Nigel Campbell's picture

Mother Stiffs Gay Server On $100 Check: 'I Do Not Agree With Your Lifestyle'

Well isn't this a gem? Apparently a New Jersey mom with two kids at a Gallop Asian Bistro had no problem shoveling $100 worth of food into her family's mouths, but she had a big problem with tipping her androgynous lesbian waitress. 

Dayna Morales, a former U.S. Marine posted this on the "Have A Gay Day" Facebook page:

Dayna writes: 

I'm a server at Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater, NJ and THIS is what happened to me today.....

The note says "sorry I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle & the way you live your life" 

NEVER in a million years did I think this would happen. Not only was it a family with two kids, but as I introduce myself and tell them my name is Dayna - the mom proceeds to look at me and say "oh I thought you were gonna say your name is Dan. You sure surprised us!"

I am THOROUGHLY offended mad pissed off and hurt that THIS is what her kids will grow up learning and that I served in the Marines to keep ignorant people like them free. Sorry lady but I don't agree with YOUR lifestyle and the way you're raising your kids but you didn't see me throwing that in your face and giving you shitty service. Keep your damn mouth shut and pray we never cross paths again.

Dayna M.

How classy of this mom to explain her reasons behind stiffing the server who just spent time on her feet putting food on your table. 

Dayna later told her Facebook supporters (and there are many): 

Thanks everyone for your support - it took very fiber of my being not to spit in their food and say something. (Not gonna lie if kids weren't there it would of been a totally different story)

Truth. 

How would you have reacted, Instincters?

 

(H/T: Gaily Grind)

Comments

karma's a bitch and i can't wait till it gets you :) have a great day

Eating at a restaurant is NOT mandatory either. You, susan, are the type of people that should start changing YOUR lifestyle. What she does in her personal life, is none of your damn business. Who she goes and sleeps with is NONE of your damn business. Just like the lady that refused to tip. She could've just made herself a bologna sandwich at home, but even THAT would have probably been too classy for such a scum of a person. Its a shame there are so many people like her, including you, susan.

Serving food in an eating establishment is a real job and you sound ignorant.  Who are you to say otherwise.  The fact of the matter is nobody has the right to be that rude to anyone.  If you stiff people that work their asses off for you while you sit your fat ass down and stuff your face, you are the one with a problem.  Please keep your stupid mouth shut.  I have no more time for your ignorance.

This isn't an issue of being "stiffed". This server would have never posted a check with a 0$ tip if it didn't include a little hateful note that the guest she served, you know, FOR FREE, doesn't tip BECAUSE THE SERVER IS GAY. 

Have you ever even been in a restaurant? I don't mean IN one, I mean A PART of one?

You and your ignorance belong right next to that mother and two children.

Good day.

How dare you say that serving isn't a real job. It's a real job, a real hard job. And I can't believe that anyone's sexual orientation would even affect your service. Nothing about your lifestyle could affect the way my sandwich tastes. Accepting that kind of ridiculous hate mongering is like saying it's ok. This person put their life on the line for them & all of us. They we're justifiably outraged & disgusted by this, as am I! 

Yes ,but,2 wrongs do not make a right. I can see where she would be angry, but do not let yourself stoop to there level.

There is nothing in the article that indicates the server has threatened to "spread bodily fluids on a customer's food."  You need to re-read the article.  Secondly, only low-life jerks refuse to tip.  And in this economy that may well be the only job she can find.  You impress me as being a selfish Republican.

It IS A REAL JOB. If that's how you feel, then STAY IN. Cook your own meals. Pour your own drinks. You won't be missed, because you're a lousy human being.

Hi Susan. You're an idiot and missed the point. Cheers!

It isn't just the 'stiffed' tip, it is the fact that this woman decided to go beyond stiffing a tip and write it was because of their lifestyle choices? Get a real job? Bitch please...did you miss the part where it said "I served as a MARINE!" They had a real job, defending assholes like you and this lady who don't deserve the freedoms that is given by the military members who serve/have served!

You want servers to be paid a living wage? Your $10 hamburger just became $20. Food in restaurants in the USA is cheap compared to other countries is because you basically agree to tip when you dine out. And to speak about this lady, she is a bad bad parent.

