Nigel Campbell's picture

Mother Stiffs Gay Server On $100 Check: 'I Do Not Agree With Your Lifestyle'

Well isn't this a gem? Apparently a New Jersey mom with two kids at a Gallop Asian Bistro had no problem shoveling $100 worth of food into her family's mouths, but she had a big problem with tipping her androgynous lesbian waitress. 

Dayna Morales, a former U.S. Marine posted this on the "Have A Gay Day" Facebook page:

Dayna writes: 

I'm a server at Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater, NJ and THIS is what happened to me today.....

The note says "sorry I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle & the way you live your life" 

NEVER in a million years did I think this would happen. Not only was it a family with two kids, but as I introduce myself and tell them my name is Dayna - the mom proceeds to look at me and say "oh I thought you were gonna say your name is Dan. You sure surprised us!"

I am THOROUGHLY offended mad pissed off and hurt that THIS is what her kids will grow up learning and that I served in the Marines to keep ignorant people like them free. Sorry lady but I don't agree with YOUR lifestyle and the way you're raising your kids but you didn't see me throwing that in your face and giving you shitty service. Keep your damn mouth shut and pray we never cross paths again.

Dayna M.

How classy of this mom to explain her reasons behind stiffing the server who just spent time on her feet putting food on your table. 

Dayna later told her Facebook supporters (and there are many): 

Thanks everyone for your support - it took very fiber of my being not to spit in their food and say something. (Not gonna lie if kids weren't there it would of been a totally different story)


How would you have reacted, Instincters?


(H/T: Gaily Grind)


You're a worthless name caller, no actual insite. Way to prove my point, that is all.

Well said!!! Or should I say well written! Totally agree with ya!

Best thing you could do.... Take a picture of her. Text it to all of your friends. You work in foodservice. That means most of your friends do too. That's just an industry thing. She won't be able to eat out anywhere anymore. You can post the check on FB or wherever as long as it's scrubbed, but her picture is fair game to text around EVERY food service establishment in the area. Or you could just spend a lil cash and get dirt on her with a Private Investigator. Wouldn't be tough. It would be vindictive. 

To whomever "Me" is: That is the most ridiculous thing I've read all day. Typical American myopia and self-righteousness. Your reaction here is really no better than the customer's insensitive remarks and stingy, non-existent tip.

Are you really that typically lowest-common denominator American? It's comments like yours that have me worried for my country. Wow.

Wrong! You're part of the problem.

The most ridiculous thing about this is how ignorant the general public is about how a server actually gets paid. When a server stiffed on a bill it is actually costing them to serve that ignorant guest. There is typically tipout to a bartender and various other people. You think servers make minimum wage? Wrong. In most cases it is under 3$ an hour which goes to taxes. YES it is optional to tip, but what is really grounds for getting no tip? Its not like the server didn't do the job, they just sucked at it. So leave 10%. That's actually way more hurtful in my opinion than stiffing the server. That just proves ignorance and EVERY single server will never see why it was deserved. Just makes you the asshole. So think before you act people.

Wow $87.43 and the taxes on that are $6.12!!!!! That is awesome. Here where I live taxes would have been around $9.88. My wife and I do not go out to eat at places like this a lot but when we do have the money to we take enough to tip atleast 15%, 25% if we're very pleased. I'm a Blue Collar worker and I respect hard workers like servers. Regardless of their sexuality. That's ridiculous.

Thank you for serving our country, so that people can speak their minds so freely. But it doesn't always mean they should. I am also greatful you had the courage to post this, I hope people see this and realize the awfull people that are out there and think they are free at No cost to them.

You get people like that everywhere you live. Sad, but true. Personally speaking. I would not piss in her ear if her brain was on fire. True the tip is optional, but the comment is uncalled for.

TO everyone that says its the diner's prerogative whether she wanted to tip or not. What 99% of people who SAY that actually don't know is that on the worker's income statement, the IRS automatically assumes she got tipped 20% and is charged tax on that whether she got tipped or not.  That's the way it is in property-accounted establishments.

