Nigel Campbell's picture

Anti-Gay Former Puerto Rican Senator Comes Out As Gay

​In 2011, conservative Roberto Arango resigned from the Puerto Rican Senate after his nude pics from Grindr were released to the press. 

Don't shed too many tears though. Arango's political career was filled with anti-gay votes and outright mocking of the gay community. 

Blabbeando writes:

In 2004 he mocked a San Juan mayoral candidate during a political rally by implying he was gay and holding a plastic duck and making quacking noises when speaking against him ("pato" or duck in Spanish is a word often used as a slur against gays in Puerto Rico).

In 2007 he embraced a conservative religious coalition and personally received thousands of signatures they had collected against same-sex civil unions as he vowed to defend so-called Christian values in the Puerto Rican senate and prevent changes to the civil code.  That year he also led efforts to amend the Puerto Rican constitution to ban recognition of any unions that were not those between a man and a woman (the effort ultimately failed).

And in 2009 he defended secret efforts by conservative colleagues in the Senate to pass a bill banning adoption rights for same-sex couples as I documented in a previous post.

Well, nearly three years later, Arango has come out as gay in a radio interview with Noti UNO:

Here's the conversation:

REPORTER: Following the controversy over the photos there was a lot of speculation about your sexual preference. Isn't it time for you to state whether or not you are a homosexual?
ROBERTO ARANGO: Well, the day someone asks me I will give a reply. In that respect, I have nothing to hide.
REPORTER: Are you a homosexual?
ROBERTO ARANGO: Yes. And on top of that I am a businessman. On top of that I am a father, I am a brother, I am a son. On top of that I like doing community work and volunteering. On top of that I like helping different communities. I like it and I am someone who likes to bring changes and progress and to give opportunities to those who want it.
REPORTER: When did you realize you were one.
ROBERTO ARANGO: I think it happened when I accepted it and I may not be a psychologist or a specialist in that field...
REPORTER: And did you accept it before your exit from the Senate?
ROBERTO ARANGO: No. It was after. My exit from the Senate and the process itself was what led me to accept myself.

We guess he didn't know he was gay when he was mocking gays and voting to pass anti-gay legislation. Glad he's had that lightbulb moment...

According to Blabbeando, Arango is now lending his support to LGBT causes:

And then last May he reappeared publicly to urge the conservative party in which he had served as a Senator to back a number of measures to protect members of the LGBT community from discrimination (the measures would pass).

What do you think, Instincters? Is Arango's coming out something to celebrate or is it too little too late?

 

(H/T: Towleroad)

Comments

WHEN HE WAS A SENATOR , HE HAD THE CHANCE TO VOTE FOR GAY RIGHTS AND EQUAL RIGHTS AND HE VOTED --- NO---- TO THAT AND CRITICIZED GAY PEOPLE 

NOW , WOW !  WHAT A HIPOCRAT,  PEOPLE , I DON'T SEE AN APOLOGY IN ALL THIS , NOW HE ANNOUNCED THAT HE IS GOING TO RUN AS A MAYOR FOR SAN JUAN , THAT IS ALL AND HE WANT TO GET GAY PEOPLE TO VOTE FOR HIM... TOO LATE MR ARANGO... 

HE JUST WANT TO GAY PEOPLE VOTE FOR HIM... SORRY ARANGO ITS TOO LATE

Hi there Patrick! There's a subject I would like to tell you about and it is (ta-da!!!!)  :

INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA

Internalized Homophobia is something that virtually all gays have to confront (or have yet to confront) in their lives.

The simple definition is that internalized homophobia refers to negative feelings that we have towards ourselves because of our homosexuality. The forms it may take can vary from outright shame, denial, or self-injury, to hating on other gay people and more unconscious behaviors as well.

Internalized homophobia happens for some of the same reasons that straight people are homophobic – namely ignorance, often because of religion and then of course, because of negative stereotypes and misinformation that we hear about in our families, schools, and society. However, with gays, negative attitudes become “internalized” because we are the subject of these prejudices! Whether we realize it or not, we are affected and hurt by hate and discrimination. It’s never a conscious choice to have internalized homophobia, but it must be a conscious choice to change it.

