Check Your Ageism, Mature Men Make Better Lovers
Instinct Replay: While most of our writers are stuffing themselves with holiday cheer, we thought we would share some of our more memorable stories from recent months and maybe a little longer ago.
A male sex worker in Chicago wants to clear up some common misconceptions that people have with regard to hooking up with older men.
“As a sex worker, most people assume that the majority of my clients are unattractive,” Clark Rogers writes in an article for Unicorn Booty. “This is untrue: most of my clients are rather handsome actually, they just seek sexual services based on convenience, not desperation. People also assume that most of my clients older men — and yes, they are.”
But Rogers quite enjoys his older clientele. He says older men “have a better understanding of their desires and are able to articulate them clearly.”
“It’s no surprise that our sexual culture completely excludes older gay men,” he continues, recalling a recent ageism workshop he attended at a national conference on LGBTQ equality. “One of the men in my group mentioned how gay media often presents young guys as affluent as a way to further glamorize youth. Another noted that images of beauty idols haven’t changed since he was a young man.
“While the consumers have aged, the models have remained the young,” he writes. “Thus, our very concept of beauty has stagnated, pushing older generations out of the sexual imagination.”
Rogers also references a 2013 survey that found 63 percent of gay men over 60 were living alone with no partner.
“When we refuse to talk to our elders or allow them into sexualized spaces,” Rogers says, “it only increases their isolation, and our own.”
Indeed, Rogers would like this to change.
“It is up to us to set aside our highly sexualized culture and create a bridge to our older counterparts,” he writes. “They need us and, if nothing else, communing with them will help lay a framework for when we too become seniors.
“If we could find a way for senior gay men to share their experiences with our community–histories that are not being shared in a sex-focused culture–we won’t lose the most valuable thing we can get from each other: a stronger sense of our own identity, one that will last for generations.”