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Positively In Love

Positively In Love


Are HIV Positive Men More Likely To Be Better Boyfriends?

I'm a hopeless romantic in the modern, gay dating scene. Yes, I'm on the dating apps and am constantly thinking of a picnic on the beach with someone I meet at a bar. Over the last few years, I've befriended wonderful couples who are committed and monogamous. More times than not, they reveal they are HIV positive. I envy them, as monogamy is something I desire. Hell, I was with an HIV negative man for five years...in an open relationship.

Recently, I had a slew of exciting dates with a gentleman who would eventually tell me he's HIV Positive. Immediately, I had my reservations as I am an HIV negative man. My date and I discussed everything to the moon and back about stigma and dating. I gained facts, even with research backed. My Monopoly-crazed date would educate me further than I've been taught in school or through my local LGBTQ clinic.


I've never been sweeped off my feet before I met my date. He's thoughtful, handsome, and an active Instinct follower- I know he's reading this. We have so much in common...besides our status. I began to think about the dedicated couples I've met throughout my journey. The happy ones, are often open of their status. They are clearly in love. In public, I've never seen them argue with one another over jealousy or petty drama. Instead, I witness them on Instagram taking trips abroad and living their fullest life.

Are HIV positive men better boyfriends? Have I been allowing stigma to corrupt my brain? Ignorantly in my past, I've dismissed anyone with a different health status than me. Maturing into an adult, I can't help but become aware some of the wisest members of the LGBTQ community are HIV positive. They aren't only my friends and potential lovers, but role models.

Should one be so quick to blow off someone with a different status than ourselves? Have we been limiting our love lives? I'm sick and tired of waiting around for someone who isn't willing to be open and honest to me. I'd write more, but I think I have a good morning text to reply too.

Does your Instinct tell you to expand your horizons?


Disclaimer: This is the opinion of one Instinct contributor and not that of Instinct Magazine.