When checking your posts , it comes to my pinky-fleshy-flamboyant-little-heart 2main types of internalized homophobia expressions. I'll list it for you:

Type 1 -Out, and generally fine with other gays, but really dislikes ‘dykes’ and ‘flamers’.           ----- Many gay people are out and open and educated and “perfectly wonderful” gays, except for the fact that they vocally dislike flamboyant gay people. If you are this person, there are a few things you should consider.

a)These outspoken, visible minorities (a.k.a. someone who does not or cannot pass as straight) have been on the forefront of the gay rights movement from the very beginning. They take the brunt of the homophobia, face the most violence, and through their differences have created greater visibility for LGBTQ people in the world. After all, if no one could see us, how could they know we existed?

b)Every group of people has extreme examples and stereotypes. We encounter straight people all the time who are so ridiculous, they could be cartoons. And yet, we accept these differences to be within the acceptable range of human weirdness and expression.

c)It is important to distinguish between a flamboyant person and an annoying person. The reason you dislike someone may have everything to do with the fact that they are irritating, and not as much to do with the fact that they are queer. Some of the hate directed at extremely masculine lesbians or extremely feminine gay men, is actually a form of gender discrimination. We need to take into account that gender expression is something that happens in conjunction with sexuality. Many people with non-traditional expressions, are experiencing the brunt of internalized homophobia and transphobia, even if they’re not trans. Lots of straight people want to put sexuality in a box, but lots of straight and gay people want to put gender in a box. Gender, like sexuality, is a spectrum of expression. Some straight women are tough as nails and some butch lesbians are sweet as kittens and don’t know how to swing a hammer. Some gay men are total meat heads, and others are skinny, gentle dreamers in makeup. None of this really matters. Hating on other gays is just another form of internalized homophobia with a terrible dose of transphobia thrown in. 

Type 2-  In Denial or In the closed with the door opened: Some people simply deny that they are GAY,changing definitions on this subject,or trying to lead a so called straight life-like, may even get married and have a family. Many of these gay people in denial lead secret gay lives, or possibly worse, spend their lives feeling unfulfilled, lonely and unknown to everyone they love. -

Also, many people are only partially closeted. They have gay relationships, and don’t completely hide their sexuality, but they make a point to not be called part of the gay community or even not talk about their sexuality with family, friends, co-workers or, if they are public figures, the media. Sometimes gay people do this for their own safety, for example, if they know they could face possible violence at work or lose their home if they are living with homophobic family members. There can be a practical side to being careful with your disclosure.

However, many gays have gay friends, gay friendly (or at least loving) parents and still they remain silent. Often they say things like “it’s not anybody’s business,” or “we don’t talk about those kinds of things,” when questioned. The root of this avoidance and secrecy is shame, fear to disappoint, fear to face actual homophobia from people or to not be accepted. This kind of internalized homophobia really encourages subtle and systemic discrimination in our society. It makes a statement that even gay people believe that gays should be marginalized and gives straight people permission to ignore us. When we do not advocate for ourselves and others who need support, we are weak as a movement. Additionally, the people found in this part of the spectrum are often the most avid deniers of the existence of ‘internalized homophobia.’ 

I know, this post turned out 2 be long, but I hope you read it. It is all I wanted to say 

I am McLovin' it ROFLMFAO

RAEL'S COMMENT : almost all homophobic people have some homosexual tendencies. A part of themselves that their religion make them hate so much that they turn their aggressivity toward gay people. Really heterosexual people have no problem with gay people.

www.raeliangay.org

It's funny how a certain person on here (not naming names) is still going on a rant after nearly two days. 

Not a happy homo (gay) but a true poofter bigot.

I think that for some, the journey leading to the exit from the closet is more complicated and difficult than others. If we are truly a community that embraces and welcomes people with love and acceptance, I think that is what we should do.  At the same time, if he is going to become a member of this community after having done so much damage, he has a lot of work to do, beginning with an apology for his actions and an acknowledgement of what they stemmed from.  Then perhaps he could also begin to serve the community in a more active role.

Coming out is journey for many of us.  I'm not ready to forgive and forget, but lets give him some rope and see whether he hangs himself or our opposition (sorry for the harsh metaphor)

Day late and a dollar short buddy. what an ass

I do not see an apology anywhere in his comments.

There should be NO acceptance of this hypocrite in the community. Due to his zealous drive to make Puerto Rico the 51st State (something that never will happen), he aligned himself with Christian Right and imposed his party's (Progressive New Party) conservative views. Members of this party have denigrated transgendered residents(many have been murdered due to his actions) of the island and have tried to rig election results due to their desperate attempts to make Puerto Rico look "American as Apple Pie" to politicians from red states.  The Progressive New Party (known by it's acronym in Spanish - PNP - ironic huh?) has broken all ties with him as they do not want gays open in their ranks. He is the "Mark Foley" of Puerto Rico. Screw him!

"Screw him"? No thanks. He's not my type. And I could care less how much he wants to get screwed.

He can't be all that smart if he posted his face on Grindr. And since there is so many examples like his, is it any wonder to anyone still, why people just assume all rabid anti-LGBT are just closet cases.

