Chinese Hospitals Introduce Sperm Extractor Machine For Sperm Donors

While we tend to prefer our "sperm extraction" hands-on, China has introduced a sperm extractor to hospitals over the last year that has made the process of retrieving sperm samples hands free. 

According to The Gaily Grind, the sperm extractors "come with a massage pipe near the front which apparently can be adjusted according to the height of its user. The speed, frequency, amplitude and temperature can also be adjusted to the users preference."

Watch it in action:

According to the director of the urology at Zhengzhou Central Hospital, "the machines are being used by infertility patients who are having difficulty retrieving sperm the 'old fashioned way.'"

We're personally a little wary of sticking our most prized appendage inside a robot, but hey, the future is here! 

Any volunteers?


Hey, we invented that machine years ago!  

Ours is called ANN COULTER!  

Twice the suction for half the price, and still NO takers.  

Does the screen show porn?  Or The Brady Bunch??  Or (old school) Leave It to Beaver?

Americans will need a extra large hole!

Dream on.  Americans aren't that big.

Its like r2d2 learns to blowjob

@Abigail Rinaldo girl ur barking up the wrong tree right there.

It's pink.

That hole looks too small.

thats called *tight*

It would be cool if everyone used the same hole.

Surprise, surprise. That ain't my finger.

Why don't they just hire some hookers to give blowjobs?

First of all, are these sold over the counter?! ;-) Show these babies off at Comic-Con and I'm sure they'll fly off the shelves quick!

Looks like a robotic Fleshlight.

*Freshright. It is Chinese afterall... PS I'm allowed. I'm Asian.

That is NOT what I thought "watch it in action" was going to mean.  How disappointing. :)

You're funny. Want to go for coffee?

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