Are Gays Ready For Their #MeToo Moment?

 

The sensitivity with which straight men are being asked to apply to social interacts with women has never been more acute thanks to the #MeToo movement. They are under a microscope, and have stars like Aziz Ansari and James Franco to look to as warning signs. Ansari was accused of not comprehending the word "no" while the as-of-yet unfounded allegations facing Franco made him a pariah during the recent awards season. 

Then we have the gays. We seem to have a lag time in adopting the principles from the #MeToo and Time's Up movements. A not wildly dissimilar encounter that many of us experience at any given night at a gay club occurred between Taylor Swift and a DJ when he grabbed her through her clothes on a red carpet - an incident which, after a lawsuit and a countersuit, landed Swift on the cover of Time Magazine's Person of the Year issue.

Male stars such as Anthony Rapp spoke openly and bravely about being molested, but the more nuanced infractions - the microaggressions - have yet to take center stage in the gay community as they have in the straight community. Does this make us less evolved, or are we somehow exempt? Sharon Stone seemed to parallel gay thought with what she recently had to say about our current persecution of straight men behaving badly:

 

You go out with them, they bring you home for a good-night kiss and they grab your hand and put it on their penis. A 50-year-old man. I don’t think they’re trying to sexually harass me, I think they’re just incredibly stupid and awkward. Like, really? That’s your move? Please don’t ever call me again, because you’re too stupid to date. I don’t think I should ruin your whole life over that but I just think you’re incredibly stupid.

 

Swift was addressing a workplace assault, which should be noted carries a different set of issues than what Stone is referring to. But still, it's a bold stance on Stone's part in this current climate. Are we simply living the Sharon Stone life as gays, and if so, should we be glad or mad? I truly look to all of you to help us understand where the gay community stands with #MeToo and Time's Up. Please make yourself heard in the comments.


This post is the opinion of this contributing writer to Instinct Magazine.  Opinion pieces do not always reflect the stance of the magazine or the other contributing writers.

Comments

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Almost every single gay person who I know has had to speak up in uncomfortable situations: coming out being the first one; but facing down homophbia and fighting for our rights to love who we love are others. My friends and I draw upon those experiences when facing unwanted advances of any kind. We've already learned how to speak up and we ain't going to stay silent.     .....     On the other hand, most of us are willing to accept those advances as something that we fought to be able to do (and to receive) especially at the end of a night at the bars (!). I'm willing to give someone a pass, even if his pass at me (see what I just did?) is rude and crude.

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Personally, I feel that there are more gray areas in the gay community regarding this issue. I know some friends who are creeped out by harassment, others see it as a compliment. At times it depends on the situation. It’s pretty common in bars, and not always unwanted. For some guys, sex is just sex, for others it’s degrading. 

rugguer's picture
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what about the gay couples that hit on single gay friend, not wanted, 

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Me too. But I liked it. 

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There's not variance in power amongst gays. When you mix the genders and have men exerting their power over women then it's clear where there is a power variance that leads to the need for things like #Metoo.

It's like, you have young high schoolers writing for your website... 

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The workplace would be an area where there is inequality. Money can also contribute to inequality regardless of gender. There’s also the older man who coerces a younger, inexperienced young man. Sexual abuse of minors is a whole different situation. Just because two people are male or gay does not mean power is not involved.

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FTFY: "do we feel left out regarding this thing that has nothing specifically to do with us?" Jesus... Leave women to their moment. Co-opting it and trying to make it a gay thing just takes away from the main point. 

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