Bryan Keating's picture

Do You Go On Dates High Or Drunk?

Do You Smoke Or Drink Before A Date?

Would You Be Fine Knowing Your Date Is In The Clouds?


Another in a long line of #InstinctAfterDark posts. As expected, this involves dating. Again, I'm a gay, twenty-something who dates and dates often. It's healthy and important- a value I've learned mainly from Carrie Bradshaw on Sex And The City. As I add another name to the scroll of my dates, I wonder: How many of them pre-gamed before meeting?

Again, I'm a modern gay in the dating world. Honey, I've done the most. I've gone on dates with friends of friends, strangers at a bar who turned into lovers, and of course, online dating have had me getting into strangers cars back when we didn't summon them from our phones. My ritual before a date is pretty routine: I shower, shave, lotion up, my flamboyancy causes me to put on makeup, and I will usually thrift and outfit a day in advance. Oh, yeah, I usually have a small glass of wine beforehand. To kill the nerves I suppose- trying to find Mr. Right is tough!

Thinking back, I've encountered many men who have either shown up plain sloppy: Drunk or (legally) high on marijuana- hopefully. Once at a popular burger joint, I had the greatest time with a hilarious man with an unforgettable laugh. We hung out once after and he told me he barely remembered our date because he was so stoned. I was wondering what he smoked out of ahead of time: A seesaw!?

During conversations with friends, we discussed this topic. I was baffled that the majority of my 420 friendly friends show up a little, ahem, lit, to all of their dates! They don't disclose this to their potential boyfriends ahead of time. Their words, not mine, "it's not relevant for my date to know."

Are we all showing up to dates with our maybe-future loves a little turnt? Should we stop and recognize that we maybe shouldn't be talking about how messed up we were upon meeting a new boyfriend? I'm torn, because I do have a glass of wine before a date. However, I'd never show up drunk! Do you pregame before a first date? Let me know!