Lady Bunny To The LGBT Community: 'Let’s cancel gay pride!'

Photo: YouTube/The New Yorker

Lady Bunny has had it, officially!

Amidst the outrage that came in response to the news that the city of Philadelphia had added black and brown stripes to the pride flag in order to signify the inclusion of people of color, the drag performer had this to say:.

Let’s cancel gay pride! Instead, let’s just fight over the fucking flag this year! Let’s fight over the correct terms for everybody. Let’s dismiss everyone who doesn’t want to transition as a privileged cisgender. Let’s spar over the name of our own damn community–is it gay, LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBTQIA or did we bring back two spirits yet? I also saw a Y in there recently and have no idea what that even is. 

Let’s admit right now that we hate each other as a community, and that we’re too ungrateful to celebrate the freedoms which we do have once a year. Let’s compartmentalize ourselves into bears, twinks, butches, femmes, trans, tops, bottoms and those who claim they have no gender to further divide an already small community which does not have rights to equal housing and employment. And we’re even barred from using the bathrooms of their choice in some states! 

That’s a surefire way to make sure we’ll never get equal rights. Let’s boil it down to the tiniest arguments which will mean nothing in six months or even six days. If we took the energy and vitriol we reserved to pounce on one flag variation in one city and turned it on those who seek to destroy our rights, we’d be running the world tomorrow and we’d all have gorgeous new hairstyles to boot.

And in our supreme jadedness of which I am also guilty, let’s try and remember that there are young members of our own tribe who have gotten nothing but soul-destroying messages from their schoolmates, their churches and even from their families. Do they need our help? They need to see large groups of their own tribe in a festive environment so that they don’t feel so alone. They need to see happy and proud gay, lesbian, transsexual and every color of the rainbow folk actually liking and supporting each other. 

Or would youth even want to join this community if they saw the way we’ve been acting lately?

Is the LGBT community tearing itself apart? Do you agree with Lady Bunny's take?

Let us know in the comments.

H/T: The WOW Report

Comments

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Oh! Dear Bun Bun!

I love you hon, and agree wholeheartedly except for the major point of cancelling Pride. Even though I haven't participated or even gone to the parade in the past few years, (Been there, Done that!) I do think it's good for most of us to get our asses out there, no matter our differences. I understand your frustration w all this silliness of compartmentalizing (or whatever the hell it's called!) It gets beyond stupid w all the divisiveness when we forget our divineness. Im glad I'm still alive after all these years of shenanigans (sounds so Irish!) aren't you? Where will you be on Sunday? I'll be having brunch w most of my family upstate at...ready? Bear Mountain! Love you, bitch!

-TRET a la Karen Valentine

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I fought in the 60's, 70's and 80's to achieve my rights as a Gay Man and I fought for a non ethnicity, non skin colour, non culture Pride flag which is inclusive to all .... what Amber Hikes has done is divided the Gay Community by creating these new brown and black stripes on the flag... she is very ignorant to think that we will sit back and let her roll over us... other groups such as Trans, Bi, Bears and Leather Gays have all developed their own flags and Ms Hikes should have done the same thing.  Amber Hikes the creator of the new flag is dividing the Gay Community just like TRUMP has divided the US .... Leave our pride alone and leave our flag alone... the only black on our flag goes on the bottom to represent the memories of those who lost their lives to AIDS and Homophobia....  Done with Amber Hikes and her attempts to destroy the Gay Community... also I am a Gay Scottish man I want Plaid on the flag too then .... 