He sure likes the word "top" a lot :-)

He is a big ol' nelly power bottom! Who takles photos of their ass in order to chronicle their weight loss? :-/

Why would it be too late? Coming out is more confusing for some than others. We all want compassion, but not many seem to be willing to have it for others. Take the high road. 

"take the high road" is a great bumper sticker. In the real world, when you make choices, there are consequences. He has made conscious choices to inflict pain on other gay people. He made conscious decisions to not only support but to lobby for legislation to restrict the freedoms of gay men and women. Where is the heart felt atonement for his past actions? Sure he lobbied his former party to pass one piece of legislation. Where is the mea culpa? He is a pompous piece of shit that could not say the words of his own accord. There is no bravery in the statement he made. It was a mealy-mouthed politician's answer to a question. I'm sure this piece of shit feels absolutely no remorse for the pain he's inflicted on his fellow gay brothers and sisters. And please, the cop-out that he didn't realize he was gay is complete and utter bullshit. NO ONE wakes up one day and suddenly realizes they're attracted to their own sex...that is a bullshit, cowardly cop-out.   

"Coming out" and doing what he did do not necessarily go hand in hand. There are consequences for his behavior and he has to live with them. Karma will happen whether people have compassion or not. That's why it's called "Karma"

Let's not forget many of us were in the closet at some point in our lives--and it wasn't all that long ago that some people stayed in the closet for most of their lives. Let's not be too quick to hate on others.

Anyways, I can forgive him, if he's sorry for what he's done to us and asks for it.  But that doesn't mean I have to trust him and I won't vote for someone I cannot trust.  However, if we were to 'earn' our trust, then maybe.  Give him a few years and let's see what he does with it. 

You know what they say about the leopard and his spots

I doubt it has anything to do with being in the closet.  I believe it has to do with his open bias against gays.  I need not be ill or tall or short to have empathy for those who are not like me.  I doubt his being gay came on like a bot of lightening once he left the senate.  His hypocracy is the problem....like so many of his kind.

Nicely put!

As a politician, his comments reflect his personal views. If he couldn't be truthful to himself about who he is, then he (and others like him), shouldn't be running for (or holding) office.

The overwhelming majority of political "views" are really money interests. The pursuit of profit with no ethics. Money talks, b------t walks

Why are you all even arguing with this guy? He is obviously just trying to get the attention he is clearly lacking outside of this blog. People like this honestly only learn by failure. Just listen to his words. He hates himself because he cannot be himself and can only reconcile his emotion by projecting it onto those who have chosen to be true to themselves and the world by be only person they can be truly happy being: themselves.

Where is his heartfelt fucking apology for all his crimes and cruelties? Fuck this slack-titted saggy old shitmouth.

I love it! "Slack-titted saggy old shot mouth!" Gotta use that one sometime!

I have no respect to person like this. If you can't come to terms with yourself, then be polite and don't say a word against or pro on gay topics and issues. Obviously, you let GREED as a businessman take advantage of LGBT Qmunity. You maybe GAY, but you put GAY people at harms way by feeding it to the devil. I have absolutely NO RESPECT to you whatsoever. I will never vote for someone who has both feet on different boats at the same time just to save his ass getting fucked without lube. Shame on you!

Bravo!

I don't think you realize you're the one spreading dangerous stereotypes about homosexuals, and you're the one with a very closed off, and warped view of what it means to be a homosexual man. You're the one advocating some very misguided social constructs that misrepresent the majority of gay people, and any psychologist will tell you, you're probably projecting those aspects about your own homosexuality that you loath unto others, and making them pay for your own inability to accept yourself. You're gay, you've made that painfully obvious to everyone but yourself, and you can try, and spin these constructs to keep justifying you're own denial, or you could accept it, and be happy. 

WTF are you talking about????

It helps if you give an indication who you are replying to.

As a gay person who has been persecuted here in Puerto Rico for being different, I do accept his apology, because we are not here to continue this pattern of hate. I choose to forgive those who hate me and never give them anything less than my respect and love.

well said!  yo  lo apoyo! 100%  y le Deseo una carrera exitosa para el Mejor bienestar de todos los Puerto riquenos como yo! 

BE YOURSELF! and be kind to one another  Say NO to Discrimination or HATE

GRACIAS

RICARDO SANTANA-BORICUA 100%

PALANTE 

As hard as it is to think the way you do, your attitude exemplifies what it means to be a good person, regardless of gender, religion, or motivation.

Yet again, it seems the folks gays have the most to fear from isn't straights at all, it is closet gays.

I dragged a slew of closeted politicians out of the closet and think outing is a powerful action.

