Satanists Turn Founder Of Westboro Baptist Church's Dead Mom Gay
Hmm..is this maybe a little funny? Maybe a lot creepy?? We haven't fully decided.
A group of New York based Satanists known as The Satanic Temple trekked down to Mississippi to perform a religious ceremony over the grave of Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps, Jr.'s mother. Catherine Idalette Johnson.
The ceremony, known as a "Pink Mass," contains scripture recitations, candles, and a ceremonial proceeding, which apparently turns a deceased straight spirit gay.
The idea for the mass came about in April, when the WBC announced their intention to protest the funerals of the Boston Bombing victims. The church never showed up, but later issued a statement saying they were there “in spirit.” As is always the case when WBC does or says anything, both the initial plans and the subsequent statement pissed off everyone in the world, including Satanists. And so, according to a press release, the Satanic Temple decided that a ceremony celebrating same-sex couples "at the gravesite of Fred Phelps’ mother was an appropriate way to meet the Westboro Baptists, ‘in spirit,’ but this time on our terms.”
Temple spokesperson Lucien Greaves explains, "We believe that Fred Phelps is obligated to believe that his mother is now gay in the afterlife. Further, if beliefs are inviolable rights, nobody has the right to challenge our right to believe that Fred Phelps believes that his mother is now gay."
And they may not stop there. Greaves continues, saying "We haven’t gayed Fred’s father yet, or his great-aunt, Irene Jordan, who raised him after his mother died. We will perform Pink Masses for each of them, and more descendants of the Phelps, each time they picket funerals or applaud horrific terrorist actions, as they are known to do. Fred himself is getting pretty long in the tooth, and I hope to be presiding over his Pink Mass before long."
Greaves is also encouraging other gay couples to visit the grave. Apparently when you make out over a grave after a Pink Mass, the spirit gets "pleasured in the afterlife."
We think we'll pass.
Here's an idea, how about we just all stay away from each other's graves and funerals?
What do you think, Instincters? Is this whole thing more funny or creepy? (We're going to go shower while you figure it out.)