SO to anyone that is not leaving tips, you are also costing the server money on income tax too.

Not true, do some research.

As someone who has waited with lifetime professional servers (i.e. they've been serving 15+ years), I have been told repeatedly to claim 8-10% with IRS or their experience is the govt. will audit.  I don't know if it's true.  

BUT, the point made earlier about actually losing money IS true when it comes to tipping out at the end of the night.  The bartender at the restaurant (and sometimes the host/hostess) always got tipped out of our retail totals at the end of the night.  They typically received 20% of my 15% tip.  If I got stiffed, then I would have to pay the 1/5 of the expected tip to them out of my pocket -- always.  So, on a $90 check I would have to tip them out around  $2.70. That is the truth.  For those who have not waited tables in the U.S. before, it really is more than optional.  In other countries this is true, but their hourly wages are higher. The plates of food cost a lot more too.  That's because the gratuity is figured into the menu prices.   In the U.S. servers get paid less than $3 USD/hour.  Yes, you heard that correctly.  I've gotten served by people who were absolute train wrecks but I always have left a tip if they delivered my food.  Compromising their livelihood because you don't agree with their choices in life is just pathetic.

There's no obligation to leave a tip...that's your job, you don't like it change it...she wrote what she felt...freedom of speech...I just think she should said to your face! You fight for your beliefs, she fights for hers...the world goes round! 

I'm starting to believe you are the person who wrote the note. It's the only reason why you would defend so much a bully like this, either that or you are seriously retarded. 

You're not very intelligent.  If servers were actually paid an appropriate wage, do you have any idea how much it would actually cost you to go out to dinner?  Idiot.

So very true.  These people should travel a bit and learn a lot more about this world.  It all comes down to leading a more secular life.  These poor souls defending this lady are just plainly ignorant.  This is the only way you could possibly defend their collective behavior.

Let me think on this one since I'm an idiot and all...hmmm...about 10 bucks if you go to any fast food chain and not have to tip anything...and if I'm already paying 100 bucks on food, wouldn't really care about how much it would cost if servers were "paid appropriately." Fucking moron! 

And we all know the food you get at a fast food chain is just as tasty and the same quality as the food you get at an establishment that actually has servers that come to your table, take your order, bring you your food, check to be sure everything is ok, refill your drinks, clear your plates, etc.  Yeah, it would be a lot more than $10 per person if servers were paid an hourly wage they could actually live on. Fucking moron!

Yup it's pretty much the same quality and still satisfies KB!  If u don't like getting paid like a waiter/waitress, don't be one! It's that simple you fucking moron! You have no input on the actual debate here, you're just a mad server...and it's ok...I don't hold it against, you are entitled to your own opinion, AS AM I!! 

"Pretty much the same quality " that statement alone disqualifies you from any intelligent conversation about fine dining, and If KB is a server, she is far more qualified to comment on the hardship of trying to live off of a waitresses salary, yes, they live on tips, and YES, the quality of their service to others should be a barometer on how well they live, but even a waitress at IHOP, deserves the same respect as someone working in a four star restaurant, this was an Asian Bistro, which would signify somewhat more than your average dining experience, and usually, servers in such establishments, are trained to serve a formal clientele, this was a simple case of bigotry, based on the antiquated religious premise, that homosexuals are lesser people, and not entitled to exist along side the "enlightened" good Christian customer, who was teaching such a fine lesson to her children, who will no doubt, grow up to be just as enlightened, mores the pity! 

"Pretty much the same" is exactly what i meant mike...let me explain it to you since you lack intelligence. Pancakes from McDs pretty much taste the same as pancakes from IHOP...the $1 dr.pepper at Mcds tastes exactly the same as the $3 dr. Pepper at any "fine dining" I said before...if KB can't survive on a server's income, maybe she/he should change employment...if she/he were intelligent enough to do so! As far as Christian values and morals...they are all retrieved from the good book...everyone should be respected, even if they are bigots. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even if it's not like yours Mike!!