At the same time, when someone realizes they were wrong, we must give them a chance to redeem themselves. If we do not want to the we should consider why we have a movement at all.  Look at the word "movement" -- as in "move people."

If this man is willing to work on our behalf from here on out, raise money and educate the public on why what he did was wrong I say "great!" Now let's see if he delivers.

Yay, Mike Rogers!!  I was a big fan of you.... still am  :)

Ben L.

Can anyone recommend a good shrink??? I'm having some trouble understanding the world around me these days...

He can make amends by slapping me across the face with that big fat cock of his ....

Where are those pics???

I am so glad a friend of mine shared this article with me. I had a look, and read the follow-up comments. Some of you 'gays' are so clueless. Too many 'gay people' just don't understand that just because a guy - like myself - has same gender attractions, this does not make him GAY. GAY has nothing to do with sexual orientation. GAY is more accurately a descriptor of behavior; of cultural expressions; and truly is only applicable to a tiny minority. A majority of men have varying degrees of feelings of same gender affection, yet absolutely do not identify with, or align themselves with, anything GAY, or the GAY community. In recent decades, the unwillingness of some men to change their (dangerous) sexual behaviors; the inclusion of gender-benders, cross-dressers and various other fetish/fringe factions (which have NOTHING to do with same-gender-affection) in a community originally geared toward males; the ignorance of the fact that only 38-40% of men identify as totally heterosexual; the arrogant insistence that the above mentioned fringe minorities dominate the public perception of same-gender-attracted men - these cumulative and misleading factors have made it impossible for men like myself to identify as GAY. Same-Gender-Attracted? Yes. Homosexual? Possibly (although that descriptor is tainted as well). But definitely not GAY. Yet, that pink-tinged outrageously flamboyant contingent continually comes flouncing to the foreground, proclaiming they represent my feelings and identity. NO. YOU DON'T! Shut Up!

Did anyone ever possibly consider that the Senator just simply does not IDENTIFY as GAY, as in 'a boa-wearing, rainbow-flag-waving, nelly flamboyant queer'? He could still be same-gender-attracted, but sees GAY as I see it...a failed social experiment that has gone off the rails and is a community falsely dominated by a too-visible fringe minority that creates disgust in the public psyche.

The sooner 'GAYS' come to a decision about what gender they wish to be perceived as, and the sooner MEN who know they are male put their foot down and give the fringe the boot, the better off the 60% amBIsexual majority will be. If the even tinier faction of weirdos (within the homosexual "10%") wish to be known as GAY, fine, knock yourselves out. But don't expect me or my buddies to be a part of it and please quit proclaiming you represent US, because WE don't want to be known by those representations.

I thought the debate was about the LGBTQ community's acceptance about Arango's change of ass (oops!), heart. Instead, Patrick has come on here with his non-gay self to waste his time answering the comments of gays whom he predicted would not agree with his put-down of the flouncy among us.  Patrick, How come you get to be this big seiner of what being gay is and who should be defined as gay? You spent most of your time on here answering back and insulting people who didn't agree with you. Why didn't you say what you had to and then go pay for a blow job? Or does your male-attraction-butt-no-anal-sex-with-flouncy-men prevent you from enjoying those pleasures?

Follow-up. I thank all my fellow readers for their many responses (narrow-minded and hateful of anything other than the standard GAY identification forced upon us my 'the community' as they were). Yes, folks...here we see the gay community demonstrate that which they want others to refrain from. The minute someone criticizes behavior in the gay community, the hatred flies. They don't take one second to realize they do the very thing to someone who is 'different' than them. Way to go guys (girls!) You proved one of my many points. If any guy does not toe the gay party line, and accept the established rules and behavior patterns, he is persona-non-grata.

We'll isn't that the way people like you constantly treat the gay community?. I mean, just look at your Putin: he looks just the way you define yourself. As others have pointed here, your self-loathing is sooooooooo apparent. You will NEVER be accepted by the gay community because they smell it on you. I have no doubt that straight people, whether or not they have close relationships with gays or not, will be able to perceive SOMETHING different about you too ..and those inflatable dolls you refer to as your "buddies". (By the way, Patrick, Jamaicans call penises/dicks/pricks "buddies")

I have just read through your very complex statement and one thing that comes out in the most profound manner is the the clear understanding that you are a moronic asshole

No, I am an individual that doesn't follow the Gay Party Line. I am also part of the larger demographic. 38-40% identify as totally heterosexual. A minority. 10-12% identify as homosexual. That still leaves a range approximating 50% of men that everyone seems to avoid acknowledging. A MAJORITY. That is the identity I choose. Live with it and accept me...isn't that what you hypocrites demand?

