Adam Dupuis's picture

Have You Been A Victim Of Stealthing?

Stealthing has been trending this past week on social media. Most of the references have been coming from predominantly women's sites and magazines, but it may be an issue in the gay community as well.

A new study explores "stealthing," a disturbing practice in which men poke holes in or remove a condom during sex without their partner's consent or knowledge.

The study, published by Alexandra Brodsky in the Columbia Journal of Gender and Law, explains that "nonconsensual condom removal during sexual intercourse exposes victims to physical risks of pregnancy and disease and, interviews make clear, is experienced by many as a grave violation of dignity and autonomy." The study also highlighted online communities that defend stealthing as a male "right" and allow men to trade tips and advice.

 

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One victim Brodsky spoke to described the incident as "rape-adjacent." Indeed, in January, a Swiss court decided that a 47-year-old man who removed a condom without consent during sex was guilty of rape.

Even if two people are engaging in consensual sex, damaging or removing a condom violates that consent — the person who damages or removes the condom is crossing a boundary and breaking their partner's trust. That's sexual assault.

Brodsky hopes that the study will lead to legislation that makes stealthing punishable by law. - seventeen.com

Have you been a victim of stealthing?

Or are you one that starts off covered, but removes the raincoat once things get going?

 

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It definitely is rape. If someone agrees to have sex with you with a condom and wouldn't have sex with you without a condom it is rape. they gave consent to protected sex not unprotected sex and one of these days a rape charge will come up and a judge will set this precedent. Because IT IS RAPE. 

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I wasn't sure where i stood on this.  Your argument and point of view have convinced me 100% that stealthing is rape.

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Always use a condom if you are having high risk sex such as with a stranger, but i highly encourage people to form relationships even just sexual ones so they can have safe unprotected sex. Real sex, I should say. Wrap it up and it's no different that using a flesh light or getting a hand job. Sex is the exchange of fluids and if that's not happening you're not having real sex. Yes there's is risk, that's why you choose your partners carefully and get to know their habits. There is risk in driving flying and stepping out of your house but you do it anyway because if you lived life afraid of risk you would never live. 

That said, I had a sexual partner for a couple years who always insisted on using a condom when I always insisted that we didn't need to. One night he took it off without me knowing and I only found out after. He denied it but I knew and it felt violating. Like why wouldn't he just ask me or tell me, I would have been ok with it. It felt like he took something from me and I felt raped. This is not the way to treat your partner. All diseases aside, it is a gross breach of trust and is most definitely RAPE. 

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This has been going on forever although you used to hear it was women putting holes in the condoms. Wouldn't surprise me if it is going on in the gay community as well. It definitely is not rape though.

You got to wonder what happens when the woman gets pregnant etc. Then what?? Now if someone does it and has an STI, then it's definitely a crime. Either way, it's better to be safe then sorry.

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