Nigel Campbell's picture

Do UK Straight Men Spoon w/ Other Males? Study Reveals Surprising Results

A UK survey reveals that straight men in Britain are extremely secure in their sexuality, so secure, in fact, that 9 out of 10 reveal they've spooned with another man. 

According to British sociologists Eric Anderson of the University of Winchester and Mark McCormack of Durham University these men are embracing "homosociality" which translates to straight men being less homophobic and more open to intimacy with their male friends. 

From Gay Star News (via New Republic):

‘We’re always cuddling, my lot,’ Jarrett, one of the young men who was interviewed, said.

‘We’re all comfortable with each other.’

Max, another survey participant, described how he and his friends would nurse their hangovers together at university.

Following a night out, he said he’s happy to watch TV, play video games, and frequently cuddle with friends.

‘If your mate has a headache you can like massage his head, or you just lie there together holding each other and laughing about how awful you feel,’ he said.

39 out of the 40 students surveyed also said they’d slept in a bed with another guy at least once since starting college.

Some cited practical reasons like accommodating a friend who’d come to visit a cramped dorm or crashing at a friend’s house after a night out, but others said they just wanted to feel close to their ‘mates.’

Think American straight men are learning from their mates across the pond??

 

Comments

I prefer to spoon with my Labrador now... she's cuddly and warm

What about gay Christians who cuddle/spoon with straight friends?

the GOY trend! 

I think this speaks more to masculinity than sexuality. Most American men are taught that "real" men don't need support, can't show emotion, and can only be intimate with a sexual partner, because "women are the weak, emotional ones that need intimacy". So, to be intimate with a non-sexual partner (especially a man) shows weakness and a lack of masculinity, particularly to the person being comforted (read little spoon) who is in essence taking the feminine role, which by archaic rules for what qualifies as a "real" man deems them weak and thus not a "real" man. It's all stupid to me. I see no problem with men being more intimate with each other the way women are, that old butch stuff about how mean should act is boorish.

nick91604's picture

I think this speaks more to masculinity than sexuality. Most American men are taught that "real" men don't need support, can't show emotion, and can only be intimate with a sexual partner, because "women are the weak, emotional ones that need intimacy". So, to be intimate with a non-sexual partner (especially a man) shows weakness and a lack of masculinity, particularly to the person being comforted (read little spoon) who is in essence taking the feminine role, which by archaic rules for what qualifies as a "real" man deems them weak and thus not a "real" man. It's all stupid to me. I see no problem with men being more intimate with each other the way women are, that old butch stuff about how mean should act is boorish.

This.

It may be a 'Bronze Age' comment, but at least that old time religion is still going strong and we don't go around persecuting those who don't follow it, we just accept the fact and get on with our lives.....It is about time that Christians and Muslims alike, understand that they don't have the monopoly on religion and that their 'God' is not the only one around - I'm not saying that there is no Creator, but there are many names for that being and there is no need for all this warring and killing because someone does not follow your beliefs.......just let people be.

Bronze as in tanned fit and fabulous.

Hugs for thugs!

Best sentiment ever!!! Hugs for Thugs!! Sooooooo funny!!

I've shared a bed with almost all my friends and it's pretty much normal or not a big deal at all, especially when it's cold.  My straight friends know who they are and have no problem with it.  I will say that I've only cuddled with one straight friends several times simply because he was used to it but it was nothing sexual either.  It was like when Ross and Joey would cuddle.  Nothing gay about it at all.  

I think is very cool. Friends often love one another in a non-sexual way. Why should this be looked down upon? People can cuddle in a non-sexual way.

I think this is a great article. I am straight, and my best friend is not, but we have spooned and he often rests his head on my lap...nothing sexual at all. He's my brother from another mother. Some question his sexuality, and nothing makes me so insulted or offended...people can be really close friends and show love without wanting to be with each other sexually! 

CORRECTION: I am gay, he is straight. My bad everyone!

Bullshit.  If a guy were to lay with me and spoon, we are going to FUCK!!  'Nuff Said!!!

A-FUCKING-MEN!!!!  I hate this "comfortable with my sexuality" straight boy bullshit.  Just fucking shake my hand or don't even touch me.  There's this one dude who actually wrapped his arms around me, albeit to tell me something discreetly, but I then wrapped my arms around his waist and it just felt wrong.  Dude, unless you're into guys, just lay off.  All you're doing is being a cock tease.

Yup, true. Have had many Close Moments with completely straight men. No problems.

Men who don't like to do this with their friends are not homophobic or uncomfortable with their own sexuality. It's just a different culture. I don't care if other guys cuddle but it's not something I would do. If you don't understand then it's as simple as that.

All of you guys posting in a postive way of this article are OLD TROLLS who are known for chasing that illusive "straight man". So tragic to spend your pitiful lives this way as if they might even remotely even have gay tendency that they would remotely be interested in old, ugly, fat fags like yourselves. Losers!