Too many 'gay people' just don't understand that just because a guy - like myself - has same gender attractions, this does not make him GAY.

LOL.  You just wasted all that time trying to redefine the definition of gay.  All you had to do is look it up in the dictionary:

1gay

 adjective \ˈgā\

: sexually attracted to someone who is the same sex

Yes, and at one time...the definition was 'someone who had a mental defect'. That changed. Once again...GAY refers to Behavior and Cultural Depictions. NOT Sexual Orientation. And I am not trying to redefine 'GAY'. I merely stated that I choose to distance myself from the common representations, AND suggested maybe the Senator was doing the same thing...until people badgered him into caving in.

Grindr is for gay men. If you use it, you are gay. Plain and simple. He is gay. He did not accidentally upload his shirtless picture onto Grindr with the notations soliciting sex from other users (all of which are also men). Not all gay men do Grindr, but all those who do Grindr are gay. So what you are saying is that if I don't 'act gay' I can dig other males and 'not be gay'. Sounds good to me. So I'm not gay.

Wow dude you are clueless your "PHOBIA"  about LGBT is coloring your self loathing. Sexuality is more fluid than most realize. I can understand not wanting to be put in a box. But your negative perceptions of those who are different speaks volumes about your unresolved issues. It is not that we are the same, but the discrimination we have experienced is the same and most not because of our public behavior but misconceptions such as the ones you just shared. We put our hands out and reach back for those still is the fire because we have been there. Good luck to you sir but stay the fuck out of my way.

"Sexuality is more fluid than most realize." THAT was MY point...but clearly the majority or responses to me are insisting that I identify myself as GAY.

When 1) that description does not fit at all, and 2) I refuse to be associated with the elements that who the hell knows who included under that label.

I have no unresolved issues. They all went away when I stopped trying to fit into a community that has elements that I can't identify with. When I joined the majority of men - the range between totally hetero and homosexual (a majority, as you pointed out in your statement I quoted) I found that place where I fit in - despite my attraction to only men. But it appears there are individuals that can't stand the fact that I choose to remain outside the GAY minority.

The only negative perception I have are related to BEHAVIOR, not identity...people can be who they are. Just don't claim to represent ME. "Still in the fire..."? Don't be melodramatic. I am 57 years old and have never encountered any discrimination...EXCEPT that discrimination exhibited here (I admit, I knew it was coming). Thank you all for proving my point. Anyone different than the small faction of extreme GAYS is rejected by that small faction (who then claim to be speaking for the majority of men...) I've been in this debate for going on 10 years. No matter what, you guys will still be part of that fringe minority...that you allow yourselves to be dictated to by an even smaller minority.

Why don't you take a pill. You live in the fringe of the netherworld - like the rest of us. Be hopeful you aren't beaten up by the percentage of straight guys who don't get your bro love. Love who you want but don't hate on any minority of person however queeny or flouncy they may be. Your love ain't better. Just different. You should learn how to represent your point of view better. You might actually have something to teach.

Crap

I don't think you realize you're the one spreading dangerous stereotypes about homosexuals, and you're the one with a very closed off, and warped view of what it means to be a homosexual man. You're the one advocating some very misguided social constructs that misrepresent the majority of gay people, and any psychologist will tell you, you're probably projecting those aspects about your own homosexuality that you loath unto others, and making them pay for your own inability to accept yourself. You're gay, you've made that painfully obvious to everyone but yourself, and you can try, and spin these constructs to keep justifying you're own denial, or you could accept it, and be happy.

I would have to agree with Patrick and gets what he mean.  Within the GAY community itself (at least those dominated by loud and screaming ones) seem to be the most discriminatory of its peers, the same-gender attracted men.  When you stop considering a gay men who have high regards to his PRIVACY as being a CLOSETED gay men, then that is the only time you should consider yourself as sensitive.  Period.  Yes, being gay doesn't mean you have to SHOUT to the world that you are one.

I'd rather they shout against persecution than whisper and WHIMPER from a closet!!!!!!

Thank you, Brother. You one voice has made it clear - I don't need to respond further to these elements that demand unconditional acceptance for themselves, but bare claws and fangs when someone challenges the 'paradigm' they have created for themselves. I am 57 years old. I began exploring the gay community at age 20. For about 28 years, I went through that experience feeling I didn't 'fit in' - a feeling far worse than I ever experienced outside the gay world. The community that was supposed to celebrate MY differences were brutal and unapologetic. Because I reject the extremes - drag, anal penetration, promiscuity, etc. - I was treated as a parish. Which I have more than effectively demonstrated in this forum. I appreciate your words, Michael. Let me reiterate, however, that I am not closeted. I have always been open about my identity, but the manner in which I do so has always gained me acceptance. The only place the rejection has been so rabid toward me is within the very community that claims to celebrate diversity and demands unconditional acceptance. It took me 28 years to realize I was surrounded by hypocrites who would never accept my brand of same-gender-affection and instead would always demand I conform to the GAY mold, identity, label and worse - the Behaviors - that they deem mandatory.