I fully embrace the concept that people's opinions differ from mine, and please tell me again about my intelligence, yours was never in question here, I spoke to the lesson of intolerance, and not everyone believes in your " good book", but that's another can of worms all together, I swore an oath to defend this country, and the rights of its citizens wherein, so please save yourself the embarrassment of continuing to doubt my motives in defending this waitress, the mother was showing her children that it is alright to discriminate on the grounds of sexual orientation, which is her right as a parent, but sets up an awfully painful lesson for her children, further down the line, all this based on the misguided notion that Jesus taught his disciples " love thy neighbor as yourself, (excepting of course, your neighbor is gay" then it's Okie dokie to shun them" ) I must have missed that part of the Ten Commandments , you know..those ten laws from which your good book sprung!? ( and please tell me again about my intelligence, my IQ would boggle your feeble mind!) 

Your IQ is more than likely a single digit number Mike! If you fight to protect the constitution, then you must believe that the person who wrote the note on the receipt has all the right in the world to express her opinion...I stand behind my god, I have principles and morals and accept people how and what they are, but I have no obligation to force my beliefs on any one...the writer feels the need to voice her opinion...more power to her...the waitress had to put this on blast....more power to her...if you don't get that peoples opinions will always differ, I'm sorry I can't help you understand the greater picture here!

People absolutely do have the right to their opinions. They do not have the right to force their beliefs on other people . . . especially in a hurtful way.  That did happen here.  I've already addressed this elsewhere.

You're right tipping is an option, but this is pure discrimination and judgment.  It's not like she said, "Hi, my name is Dayna, and I'm your lesbian server."  The guest is a biggot, and if she had a problem she should have asked for a different server.  

So are you judging the guest now calling her a "bigot?" What does that make you?

No pumpkin thats bullshit. If you dont want to tip fine, but don't openly discriminate to the point the kids will pick up that sort of happen.

How is this openly discriminating? She wrote it on the ticket meant for the waitress...did the waitress have to put it on Facebook...ummmm....NO! The waitress could have scratched it out and that would be the end of it, but no...she just wants to be labeled a victim...well get the fuck over it!

@Opinionanted I feel so sorry for you right now and whoever raised you with those ideals, your parents did an extremely lousy job, if you are their reflections, they were or are HORRIBLE, and I really feel sorry that you grew up to be the inadequate persona you HAVE BECOME with such narrow mentality, I just hope you never have the possibility to have kids in case you turn them like that as well. I'm embarrassed I have people like yourself living in this country calling themselves Americans. Good day to you and the other guy Justin FOR SUCH DISGUSTING SELFISH MENTALITY 

Are you judging me Cristian? Do you know me or how I was raised? No. I have opinions and I share them...this is what makes me American! Part of the reason I love being American is being able to voice my opinions, hopefully without having people get offended...but if they do, it's their problem..and I for one will still have my opinions and it doesn't affect you or your life one Christian are an idiot, a moron, and very uneducated...but alas, this is only my opinion! are very intelligent! Finally a real American! 

We could  make this very easy if we just made everyone  who wanted to voice an opinion first take an IQ test.  In my perfect world, only people with viable intelligence should be allowed to post an opinion.  Poor Opinionated would be locked in a box, screaming to get to the keyboard.   We could stick that box in a cage and derive hours of endless fun watching the Opinionated's irritation and annoyance.  I'll even buy the popcorn.  

I have a feeling you would be in the box with your perfect world...

Wow!! That is just as ignorant and uneducated as the idiot who wrote the note. congratulations on being a douchebag!'re sooo judgmental and discriminatory!! 

This is like the 20th receipt with awful things written on it Ive seen in the last year. Anyone else feel that we might be being trolled a bit? I mean, it is easy Karma on Reddit.

hope this cunt chokes on a dick

I know this is being just as ignorant but I would have posted all of her info or credit card that she to can feel  the hurt that you experienced...