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COULDN'T AGREE MORE WITH THE LADY, EVEN IF I TRIED. Thank you - well said, and SPOT ON. :)

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I was with you Lady Bunny, you made some good points! Then I got to the part where you talk about what our gay youth want or need to see, and frankly my big concern is not the flag or the infighting that will be the cross we will always carry in gay culture, if anyone could ever pin that down...I cannot and I am 54...my son, 15, just came out as bi to my husband and I, and in truth, what I see at Pride is not what I think my kid needs to see as a gay/bi questioning youth! Really? A bunch of guys in tight shorts grinding on each other? Asses hanging out of chaps or any of that overly simplified sexual coding...hey let people exercise their sexual freedom, and be who they are, it is fine to a point, and if it does not drown out what might represent others of us, who do not relate to that version of what gay is...but how about those of us, who do not want to be represented that way, how about gay families? Where are the representations of committed relationships? How about something for those of us who work our asses off to support our families, where are the kids? Where are the floats that say we love our gay youth, we love our gay elders? No, instead it is one after another just float full of men wearing slutty rainbow shorts, blasting loud dance music like gay life = gay club scene, and acting like all we think about is sex?  "They need to see large groups of their own tribe in a festive environment so that they don’t feel so alone."  I will say they do! I agree with that...jmho!

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I don't care what he thinks. I do know Muslims are going to have no problem wiping gays out of existence, though. 

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Yeah, call me when they add the white stripe. Once again whites are supposed to be fine that everyone else gets special recognition. But not us. 

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As a white male, I am fine with that. Being white is not a struggle. Being white means that I don't get shot by a cop at a traffic stop. Whiteness is not diversity, whiteness is privileged. Let's uphold and support those who don't have the privileges we do so that maybe someday, they will. Our people stole this country from the natives and killed and raped and plundered to make this nation into what it is today. Is that something to be PROUD of?

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I wouldn't want to be white

Whites dont age well

Black dont crack

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Note, too, that it's both the whitest states in the U.S., and the whitest countries in the world, that are the best for gay equality. Yes, that IS something to be proud of. 

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How is a state with a predominantly one race can claim to have the best equality policies? When you live within an evenly-distributed, multi-racial communities peacefully, where everyone has the same rights and treatment, then that is something to be proud of! 

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It's another example of whites leading the way for gay equality. Vermont and New Hampshire : the two whitest states in the country. So if the flag stripes have to represent skin hues now we better see white and pink. 

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White men also gave you this computer. As well as almost everything else you'll use today. So it goes both ways. (Privilege is earned). 

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Yeah, that white gave us a computer, but how does that represent his character? So we are judging people based on materialistic contributions? At any rate, that "white" guy got his privilege. My issue is simply this; two teenagers, one is black and one is white, both grow up in the same neighborhood with same achievements. Why is the black kid treated way differently than the white kid when they both contribute evenly to the communities? The white kid earns the privilege because of some white guy, who has no relation to the white kid, gave the world a computer? It is very easy for those who don't have to face the daily racism to claim there is no such thing. 

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You want to deal with privilege now....try Asians and Indians in the medical field. They're making even racist whites look kumbaya. (Actually, I do agree that nobody should be blamed or acclaimed for the general actions of his race. But I understand why it happens). 

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There are lots of contrubutions that enable us to be on or devices. That you think they are came from white people tells us you don't know what you're talking about.

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The pride flag is a rainbow symbolic of ALL COLORS (psst that's what a rainbow is) ---- period --- that's why it was created in the first place.  No need to alter what it already stands for....sigh

One community please....

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I so agree!

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Hear! Hear!

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Of course the LGBT(I'm stopping there, because the acronym just gets into semantics after that, imo...)"community" is divided-we aren't the same, we don't believe in the same things and we don't have the same problems.  In my experience, gay men are often the least understanding and supportive of trans rights. Lesbians generally lead very different lives from gay men and don't face the same kinds of systemic societal discrimination and disdain. Bisexual people aren't always accepted by gays and lesbians. All that and more divides us, and  that is without even getting into racism, ageism and sexism.

If you took all of the racial minorities and tried form a "community" you would get the same results (ok, probably worse...). There is a reason that doesn't exist on a large scale.

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Let's stop the name calling...and address people by their first names. Let's embrace each other as HUMANS that have feelings.   Stop the genderizing....gay, lesbian, trans, crossdresser etc. We are humans, we have feelings and we are people with names.

