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Gay Man Shines Light On Devastation Of Male Rape In Powerful 'Washington Post' Piece

Gay New York writer Richard Morgan shared the devastatingly powerful story of his rape by a male acquaintance in a Washington Post piece that is essential reading for everyone as it shines a light on the prevalence and misunderstanding of rape among men, both gay and straight.

Here's the beginning excerpt from Morgan's piece:

“I made these for us to celebrate,” he said, sauntering out of the kitchen with two shot glasses full of a red concoction.

“Celebrate what?” I asked.

He cocked his head to one side. “You’re here!” he cheered. “You finally made it.”

I had been on a long, grueling bus ride up from Washington DC to his apartment in New York. It was already 9:45 p.m on a Friday last summer. I felt sore and had just taken a shower to rid the bus experience from my skin. I laughed and, holding the towel around my waist in one hand and the shot glass in the other, I looked at it. “What’s in it?”

“Gin!” I thought he said, more excitedly than he should have. Gin makes me sick. “That’s not really my thing,” I said. Then he pouted, comically and even adorably: “But I made it just for us.”

So I drank it and it was a bit sharp but really delicious, like tart watermelon. “You can hardly taste the gin,” I said.

“What gin?”

“You said there was gin.”

He laughed. “I said G.” He meant GHB, gamma-hydroxybutyric acid, commonly known as the date-rape drug. Later came several more druggings, as he held Gatorade up to my limp lips with who-knows-what mixed in. I spent the weekend — about 60 hours — semi-conscious and didn’t leave his apartment until Monday morning. Sometimes I think I never left his apartment, that someone who merely looks and sounds like me walked out.

I had received anal sex twice in my life before that night. By weekend’s end, it was 17 times, according to my fog-of-war count. Eyes squeezed shut, the tally was the only thing I focused on at times — like a ticking clock in a solitary confinement cell. Every addition to the tally meant I was one moment closer to the end. He moved out soon afterward, which helped erase the existence of that place for me.

I was raped. I had met him a few weeks earlier at a house party, and we had hit it off. He was handsome: 30, well-built, tall with long black hair, a surfer’s laugh, and great taste in “X-Men” (Gambit). He was not some lecherous old man. He was not a sexually repressed loser. There was nothing about him that was “rapey” (a word I detest). The sex itself was — I can’t really say it was “good,” because that’s far too moral of a word and far more than he deserves, but it was highly skilled. He knew exactly what he was doing, exactly how to stimulate me. What he didn’t know was when to listen to me saying “no,” when to stop, when to realize that my kicking and punching and shoving and screaming and writhing was not just some sick roleplay while he blasted Lady Gaga’s “I Like It Rough.” He covered my sobbing mouth with his hands. He hushed me and called me “sexy,” as in “You got this, sexy.”

Head over to the Washington Post to read Morgan's full essay. It's a graphic read, but it's one that we think everyone will benefit from. 

We applaud Morgan for his openness in sharing his experience. 

What's your take away from Morgan's piece, Instincters? 

Comments

Thank you for posting this. 3 weeks ago I given G unknowingly and taken home and raped. It didn't bother me too much because at that time I didn't recall who the person (s) were. But this last week the memories resurfaced and I can now recall the painful horrible night. Its hard to think about it but your story helps.

Thank you for being so open to your story. I had similar expierences like this story with people who I thought I could trust. What is difficult for people to understand is for many, a rape fantasy that is popularized by gay porn is just acting and controlled. You don't see real rapes recorded and sold unless it is available in illegal networks that someone wanting child porn or snuff films. Why? Because it is illegal. Rape is not cosentual nor is it the glamorized scene in a porno. Rape is real and to the millions of people who live with the shame and embarrassment of this crime suffer emotional and physical problems.

Having been raped at 19, burying those memories, feelings, and yet still having it for years and years to come shape my trust issues, self-esteem, and sex life I finally confronted it and worked through it when I was in my early 30s. It is hard to talk about things like this and I applaud him for speaking up. I wish I'd had the ability to read something like this when I was 19, or 20, maybe I would have been able to really experience and live my 20s instead of never understanding why it was so hard to be like "everyone else".

So many fags wanna cry RAAAAAPE! Yet they are ALL over weight and DAWG UGLY!

Attention seeking fags.

RAAAAAAAPE!

LMFAO!

And you know this HOW?? Something you're not telling us?? A secret you're keeping..IN THE CLOSET??? Asshole...

It's always ignorance like this which is written by the cowardly anonymous. What a terrible excuse of a human being.

Well, I can't tell Richard Morgan what to do, but REVENGE is best served cold.  Fantasies are fine, but this "charm" rapist knew exactly what he was doing.  He's done it before & he'll do it again (to someone else).  Get an AIDS test & proceed from there.  This kind of "misunderstanding" is really not okay.  

Get REAL!!

This is some made-up, fantasy of some fag who wants attention.

The lady doth protest too much....

And you're basing that on...?

Can we please remove this hateful comment.  This coward wouldn't even show his/her name.  

Thank you for sharing a story that strays away from the everyday pop culture and more on a very serious, but hidden topic. The first gay man I told I was raped responded like this, "baby doll when I was your age I would have loved to be in your situation." I never really trusted telling anyone my story after that. 

I am a survivor of rape, not once, not twice, but three times. I am the product of a rape, Born to a young 16 year old girl exiled to the US by her family. Then as a child I was molested by my general physician, who later went to jail for molesting 12 other young boys. Lastly and this is the one people tend to not call rape is when I was 18. It was an internet hookup gone wrong. A guy refused to wear a condom and wouldn't let me leave. He had a biohazard tattooed to his chest and I found out later was trying to convert me. Just so I could leave submitted to having unprotected sex. Because of his actions I was forced to come out to my parents to seek help, after being sick for an extended period of time. I feared the worst, but nearly a year after my ordeal my first HIV test came back negative.

A good looking, in shape, younger(30) top who knows how to give and have orgasms should have no problem finding submissive bottoms for weekend long marathon sex. Why go through the lengths of drugging and raping someone?

And that's the problem, smh....

It can be about power and control, not about how attractive the guy is. Attractive people can rape.

Very touching. Thank you for sharing this and I hope people take it to heart; it's not always the people who immediately give you "the creeps" that are a danger to you.

Wow! I can't help but feel sad. Thank God you're still with us.

Harrowing. But my god, so brave. 

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