Straight News Of The Day: Elon Musk's Dad Has Baby With His Stepdaughter

 

I honestly, for the life of me, don't know if anyone's going to click on this or not, but if you did, I love you. Because this s**t be cray and needs to be heard! Elon Musk is the brilliant visionary behind SpaceX and Tesla and everything else that Epcot told us was going to happen, and while his professional life is right on track, his family life has derailed to the point that the train isn't anywhere near the tracks. The train hopped on a SpaceX ship and headed to freaking Mars ya'll.

Musk has been very vocal about the tense relationship he has with his father Errol Musk, and he even told Rolling Stone that his dad:

...was such a terrible human being. You have no idea…My dad will have a carefully thought-out plan of evil. He will plan evil.

Well, the fan has connected with the poop, because, according to Just Jared, we now know that the seventy-two-year-old Errol had a child with his thirty-year-old stepdaughter Jana Bezuidenhout! In discussing Woody Allen-ing his stepdaughter, Errol defended himself by stating that the two never had a father/daughter relationship, and that they did not spend a great deal of time together during her youth. He states:

We were lonely, lost people. One thing led to another — you can call it God’s plan or nature’s plan.  

Yes, seems very natural. Errol adds that his child/mother is a:

...delightful girl and a wonderful mother.

And he's allegedly getting a paternity test for the now ten-month-old boy, insinuating that his daughter is playing the field with more men than just her stepdad. Well, that was the straight news of the day. For as crazy as we gays can get, we're just no match for straight people! 

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"And he's allegedly getting a paternity test for the now ten-month-old boy. Insinuating that he's playing the field with more than just his stepdaughter."

How is getting a paternity test insinuating that he's playing the field? I am thoroughly confused by that last paragraph. (I'm not sure if it's simply the poor structure of the writing, or if the author doesn't know about biology.)

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What the article actually says is: " insinuating that his daughter is playing the field with more men than just her stepdad." He wants to be sure he is the father.

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