How Important Is Meeting Your Boyfriend's Parents?
Who have you introduced to your family?
"As gay people, we get to choose our own families," - RuPaul
Throughout my short time on this Earth, I've befriended the best misfits I've encountered. These misfits, my best gay-friends, are immensely a part of me. I find myself relying more on the opinion of my friends who became family, rather than actual blood relatives.
The entire LGBTQ+ Community is united simply for coming out. We've had the conversation with ourselves and our loved ones, "this is me." It is one of the few steps in life where our straight allies will not be able to relate too.
Coming out, for some, have consequences. I was as gay as it got from birth. Trust me, I was likely hitting on baby boy's in the maternity ward. Officially, I came out at 14 years old...to my friends. My Irish-Catholic mother instilled a healthy fear in me, so I couldn't dare tell her- yet. When, I left for college, it was my time to shine and have the freedom I craved. I came out to her!
We didn't speak for two years after our conversation.
During those years, I'd meet someone I fell head over heels for and would date for over a year. Abruptly, he wanted to introduce me to his family. I was intimidated, no one ever necessarily wanted me to meet anybody. I met his wonderful, large, Italian family. I recall my boyfriend's mother asking me when she'd get to meet my kin. When I bluntly told her I didn't have one, shock took over her face. Their liberal, open-minded family was much different than mine. She was confused as to why I didn't have one. I was surprised I was meeting one.
Unfortunately, I often discover that in the LGBTQ+ Community, some have the same answer I once had. "I don't have much of a family after coming out." It's heartbreaking, but I understand that some left due to hostile situations and the like. Recently, I went on a series of dates with someone who said that same line that I've said before. He struggled to get it out, like a bad catchphrase he's tired of repeating.
Have you introduced your significant other to your parents?
Years later, I've since introduced my mother (who became my best friend) to two men who were special to me. It was always a climax in my relationships. I refused to bring just anyone home. My story could be different and I'm glad that it isn't. I anticipate the day I can introduce the one to my fabulous mother.
However, I don't see an issue with never having to meet my significant other's parents. As I mature, I've realized all of the traditional values I was raised on don't necessarily apply to me anymore. Meeting the parents isn't important to me.
Do you need to meet the parents to solidify your relationship?