Patrick, you "explored" the gay community for 28 years? That sounds like a LOT of exploring to me!!! And you didn't have fun????? (Sniff! Sniff!) poor child! They were mean to you! Couldn't you have gone straight into the arms of some poor female and produced some offspring like everybody who wasn't hitting the clubs or preferring to lead a quiet domestic life with a partner? You mean to tell me you were dragged into the "gay world" kicking and screaming???? By the way, you meant to say they treated you like "pariah" or social outcast. They could not have treated you like a parish, which is an area having its own church and clergyman.

You're so deep in the closet it's sad really. I hope you can come to terms with, and accept who you are someday. I think (and hope) you'll be much happier.

When is an openly same-gender-attracted male who chooses not to be IN the gay community considered 'in the closet'? Do you really believe what YOU are shoveling? I am happy, both in my own skin...and in the fact that you guys are so predictable in your indignation when confronted with someone who doesn't conform you YOUR societal demands...LOL. Do you really think I came into this gay forum not thinking I would be bashed. I expected it and welcomed it to prove my point. If I have woken up one young reader to what I discovered 10 years ago... that I don't have to conform to the gay mold. Certainly the good male role models aren't going to come from the group here that oppose MY differences.

What are "the good male role models"? Why don't you define that? How do you know, that because they disagree with you, they aren't good role models? Who made you the judge and jury of that term and them??? Patrick, the more you write on this blog, the more you sound like you have issues, whether or not you're closeted. You would actually waste time with all this to prove the point that you are ..a dick???? It should have been spent on some "good male role models"! Sounds to me like your father wasn't one and you've been trying to find it "exploring" the gay community and then blaming them for it..and my flouncy, queeny brothers are too extreme in their diversity and self-expression. But you know, Patrick, they are the ones I love first and the most because, In every country, culture, race and ethnic division you will find my flouncy, queeny brothers whom DNA has refused to hide so that they have historically been on the front lines of physical and sexual abuse, rape, castration, genocide and are still there in 2014! I love them, regardless of their behaviour, because I know they have more courage than you to struggle to survive in this brutal world. You have nothing to contribute to the LGBTQI community so just move along with your hand-job mentality. Go put yourself up on some altar of male perfection when you find it but be careful some closeted priest ain't gonna want a lil sum-sum!

Wow! Rarely have i read anything so dripping with anti-gay self-loathing! While I do agree that "Gay" is part culture, part sexual orientation and/or identity, there's a MUCH wider range of diversity within the culture than "boa-wearing, rainbow-flag-waving, nelly flamboyant queer."  I consider myself gay, (along with many other things...husband, son, brother, uncle, friend, business owner, active citizen in my community and country, etc) but I certainly do not fit your description of a Gay man. Oh, and I do wish to be perceived as a man, like most Gay men do. I can be cis-gendered, and still be Gay. I could also consider myself to be transgendered and consider myself to be "Gay" (but that simply isn't "me." No judgment about that, it is what it is. What I would not do is use the insulting term "gender-benders" that you use...how sad. How judgmental...ask any trans person what they think of THAT term!)

But I also have to say, as an advocate for fairness, justice, and equality for Gay people (AND people who are same-gender attracted...you too could be fired or denied all sorts of rights and services if your "attraction" is discovered), I think I DO represent your interests...whether or not you appreciate it.

Hope you continue enjoying your closet.

Wonderful PaulC!   We'll said! I think we started our modern era with the word GAY to cover all of us who were some alternative from the heterosexual norm and now we include the Intersexed under the spectrum of alternatives. As we progress in time, we're all learning what the different segments have experienced and how they like to be referred to in the media. 

I am not in the closet at all...I just refuse to allow my same-gender-affection be represented by and defined by the worst the gay Community has to offer, including those individuals posting here in response that are angered by the fact that I refuse to fall into lockstep with the official gay mantras and definitions.

And by the way, I don't loathe myself...I loathe those gays that refuse to let their peers be individuals. The minute someone criticizes bad behavior in the gay cmmunity, everyone has an apoplectic fit. How dare he criticize us. Look in the mirror guys, the gay community, in many ways, is long overdue to be criticized FROM WITHIN.