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You don't even go to school here!! 

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Sounds nice. Problem is, your solution obliterates the identity of some people who are being ignored or erased in everyday life. The unity of the community is a shared desire for equal opportunity to self-actualize. Nobody ever tells a straight cis-gender person to hide. 

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How about people cancel her contracts and appearances....I hate artists who make money and a name from their appearances but won't take a stand on a decision....instead she basically got her name in the Press for not really taking a stand for anything other than stop the bitching....the Philadelphia Pride Flag IS something worth a community discussion.

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I totally agree. Bickering about allll the terms we call ourselves. We need to be together and strong as one people, but all the different names, titles, and such, we call ourselves. Can't we be Gay, and be United for our rights? Otherwise, it ain't happening!! Tell it Lady Bunny!! 

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I am gay, call yourselves whatever the fuck you want. My community is a community of gay people, it does not matter what their gender, race, religion, sexual birth designation or post birth determination. I am gay, come be gay with me.

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Yes I would most definitely have to agree with the Lady. We all by ourselves are tearing our own community apart. It really does make me sad for us all. 

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yes I have said this for years, we want the world to except us but can not except each other. I have always included all types of gay friends as do I except kind of straight friends. I do not limits myself to just men or just femmes extra, we are all one in my eyes. I have been like this since I came out at age 27 and never looked back and never regretted it. I have people I know hwo will not except others for one reason or another. But if we want the world to except us than we have to except each other no matter what type of person we are. WE ARE ONE. LOVE each other the same. Thank you Lady Bunny

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Right on Michael. It's time to be one community. There's too much division & political correction - it's almost boring. FYI 'accept' is the word you're meaning, 'except' means non inclusive. X 

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Eddie Scarry on the proposed addition of new colors.

'They finally have a rightful place next to the blue, green and indigo people that the flag included so long ago'. - Eddie Scarry on Twitter

https://twitter.com/eScarry/status/874680941012242432

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Community is an experience of communing.  We must recognize that there is more that unites us than divides us.  

Be we tweaker, sober, drag, trans, kinky, corporate, sloppy, preppy, hip, geek, gendered, not, lesbian, Latinx, gay, godless, intersex, asexual, multi-racial, white bread,  privileged, poor, survivor, victim, HIV positive, 'clean', plus size, petite, wonky, woke, racist, radical, sexist, sensual, bottom, butch, Asian, African, Christian, Pagan, Pansexual, monogamous, married, mature, twink or twisted ....  there is more that unites us than divides us.

Whether we use the terms above to describe ourselves or loathe them -- we all look like targets to the hateful.  

Perhaps at a time in our history, when that was much more obvious, we all just knew it instinctively.  Now that enough of the 'western' world tolerates 'the nice gays'  who 'don't shove it in our faces' or 'flaunt their perversion',  the targets are mostly drawn on those around the edges of our flock, like a pack of wolves hunts a herd of deer.

Are we better than that?  Will we keep moving, close in our ranks, and sacrifice our brothers and sisters who fall too far outside the 'norm'.

Because eventually the wolves will come for us all.  Like cowards,  they start with the most vulnerable.  But it will not stop.

One day we all might tread in the fear known by all our kind before the words 'gay' and 'proud' shared a sentence.

Then, all our infighting will be seen as the communal suicide that it is.

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Agreed

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Trans, Black, as well as Brown people are being denied access to Gay Bars by White Owners.

Trans, Black, as well as Brown people are being called the N* word by Gay White Establishment Owners: iCandy.

Receipts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3hOVbKGpfs

Trans, Black as well as Brown people are being denied healthcare from public services by Gay White officials.

So now that you got yours I shouldn't have mine?

Trust I am very successful and I do my part because most of the homeless population are Trans, Black and Brown youths.  So if we are community, don't walk past me or look at me as a BBC when I am sitting at the bar.

