'Someone Knowingly Gave My Friend HIV, What Do I Do?'

A Australian Redditor who goes by the name jayhow90 shares the story of his friend, whom he believes was knowingly infected with HIV.

He writes:

Hi guys. My friend hooked up with a guy a month ago, who told him he was negative and on PREP. My friend is not on Prep, as he was not aware it could be imported from overseas unless under clinical trial (we are in Australia, but anyway it's semantics).

A few weeks ago he started getting very fluey symptoms and had a blood test which showed up as negative. 2 days ago he got tested again - bearing in mind he had not had sex with anyone else since that guy. The doctor called today advising there was a mutation occurring in his blood cells but could not 100% confirm it's HIV. He messaged the guy on Grindr telling him this and asked if he was definitely negative, the guy replied that he is actually HIV positive and had lied to him. He then blocked my friend on Grindr.

I have been able to find the profile on his account. In Australia the law is that you must take reasonable precautions to prevent transmission. Seeing as the guy initiated unprotected sex I believe he needs to be reported to the authorities. I want to know how we can go about reporting this so the police can locate him using Grindr. Should I just report it to Grindr and explain the situation? I am so fucking angry someone would do this. Also - stay safe kids, people are fucked up.

Any advice is appreciated

In the top response, one person suggested:

Talk to the police first. Police will then contact Grindr and serve them legal papers requesting info on the user, etc.

Another person echoed the advice, and said:

Go to the police as quickly as possible because other people are currently in danger of criminal transmission from this individual.

One Redditor said:

Unless I read your post incorrectly, your friend may not have HIV. 

You said:

The doctor called today advising there was a mutation occurring in his blood cells but could not 100% confirm it's HIV.

So the first step is for your friend to get tested several more times to determine if he actually has HIV or not.

Yet another user said:

Don't want to preach but... Always practice safe sex with strangers. Most people are honest but some dirtbags will lie about their status. Just about everyone's grindr profile around me says "neg on prep", I'm assuming many are not neg on prep just parroting a phrase to get in guys' pants. If they aren't willing to show their face pic on grindr they probably are not honest with their doctor about having sex with men.My doctor didn't know what Prep was when I asked about it. If all these guys who claim to be neg on prep were, more health professionals would be well aware of it.Various drs and nurses i interact with don't seem to know much about it yet.

What advice would you give?

H/T: Reddit /GayBros

Comments

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It sucks what happen to his friend and that this piece of shit is lying and engaging in unsafe sex with men that may not be up for barebacking had they  known the truth & while I'd support there being some sort of consequence in situations where 2 people are in a committed relationship and have opted to stop using protection but one partner has been lying about there status or he/she is stepping out behind the others back and engaged in unsafe sex or even if they contracted hiv through sharing a needle. In this case however the truth is, it's just as much the friends fault for having unprotected sex with someone that he hadn't built up any sort of trust with. Words may sound nice but that's all words are. It's actions that show you a person's character and if you can trust them. Even then you could still be wrong. So this dude who is HIV+ that's breeding people and lying about his own status is only partially responsible. Your friend does have to look far to see who else played a part in him contracting HIV. Take responsibility for your actions don't shrug all the blame on others because unless raped you had choices. 

Also I'd advise him that HIV isn't the death sentence it once was. That he may have some challenges ahead but his life is far from over.

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It sucks what happen to his friend and that this piece of shit is lying and engaging in unsafe sex with men that may not be up for barebacking had they  known the truth & while I'd support there being some sort of consequence in situations where 2 people are in a committed relationship and have opted to stop using protection but one partner has been lying about there status or he/she is stepping out behind the others back and engaged in unsafe sex or even if they contracted hiv through sharing a needle. In this case however the truth is, it's just as much the friends fault for having unprotected sex with someone that he hadn't built up any sort of trust with. Words may sound nice but that's all words are. It's actions that show you a person's character and if you can trust them. Even then you could still be wrong. So this dude who is HIV+ that's breeding people and lying about his own status is only partially responsible. Your friend does have to look far to see who else played a part in him contracting HIV. Take responsibility for your actions don't shrug all the blame on others because unless raped you had choices. 

Also I'd advise him that HIV isn't the death sentence it once was. That he may have some challenges ahead but his life is far from over.

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I think it is funny how some bitchy gays will blame the guy for trusting someone that he just met. Yes a bit naive, but that does not excuse the dirtbag that infected him. (If he is infected) The dirtbag needs to be prosecuted and jailed. PERIOD!

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HIV isn't so easy to pass along that you can just decide to give it to someone.  your friend made a poor decision to have unprotected sex with someone he didn't know well enough and now he has to deal with it.  I'm sorry it's happening to him but I don't see a crime here.

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Your friend is a moron.

The guy lying about his status is a sociopath, but your friend barebacking a total stranger is an idiot.

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A.. your friend should go to the police. It's not your crime to report. He should bring the message where the guy admits to lying and being positive.

B.. the police may do nothing until your friend tests positive for sure, in the interim they may warn the guy to stop. The  positive test would be actual evidence. They will probably need other Witnesses from Grindr to prove the case

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If you meet some stranger and you take his word for it on his status,  then not much sympathy for you,, sorry.  In this day and age we all know how HIV is transmitted and its YOUR job to protect yourself.  I don't understand why its so hard to use a condom???  

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