No, restaurants in the USA are not cheap. I just came back from Florence, Italy, and Barcelona, Spain, and both cities have better food for much less money in nicer restaurants. You obviously have not travelled much.

She doesnt have to tip if she doesn't want to. Why the hell would you be talking to her about your sexuality anyways? This is pathetic.

I doubt that speaking of sexuality was spoken to this woman, she was the one who said on I thought you were gonna say "Dan vs Dayna". She probably just assumed like the cunt she is.

If you READ everything about this story I think she is offended by what was said and not that she didn't leave a tip. If your going to comment on a story make sure it's about the focus of the story. If your not going to say anything nice (or relevent) don't day anything at all.

Cbjm, you're the one who is pathethic. The waitress said NOTHING about her sexuality to the mother. It was the mother who judged her, based on her appearance, and came to the conclusion that she was gay. And you're right, she didn't have to tip. She could have just left "0" and it would be just a shady customer. But the FACT she wrote and entire statement EXPLAINING why she didn't is just offensive. Just F*ck off.
 

She was judged by her appearance, she has a masculine style. Did you read the article? No one brought up sexuality except the woman looking for an excuse to discriminate.   

Sorry Dayna that this happened to you. I think the woman is a cheapskate and would not have tipped anyway. I think she is a poor excuse for a mom.

I would've told my manager and given the table to someone else...if possible. I'm not about the drama and confrontation...you wanna be a bigoted cunt? Fine, but I'm not serving you.

Regardless of reason, nobody should feel inclined to have to tip at all.  Sorry, but it's a personal choice, not a mandate (even if it is for discriminatory reasons).  Sucks and all, but it's the truth. 

I think you're missing the point here. The sever was not upset because of the lack of tip, but due to the discriminating note left on the receipt. Regardless of whether or not you agree with what you assume to be someone's lifestyle, discrimination due to that is unacceptable. If she truly felt uncomfortable due to the fact that her waitress was gay (which is sad and horrifically homophobic), it is the absolute height of disrespect to actually write that down as a reason. It actually saddens me to know that she is that ignorant and rude to think that this is acceptable behaviour.

You're an idiot. This isn't Europe. Do you not get how the system is structured? Patrons are expected to tip. If they weren't servers would make more than $2.13/hr in most places. If you don't tip it's literally like stealing from your server bc they have to tip out their support staff based on sales (what you ate) at the end of the night. Seriously horrible service is rare, and it's only cheapskates who have never served that even argue about tipping not being mandatory.

Bullshit. The only reason not to tip is poor service. Servers pay is based on tips.
 

Damn right. Waiters/Waitresses are paid shit salaries because the difference is made up by the amount of tips you make. Not tipping a server, even the bare minimum of 15%, is basically denying them the opportunity to support themselves. Sorry, but if you don't tip your server, you are beyond insulting them and thus making yourself look like a complete ass. Much like this woman did on such a disgusting reason as "not agreeing" with someones sexuality. 

Her husband was probably with his boyfriend.

Ha!

Sue the bitch

Unless the server was wearing something that indicated that she was gay, this woman based her "non-tipping" purely on how the server looked (androgynous).  My 13 year old daughter chooses to have her hair very short, in a buzz-cut because it is easier for her and minimal care is needed for it...  I assume that his woman would judge my 13 year old and disaprove of her "lifestyle" as well.....  purely on the basis that she does not have long hair.....  RIDICULOUS!

And the worst thing is that his mother is teaching her kids that it is OK to discriminate against people purely on the basis of how they look!  Poor kids to be raised by such a bigoted mother!

You know I think it is high time to start shaming these people publicly, start printing their names from their receipts!

I agree with you 100000%!

What a stupid cunt...my blood is boiling after reading that. If "it" (and "it" being that wretched bitch customer...because I don't feel it's worthy of referring to as a person or gender, nor should it be raising CHILDREN!!!) but if IT felt that strongly, then IT should have requested a new table and been miserable elsewhere. This is ridiculous and should never happen. Stay strong and have hope in people...some like IT are just a lost cause and KARMA will prevail !!! 