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I'm blk trans now 45

When I was partying in gay clubs I never been denied or called the n word or felt out of.place at white own gay bars I live going to the monsters in the village its not a big club the ppl are friendly and hotbgsy guys tofantasties about lol

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I agree with Lady Bunny. She's right. We as a community need to come together as one blended group and drop the effin' labels. By the time we finish adding letters and trying to amend colors to our flag in an attempt to define ourselves, we'll be in July. Why can't we focus on what is really important; all of us as a family, being proud of who we are and celebrating the freedoms we enjoy because of those that paved our way before us. How can the youth of today feel secure in who they are when the rest of us are bickering about labels?  What example does that set?  We can do better.   

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Yep. Totally agree with her.  The community has divided itself so extensively that there is no collective community.  I havent been to pride since I was maybe 24... Im 36 n now. I never saw Pride as a celebration of community. It was always struck me an orgy of perversion rather than a welcoming celebration.  Bare naked guys gyrating to music and everyone doing their best to be as lude and tasteless as possible.  Not what I considered "community"  Just like all the White parties and Pink parties, etc., the worst of the worst to represent us.  Yeah, I guess thats what the community ( if there is one) wants the worrld to think of us.  I actually had a straight friend's sister ask me to go clubbing with her so that she could score some drugs as she just assumed that all gay men party.  Not this gay man sister.  Dont drink, dont smoke, and dont "party"    

I personally dont give 2 shits what color the flag is. I do care about equal rights.  

Will not be attending any pride festivals this year. How can you have pride when you behave the way you do? 

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Amen!

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I do disagree with her on few points. Youth do not need to see the current state of Pride festivals to feel inclusive. Party scenes are not the way to instill a sense of community or pride, especially with all the drugs and alcohol that are present not to mention unsafe sex.  The gay community should not be about parties and sex!  Young gay people need healthy successful mentors in their lives not drunken clowns out for a good time.  

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Justin, She isn't saying that the gay youth of today need to see drunken gay people falling down in the streets.  She is saying that they need to see their community celebrating and  joyous, not bickering and throwing shade all the time and dividing each other along the tiniest of lines.  That's her point.  When a young gay kid from a tiny rural town sees large groups of people celebrating and happy, it gives them hope in their current situation.  That's the point.  Work with enough gay youth as I have and you hear that over and over again.  

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I couldn't agree more... I haven't been to gay pride in years... It means nothing to the younger generation. They have no clue what they are celebrating or honoring.  It's a shame.

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I concur. Bigger issues (always) at hand. Get it together people!

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Unfortunately, this exact same mentality is occurring among Progressive/Liberals.  It's like everyone is in a race to show how much Progressive they are than everyone else.  Or how they've been "woke" the longest.  Or how they've been participating in protests since they were inside their mothers' wombs.  Everyone else be damned! They get angrier at new protestors than at the opposition they are protesting.  This is no way to attract people to your side of the political divide.  In fact, that mentality does more to turn people off to your ideas than the other way around.  This could even lead people to actively campaign against.  Liberals & the LGBT community better watch out or we might have to re-fight all the previous battles again.

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I agree with Lady Bunny! We all take the freedoms hard won by those who came before us for granted. I myself do this and seeing someone put it into words I feel that sharp twinge of guilt and the agony of shame. Pride isn't about division and exclusion, Pride is about inclusion and being proud about who we are as a community! Come on people stop bickering about other people in our community, turn that piss and vinegar into the energy we need to finally make our community equal not just in America but through out the world! You think people in our community have it bad here in America? They have f*cking concentration camps for people like us in Russia and Chechnya! Gay people in the Middle East get beaten to death and mutilated if people find out they're gay... all of us here in the US have it so easy compared to other parts of the world where hiding who you are is a necessity because you will be killed if you don't. So yes I agree with Lady Bunny, we need to cancel Pride until the people of the LGBT community here in America pull our heads out of our asses. 

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