You wish to be perceived as a man...then don't nod your head in tacit agreement when the gay world talks about Sisterhood. Get mad and criticize!

A trans personis not part of the MALE same-gender-attracted community. They shouldn't be offended at all by my opinion. They are part of the TRANS community.

DUDE ITS CALLED PROJECTION LOOK IT UP !!!! 

Wow. Too bad you have to criticize others to make yourself feel better; legitimate. I hope you are spreading the gospel of your 30-40 % bro-love world. I'm sure Putin would understand your affection. As long as it's not gay it's okay right? Whatever. Pathetic argument. Dark enough in the closet it doesn't matter what you do. Boo. Shame on you. 

Obviously, you have been propagandized by self-loathing theists.  Same-sex attraction is NOT a social experiment, fool! Get educated, and pull that crucifix out of your ass! The Divine intended for you to celebrate ITS experiencing the uniqueness you are.....hating yourself is hating The Divine. 

Crucifix??? I did not make any mention of religion. I did not say Same-Sex-Attraction is a social experiment. I SAID the gay community is a failed social experiment. Gay refers to behavior, not orientation. Gay is a cultural construct, not an orientation. I think you should reread what I wrote, and this time not let your gay bias (speaking of propaganda) get in the way. I have been educated pal...I have returned to the same-gender-feelings I had long before the gay community got their claws into me.

You didn't have to mention religion... your self-loathing diatribe and reference to your "same-gender-attraction" (aka GAY) say everything for you.  You claim to be this uuuuber-individual, and yet totally neglect that you have completely assimilated yourself into hetero-normed perspectives and roles... that have been 100% pre-defined FOR you by the straight world.  You also come across as so incredibly angry and hateful toward any gay person who doesn't ascribe to your pre-defined "manly norm"... yet your criticize them for accepting a norm they are comfortable with.  Why is that SO threatening to you?!

I believe this is whre you have demonstrated 'the pot calling the kettle black'. That's fine, I can live with it. My purpose was to bring out the hate FOR ME by fellow 'gays'...and you guys performed predictably. Gays will be the first to turn on a peer when they do not conform.

Dude, your the worse type of gay. You hate yourself and others for being gay. You are gay, get over it. 

No, I am not gay...gay, as I have and will continue to explain, is a cultural construct. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation. You go ahead and drink the gay kool-aid, but I want nothing to do with the Rainbow Community. That is not how I express MY same-gender-affections. I will not be pigeon-holed by your definitions.

1. Gay being feminine is a stereotype, an unfair generalization of a diverse group.

2. Saying someone who enjoys being effeminate as lesser than you is sexist. Other people's likes an dislikes aren't hurting you.

3. The only thing you're right about here is that using labels like gay are a personal decision. Not for other people to give to you.

Stop being so negative, we're all just trying to enjoy existing on this planet.

Bri - there are plenty of guys here that would disagree with you. They would not rest a moment until a guy like me breaks down and 'admits' I am gay. Sorry, I been down that road starting at age 20 and that effort lasted 28 years. My 'liberation' came when I stopped trying to conform to the gay mold and I went back to being me. And not surprising, the lack of acceptance continues...only now I expect it and use it to bring the hate toward outsiders from within the gay community out into the light.

The stereotypes are generally promoted from within the community. I refuse to allow those factions, no matter how small a minority, to represent me.

I think you'll find that people are starting realise that not all gays fit the stereotypes you don't associate with.  I don't fit these stereotypes either, yet when I watch myself in a video, my gaydar still detects my homosexuality.  You could try this yourself. Michael Sam and Jason Collins ring a bell?  People like this ex-senator typify many gay young men whom I taught as secondary high school students. The worst homophobes, maybe you were one at school, were gay themselves the whole time, yet never came out at school because they didn't want to support the flamers, the effeminate boys who copped all the bullying and had to leave school early, uneducated and damaged for life. Significantly, their closeted gay brothers not only did NOTHING to help them, they were ringleaders in assaults and daily faggot calling needling.  Today, these young men hang their heads in shame at their inaction.  Think again before you recoil at the activism their personal story has spawned.

I agree with you that the LGBT community needs to be strong enough to criticise itself from within, but it WILL represent you unchallenged unless you climb in and become a dissenting voice yourself, and contribute to its diversity. Your comments to this thread have perhaps been a start for you, but from here on in, please show some respect to the flamers who were martyrs for you, the drag queens at Stonewall whose riots precipitated the revolution that allows you to marry your same sex partner today.  Sectarianism is damaging enough in the wider world without allowing it to destroy the "one step forward" you acknowledge we've made so far.