It sounds as if this is a bit of a sore subject for you.  Self deprecating feelings are no reason to lash out.   

Elusive, not "illusive."

Totally explains why many of my European male guests share the same bed when visiting me.  Two them them even has a picture of them spooning online.  I think it's wonderful but I was really surprised that they did it.  I know American men are not that evolved.

Im gay and have plenty of mates (straight) who show me affection. One in particular will cuddle on and off constantly whether it be in a pub club or home. This guy is a straoght eastern European. There is nothing at all sexual. Just two close friends.

American men have some growing up to do. They think all homosexuals want to stick penis in their butt. Yeah not so much.

Yea it has nothing to do with sexuality besides the security part we are humans... it's good to see we can be comfortable enough to nurture each other in a way I say that's what friends are for^^

intimacy between straight males is natural, builds confidence and gives comfort. The fact that the idea of 2 straight males being affectionate or intimate is associated with homophobia is just another example of how religion has weakened and denatured our humanity. It is religion that has created homophobia and led our society to believe it is shameful, sinful, and an abomination, so much so that 2 straight males would be too afraid of being seen as homosexual if they were to share intimacy with each other. 

Feeling safe and secure is nothing to be ashamed of. It has nothing to do with sex it has everything to do with being human and opening ourselves to feel.

nothing wrong with a good night of being spooned..we all need love and attention sometimes...

not only in UK, however I also experience this in my country, hmmmmm, but not 9 out of 10. Maybe 6 out of 10. This shows that this is happening across the oceans.

A couple of my straight guy friends are secure enough with themselves that they do whatever they want. I've got one friend that we would cuddle all the time, and another one of my fiends (who's your A-typical alpha male straight frat bro) lets me sit on his lap, even in public. He's introduced me to multiple of his friends as his "life partner" even guys we went to high school with that i didn't know back then lol I think more and more guys are just realizing you can have contact with another male without it having to be gay or sexualized at all, and personally, I'm a big fan! :)

When my straight roommates or I have a bad day, we will cuddle or even sleep in the same bed, nothing sexual but sometimes people just need someone close by who cares about them. Nothing wrong with wanting to feel welcome and safe

This is so TRUE!! I've spooned/been spooned by many straight friends in a totally non-sexual way!

i live in Hawaii and my friends don't have a problem with sharing a bed if they're trashed and need a place to pass out and they're all straight. No cuddling though. 

I live in Hawai'i, too.  And am truly bi-sexual.  Men on Big Island are very comfortable with each other.  I've slept with many, cuddled with many, and had sex with some.  It's all about the personal connection between two men and honoring your desires, be they emotional, relational, intimate, or sexual.  Honoring one's own and a friends desires is totally natural.

Why do I feel so darn uncomfortable being touched or held unless it is with a sexual partner

I've wondered that many times.  I'm so constantly aware of touch no matter who it is and it always makes me wonder why.  I remember a time when I didn't overanalyze it all the time and I wish my mindset could be a bit different.

Love is love period .

Sounds like 9 out of 10 straight men in Britain are bi curious. 

I think that the majority of straight men have cuddled with other men, maybe many don't talk about it.  I have always admired European men who are much more affectionate with other men, hugging and kissing each other on the cheeks.  American men the last 10 years have gotten much more open and free from a lot of these hang ups and are more affectionate.  This is a great thing! 

this happens all the time and isn't really news.

I've never heard of straight men behaving this way or ever speaking about it.

I have cuddled most of my straight friends at sometime.  Not a sexual thing just we got that close, no big deal.

I've done this with straight friends. No bfd.

Yes it is about time   america get over its   sexual paranoia.  I myself have  cuddled with many straight friends over the years. The human need for  this  contact is  so very important. and prevalent yet we are   denying  it to our males  from a very young age  because of  fear  of homosexuality.

When has love hurt anyone
. What the world needs now is love sweet love not just for some but everyone ; )

What the world needs now is Jesus Christ.

Wow, everyone is so understanding when it comes to cuddling and sexuality, but when it comes to religion people freak out? Stop being hipocrites. I, for one, have no problem with what you said, Emma.

*Hypocrites

There it is! I was waiting for this comment. Now let's move on.

Jesus died get over it.

Keep your stupid bronze age religion to yourself

Thank you! No one wants to hear any of that.

all i need is a boyfriend

I can agree with that; I do, too!

We are held from birth, we need that nurturing from our parents to survive. As we mature why would we shun such a beautiful, loving gesture?  I raised my daughter and held her. It would be the same with my son. It wasn't sexual with my parents nor my children. It's offering security, compassion and intimacy, not sexuality. 

I think the need for human contact should and in normal situations does exceed public justifications of acceptable behavior.

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