The server could have lost her job if she posted all the information including the restaurant. It is against the social media policy. Additionally if that person found out, they could potentially sue you for slander. ;) but it's a nice thought.

they only show the last 4 numbers on receipts anyway so it wouldn't really matter

I think that it is crazy that someone believes they can refuse to tip for service based on someone's sexuality. When you apply for jobs it is illegal for them to discriminate based on race, sex, sexuality, religious beliefs etc. This person in a nutshell is paying the server her wages, but yet they believe they have the right to discriminate. Despicable. Welcome to the real world, you may not want to be like everyone that you meet and their decisions, but that's why they are their decisions. Live the life you want to live, be the person you want to be, and if you want to be a judgmental piece of shit, then keep it to yourself and leave your children and everyone else out of it.

You're an idiot. If you want to promote that kind of freedom, you must accept her thoughts as well. Must be nice wearing those rose colored glasses.

"I do not agree with your lifestyle and how you live your life" - How does the customer know ANYTHING about this waitress's life? 

"Everyone" is making such a big deal out of this because this woman crossed a line. Let's face it, there will always be ignorant, self-righteous, obnoxious individuals out there.  These people drill their hatred into their kids heads and then those kids will do the same some day,  It sucks, it's wrong, but to some degree, sadly, it will always be a part of life.

This rude woman had the right to stiff the waitress. What she did not have the right to do was put her pathetic excuse for not tipping on the bill. Furthermore, if she was so disturbed by the server, why didn't she leave or sit elsewhere.

Karma's a bitch, and so was this woman.

What? She had just as much of a 'right' to include an excuse on the bill, as she did to stiff the poor woman,  I dont like your comment at all. It's too easy to sit back and go 'hey, that's always gonna be that way'. That's not how change happens. The reason this is news is because it's shocking behavior that the majority of society is no longer willing to accept. It's important to share this and let others know, this is NOT okay. 

This is unacceptable behavior!! Reasons I wouldn't tip would be down to the service, not sexuality, race or any other stupid excuse. I will say however, someone mentioned earlier that they hope one of her kid's turns out to be gay..I disagree. I sincerely hope neither Of her children turn out gay, as they will be made to feel ashamed of themselves. I wouldn'. Wish that on anyone. But Dayna, I am sorry you had to deal with discrimination like this. You demonstrated you have better morals than this poor excuse for a human being, by simply keeping your opinions to yourself. I have so much respect for you and I hope you never have to deal with anything like this again. Hold your head high, all us lesbians have your back xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx much love from England!!

Ok as a bartender let me make clear, the name is covered, no vital info is shown, and signature a scribble so it's fine to post online. Also anyone who says that being blatantly cruel is ok because it must have been so obvious she was gay, you're a douchecanoe and should become a hermit. I am adopted by a blatantly gay man but that doesn't give this twatwaffle a reason to be on her high horse. Those poor kids! I hope one turns out to be gay.

I agree with you completely and I love your phraseology....douchcanoe, twatwaffle.  My 2 new words for the day!!

Its not cool to stiff someone who depends on tips for most of their income, BUT look at all the Hypocrites who don't have a problem with ripping Chick Fil A and costing them money just because of their choice to support "traditional" marriage hating on this lady  for doing the exact same thing....Time to reflect on the fact that when you claim that you want to be treated equal you have to accept the fact that others are allowed to be whatever way they want to be also, which includes bigoted jerks.

You're comparing apple to oranges.  Not giving a business your business is not the same as accepting services, and then making some weak "moral" stand as an excuse to not pay for them.  Bad service is one thing, but that isn't the case here.  If this woman is so righteous in her beliefs she should have just gotten up and left before eating!  If she had done that your analogy would be true, as it stands you pose bad logic.

Not defending her....just pointing out that everyone is allowed to have an opinion without all the hate. a Hypocrite is a hypocrite. It's just funny how the ones who claim to be hated and discriminated against are so quick to hate and discriminate and think it's justified on their behalf. No Matter what the income level.


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