First of all, that word drives  me CRAZY!  Your lifestyle is something you choose...the gym, being lazy, being active, a traveler, a bookworm...etc.  Your ORIENTATION is something that is part of you and not something you "do".  Just goes to show you how truly ignorant that woman is (or anyone who uses that word for that matter).   Luckily, the internet is able to shine the spotlight on ignorance like this and hopefully she will someday become more enlightened to the reality of the world around her.

I really understand how people can be down there. I grew up in Bridgewater with my father in the late 8's and early 90's. My father was gay and everyone in the town knew. They treated us horribly. The children wouldn't be my friends they would taunt me and say horrible things about me and my father because they had heard their parents talking.

We left when I was 10 to move to Ontario. I had hoped it was better down there now, I have not been back in so long. But you know what they say, small place, small minds.

That woman is a Bitch- she's not tipping based on your lifestyle , she is tipping based on service. In Toronto if a person can't afford to tip they can't afford to eat out.

I hope the owner has the integrity to ban her from the restaurant if she is going to be rude like that.

Keep your head up. People don't change, but the more of us there are the better things will become.

That mom is wrong in so many ways I can't decide which ones to mention! Just amazing..I can't believe she thinks this was acceptable do no matter what!

If she had such a problem with your lifestyle, why did she let you serve her in the first place....she waits till the last second?? stingy B*atch!

From here on, new restaurants should automatically add 20% gratuity to every bill for the waitstaff. That'll put an end to this nonsense once and for all.
 

And if Restaurants paid waiters a decent wage, tips would be uneccesary!

I'm sad that events like this are garnering media attention because its fodder for more people who just don't want to tip to use the excuse of "moral exception".

Is there any plans to let the rest of the world i.e. all of us lot tip you instead? Set up a paypal address - she'll soon learn that karma is a b**ch. Seriously, i am so sorry that this happened to you, no one should have to put up with that.

This is cause to add an automatic 18% gratuity to every bill.  Try and weasel out of that when it's automatically included.  We have a huge number of Canadian snowbirds in FL who think it's not appropriate to leave a tip.  Guess what?  All the nice restaurants now automatically add a gratuity.  I don't care if my server is gay, straight, BI, trans or asexual as long as I get good service and I reward that.

What does this have anything to do with "Canadian snowbirds"? If anything, Canadians have more respect and courtesy to tip than most of your country. Guess what! Americans don't always tip either. 

Your Canadian snowbirds don't tip because servers in Canada are paid a living wage and tips are extra. In my province, anyway - I've heard it differs. These people don't realize that servers in the U.S. are paid garbage.

God, now you're the ignorant prick. In Canada, people tip for service.  Perhaps you should improve your service.
And yes, we do have a higher standard of living, and better spending methods - perhaps that's why we're buying the shitty Florida condos you can't afford - thanks for noticing.
 

Should have embarrassed her in front of her kids- honestly, at least they would have known early on "Something's wrong with Mom", instead of 15,000.00 in psychiatric bills later in their 20's.  There's still hope, if they are not home schooled. 

This woman is a presumptuous bitch! What does she know about your life?!
She knows that you are a server and that your name is Dayna.
She had to find justification in her narrow mind for not tipping you on a nearly $100 tab and your assumed "lifestyle" is all she could come up with.
It sucks that you didn't get paid for your time and work but wouldn't want you to be there when Karma slaps her in the face...it will happen, you know.
 

It just looks like a cheap way to avoid tipping. This is the second such note I've seen like this. I guess there's a group of cheapskates out there who need to find a way to avoid the civilized point of tipping. I hope the woman and her family got gas.

The comment about the servers name should have been the first clue, I would have reported it to management and had her moved out of my section.

So, you were wearing a big sign that said you were gay? Wow! Most employers frown on that. How else would she know? Just by your hair style. That musty mean that every long haired guy is gay to...

I hope this goes viral , so people can see what pos that we deal with every day.  This ignorant woman needs to understand that if she agrees or not we are still people that should have the same rights as them. The government needs to make it clear and stop living in the 1920's. When we are all treated the same with the same rights people may still have their own opinion on it, but they will know that we have the support by the majority. Hate breeds hate!!!

I'd be on the lookout for her to come in again and believe me, she'd KNOW that I remembered her.

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