'Fifty Shades Of Grey' Has Herpes

We're less sure about seeing Fifty Shades of Grey in the theater without a parka thanks to new data from scientists in Belgium. 

The researchers tested the 10 most-borrowed books from the Antwerp Lending Library for various substances and living material. Turns out, according to their thorough testing, soccer mom porn bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey tested positive for traces of the herpes virus. 

Though the presence of the virus on the pages of the borrowed title was too low to call for any concern, all 10 library books tested positive for cocaine at levels that might cause a reader to fail a drug test. 

Yikes. Could the report from the toxicologist and bacteriologist team be the final nail in the public library coffin?