People are categorized into stereotypes by others. We all see ourselves as individuals first and then a part of the larger community second. That you don't identify with the gay community is one thing. That you hate it for its own sake is vile. You live in the fringe. Accept it in yourself and accept it in others. 

Your idea of gay (not GAY, whatever that is) as bizarre, flamboyant, extreme, and effeminate is simply and totally wrong. If you knew anything at all about the history of gay rights, you would know that very often the original activists who brought about the changes that have made your life possible were the kind of gay people whom you despise. To the extent that you have any rights as a citizen while being "homosexual" or "same-sex-attracted" or whatever you want to call yourself it is because these people forced city governments to back down on enforcing draconian anti-gay laws making it illegal for us to even gather in any group with the intent to force us out of society, or at least into its dark and dangerous fringes. You are hypocritically reaping the benefits of gay people pressing for our rights. Shame on you!

Yeah and those people 'pressing' for our rights take one step back for every two forward, and quite often it's the other extreme...two steps back for every one forward. Musn't criticize the bad elements in our community, because we must all stick together? No thanks.

Your indignation at my right to criticize what I see wrong among my peers is laughable and insulting. It absolutely is essential that we all try to make the community better, not just mindlessly accept the bad elements.

Patrick, I respect that you are obviously struggling with some internal issues and commend your willingness to try to work through them; but please go back and read what you just wrote. You just called "those people 'pressing' for our rights" the "bad elements in our community" and what you see wrong among your peers (and what I presume makes you shun the gay community). Those people are the very people that made it possible for you to self-identify as same-gender-loving instead of gay, and not be labeled by the public by more detrimental labels like queer, faggot, fairy, diseased or even mentally insane.

You will never be able to truly love yourself until you can embrace the beauty and uniqueness of all people, including yourself, no matter their color, gender, or their degree of masculinity or femininity. Being part of the Gay Community doesn't mean we all have to act and look the same, or even think the same; but it does mean we have respect for, and support each other, because of our uniqueness and differences. We see a better gay community as one that is accepting of diversity; not one that "mindlessly accepts the bad elements" as you put it. Try to open your mind and be less judgmental, and you'll love yourself more in the process.

No struggle at all, Keith. The struggle was when I tried to conform to the gay world. When I let go of that, all has been great.

BTW, some of those epithets you suggest are used quite often within gaydom - queer, faggot, fairy - I find that hypocritical...and something I do not want to be around.

I suggest to admonish your peers to open their mind to the fact that a majority (up to 50% of men) who are same-gender-attracted to varying degrees - OR bisexual - just do not fit in the gay world. And they never asked to be included in the LG B T community. Please admonish your peers to stop trying to force us to conform to THEIR world! Funny how they will accept Drag Queens, Barebackers, Fisters, and the HIV+ social hook-up community (it's all part of the culture, don't you know...) but someone like me...who chooses to stand up for myself and MY identity, is not accepted. The proof is clear...if we were all in the same room right now...there are at least a half dozen individuals who I fear would succumb to mob mentality and I'd be hanging by the neck right now. Way to prove the GAY tolerance for diversity outside their community!

That's just a bunch of bullshit.

Thank you for sharing your reaction so eloquently. Bah!

Coming out or being closeted is a personal decision. But to cast your lot with bible thumping homophobes—to build your career on a platform of second class citizenship for others like you … this is the worst sort of traitor. May God forgive him. I cannot. Remember Ken Mehlman? Slime.

To little, to late. You don't get to say "my bad" when you've worked to harm a community.

For him. It's one thing to just be in the closet. It's another to be a hypocrite, lier, and siding with the enemy. He should just go away.

Sounds like he's still lying to himself - or at least to others about himself. 

TOO LITTLE TOO LATE.  LOCA MALA.  GET LOST!

So - he should retract his apology and go back to being a closeted homophobe then, so we can keep hating him till he dies?

Nothing to celebrate. Now he needs to make amends to all of the people he has hurt.

He says "on top of that..." 3 times in the 1st paragraph.  Over-compensating much?  

Which means he's a BOTTOM

Although it was late in coming, it is a positive step in the right direction. I hope he is finally at peace with who he is and that only good can come out of this, from this day forward. I won't judge anyone, as we are all human and make mistakes. I wish him well! :)

I think he should be shunned, traitorous piece of crap.

So no point in his disclosure or coming out then?  Better to keep him as an enemy?

Shame on him for his efforts to discriminate and persecute us.  However, its never too late to come out.  He serves as an example to others that homosexuality can be found in every profession, race religion etc.  Sometimes the harder the lesson and/or more public the exposure of of an incident like this concerning a high profile person, can actually help others see errors in their thought processes and push the movement further without that exposure. 

Demasiado tarde.  

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