity went out the window after Thanksgiving and interacting with co-workers wearing tacky Christmas sweaters is not an option.

We haven’t been totally slouching, though. In fact, doing all this “research” enabled us to bring you the below roundup of jaw-dropping, mind-bending, totally WTF holiday-themed clips. Consider it our present to you…and be sure to re-gift to all your friends!

 

1. Nirvana & RuPaul, “We Wish You A Merry Christmas”

Okay, we have to admit, watching an offscreen RuPaul guide the guys from Nirvana through a round of “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” in 1993 — while they hold up cardboard cutouts of the drag diva — is more of a pure delight than a WTF moment. A truly off-the-wall, bizarre delight, mind you, but it’ll force you to smile, nonetheless. Kurt, Dave and Krist looked truly thrilled to be in the presence of such beauty.

 

2. Hotpantz, “Give You One For Christmas”

This video really is a gift.  “It’s better, we believe, to give than to receive,” chirp randy, scantily-clad British tarts Hotpantz in this slutted-up Yuletide offering. Insert (wink!) “ho ho ho” joke here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. The Killers, “Don’t Shoot Me Santa”

How Brandon Flowers wound up tied up in garland to a chair outside a trailer in the Mojave Desert by an axe-wielding Santa Claus is never really explained here. But thank goodness the rest of the Killers rescue the band’s frontman before he’s buried alive. So festive!

 

4. The Cheeky Girls, “Have A Cheeky Christmas”

Is Dracula’s castle missing two hookers, by chance?

 

5. C3P0 & R2-D2, “Sleigh Ride”

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away — known as 1980 — an album called Christmas In The Stars: Star Wars Christmas Album was released. On it, actor Anthony Daniels reprises his role as everyone’s favorite robo-fop C3PO and teaches R2-D2 how to sing, via the joyous dulcet tones of “Sleigh Ride.” Bravo, George Lucas.

 

6. Fast Food Rockers, “I Love Christmas”

Cheesy trio FFR were off to a “promising” career start with their debut hit single “Fast Food Song” in 2003, but things really took a turn for the South Pole when they released this holiday-themed bauble months later. How could it have all gone so terribly wrong? Let’s watch above and find out…

 

7. Mr. Blobby, “Christmas In Blobbyland”

The drugs in England during the ‘90s were THE BEST.

 

8. Aqua, “Spin Me A Christmas”

Boy and girls, if you’re not up to speed on the true meaning of Christmas, perhaps the part in this video where the helium-voiced “Barbie Girl” songstress sits on drunken Santa’s lap and gives him an erection will school you.

 

9. The Hives & Cyndi Lauper, “A Christmas Duel”

Were they shooting for a modern day “Fairytale Of New York” with this one?  Whatever the case may be, hearing Cyndi croon “I bought no tree this year, and I slept with your brother / I wrecked your Daddy's car, and went down on your Mother” sure gives the holidays an extra twinkle, no?

 

10. Mariah Carey, “Auld Lang Syne”

Did Mariah realize when she shot this video while pregnant with twins (with her Mimis on full display), against the backdrop of CGI fireworks, that it would go on to become such a camp classic? Bonus points go to the diva for emptying both pockets and putting at least $12 toward the production budget. 

 

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