Help! I Think I'm Addicted To Buying Escorts
A 25-year-old gay man reached out to The Sun's Dear Deidre over his fear that he's becoming addicted to sex with escorts. He's also concerned about the credit card debt he's incurring in the process.
I HAD sex with two escorts in three days – and now I’m worried I’m getting hooked on them.
I’m a 25-year-old gay guy and have never had a boyfriend.
I’m a computer programmer for a big software company. I work with lots of different people but I never seem to have anyone interested in me.
Everyone is geeky and they’re wrapped up in their work rather than wanting to go out.
My friend told me about an escort agency he used. I signed up and went out with my first escort six months ago.
I’m not fully out yet so it’s nice to spend time with someone sexy.
He was 23 and at university and said he was using the money to help with his student loan.
We went out for a meal then back to a flat he rented.
He offered me a drink but I knew I was paying by the hour so I just said, “Can we have sex, please?” He nodded and we went to his bedroom.
He let me take off his clothes. I stood back and looked at him. I’d never been able to stare at a naked guy in the flesh before.
When we had sex, it felt so good. I met him the following week and we had sex again.
I travelled to Holland on a training course for a month after that but I called the agency when I got back.
My guy wasn’t available so I booked somebody else and had sex with him.
I’ve been doing it every week since but it’s expensive. I’ve tried to find another hobby but I soon get bored and go back to escort guys.
I went with someone at the weekend and then the agency told me the first guy I’d been with was back working, so I booked him for the following night.
I don’t really have the money to keep doing this. I’m using my credit cards and I think it’s getting out of control.
Deidre offered this advice:
If you are spending money you can’t afford on credit cards to satisfy your sexual needs, you’re heading into trouble. But I don’t think I’d label this an addiction.
The real problem is that you haven’t come out in a way to help you build up a full social life, giving you the opportunity to meet potential partners who want you for you, not your wallet.
Talk it over with Switchboard LGBT+ (switchboard.lgbt, 0300 330 0630). Perhaps counselling would help or maybe you just need social contacts.
Focus on building a new life for yourself and take a positive step in that direction every time you feel tempted to contact the escort agency.
If you’ve been having unprotected sex, you should have a sexual health check and use protection in future.
What's your take?