Adam Dupuis's picture

Reddit User: Can You Be Gay For 'Just One Guy?'

Okay guys, have you had a woman that is so just right that you could see yourself being more than just friends with her?  I have to say, yes, this has happened to me a couple of times in my life where there has been "the perfect girl" that I might just swing the other way for.  And I'm not talking about the butch lesbians we see in the bar that confuse the heck out of us and have to look thrice to make sure it is a girl, but I'm talking about a woman that has the curves, the hair, the smile, etc, the kind that some of our parents would love to see us bring home. 

What if it were the other way?  What if you were a straight guy and there's this one male friend that seems to be "the one" that you would do anything and everything with including a dating relationship? 

A reddit user thinks something’s wrong with him because he’s got a crush on a male friend.  User KittiesToTheMax posted on AskGayBros because he has feelings for his ‘foster brother’.

The two met after their parents dated. After that relationship failed, they kept in touch.  His feelings changed from admiration to infatuation. The original poster said he realised after becoming jealous of the girls his ‘brother’ dated.

At the end of the post, the OP admits to feeling ‘perverted’ and ‘ashamed’.  Plenty of users rushed to reassure him he had no reason to feel that way.

‘I know guys who I’ve been with where I’m the only one they care about and otherwise they didn’t do anything. My advice is just don’t label it, love who you love, don’t worry about the rest.’

A number of other users inverted the situation, and say they can imagine being straight for just one girl.

‘Yeah, this sounds really feasible. I can imagine myself having this relationship with a girl that I spent a lot of time around.

‘I don’t think this makes a person gay, I think this just reveals that we’re all a little flexible. You’re not necessarily even bi. It’s a spectrum. You’re just at 99 instead of 100.’

Other users knew of the same thing happening to themselves or others.

‘Well when I met my BF, I realized that I wanted him a lot. I had liked girls before and don’t recall ever being attracted by boys.  We’ve been together for almost five years and I haven’t been attracted to anyone since, boys or girls.  Sometimes I am iffy to identify myself as gay since I don’t feel attracted to guys except my bf,’ he continues.

Read the full post below:

‘I’m straight for the most part but I do have feeling for this one guy I know, he’s kind of like my foster brother in a way, or at least that’s how we met. My mom met his dad and we started to hang out, the relationship didn’t last long enough to mean anything but me and him stayed in contact even though our parents didn’t.

‘It didn’t become sexual until very recently, at first I just kinda looked up to him and wanted to be more like him. Then I wanted to be in his company because he made me feel cool and normal when I was around him. I started becoming quite jealous of the girls he showered affections on and at that point I realized what was going on.

‘I’m very much straight, I love girls, have sex with them often and there has never been any other guy that I’ve been into in any way. This guy is different for some reason.

I feel pretty perverted, ashamed of how I’m feeling.’ - gaystarnews.com

Has this happened to you? 

Is there that special girl in your life that could be the it girl when there has only been guys before?

Do you think he is still Straight? Is he now Bi?  Or is he a full blown Gay?

H/T: gaystarnews.com

 

Comments

+1
0
-1
[-]

im a straight guy but for the last year or two have been attracted to my mate, he got a GF, he always acts really nice and is kind to me when we are alone, but not the same when we are with other people. also hes always different on snapchat and i never understand it. sometimes dont even know if he likes me that much, I would say he is my best mate, but dont think he feels the same way. never really know what hes thinking, i have never told him i feel this way and dont really have many intimate type conversations 

+1
0
-1
[-]

First off, I'd like to call bullcrap on all those whose feeble minds have to label everything and can only equate love and intimacy with sex.

I knew two great guys when I lived in ND. They had been best friends since they were in grade school. I don't remember all the details, but once in high school while one comforted the other who was distraught for some reason, it became intimate. NOT SEXUAL! An intimacy neither had experienced before. Neither one had ever had feelings or sexual attraction for each other or any other man before. 

Fast forward to a few years later when I knew them. One was happily married with two kids and the other was a confirmed heterosexual bachelor, who while dating often, had no desire to be tied down to anyone. Why should he, he had a great job that allowed him to travel and had the family life, living vicariously through his best friend as godparent to his children. Neither one had ever had or wanted to have a sexual experience with another man. With the wife's knowledge and understanding, once or twice a month they would have "boy's weekend" where they spent the time together doing the guy things (sporting events, cards, concerts, etc.) they did growing up together. Occasionally it became more intimate, and on rare occasion, sexual. As they described it, their knowledge of each others good times and bad times, and the love and understanding of each other, was what lead to the intimacy. There is a safety and security within and from each other, they don't feel with others.

Why try and muck it up by labeling it or psychoanalyzing it?

+1
-1
-1
[-]

you are bi, get over with it.

+1
0
-1
[-]

There's a term called "demisexual" which describes people who require an emotional connection with someone in order to feel any sexual attraction toward them. Maybe there's some of this going on here.

+1
0
-1
[-]

I have had a straight guy friend that was only gay for me and when he was hit on buy another guy he would flat out refuse. He had even told his long term girl friend about it. I have had other tell me if they were gay they would only want me. They say it's because I am different, I hunt, fish, grow and raise my own produce and meat and cook, can, and preserve my own food. In the mid-west that seems to be admired by other men. So I strongly believe straight men can be gay for just one gay or Bi guy, and not have any intrest in others.

+1
-1
-1
[-]

if you want to do sexual things with men you are gay, you always have been

+1
0
-1
[-]

I myself spent 29 years primarily and exclusively attracted to men. But ... There was one girl that it all changed for. She was impossible not to love and a year and a half later we are still together! 

I too struggle with the correct sexuality identity I now "should" claim, since she is the only lady I have ever felt romantically and sexually attracted to, but - You love who you love. It takes courage to step outside your lane, and sometimes it is worth it :) 

+1
-1
-1
[-]

I call bullcrap

+1
0
-1
[-]

Not too long ago I would have said no, he was bi but does not want to admit it, but if we believe some people are sexually fluid, some women are college lesbians, trans men who are attracted to other men or trans women attracted to women, points many have made, we have to acknowledge this us possible too.

+1
0
-1
[-]

It sometimes seems like these reddit posts are staged -- in order to give instinct something to post.....

+1
0
-1
[-]

I've had the opposite experience you mention. I'm completely gay, never had sex with a woman, and never had the inclination. But this /one/ time in grad school, I ran into a classmate in the hall talking with a woman I didn't know. I stopped to talk and thought during the conversation that this new woman was attractive. As we talked more, it hit me that I found her /very/ attractive. As in, getting a physical reaction kind of attractive. It confused the hell out of me. Later it turned out she was a lesbian (no, not the butch stereotype at /all/) so we wound up working together in the school's LGBT group, of all things. She remains something of a colleague many years later, and there's always been a little bit of lingering attraction remaining. So maybe she puts off some kind of high testosterone pheromone thing that sets me off, but whatever it is, it makes perfect sense to me that there's always at least that one person who tosses a monkey wrench into what you thought was your fixed orientation. :)

+1
0
-1
[-]

I'm normally attracted to men, but there is/was one woman I would have been happy to have a relationship with.  I think it is healthy to acknowledge and accept our feelings and love people for who they are.  If we just look for love, we might just be surprised to find our perfect mate is not someone we expected. 

+1
0
-1
[-]

BROMOSEXUALITY

+1
0
-1
[-]

I have a friend who's straight and he is still in love with me a guy .... I'm literally the only guy he has ever had feelings for so I know what your going through some what ... You have two choices either tell him or live with the what if's

Add new comment